Shower/Bachelorette Guest List (Co-Workers)

[Deleted User]

Hey guys, another co-worker question.

I work on a pretty small account with 19 people, including myself. 12 are currently on my invitation list (I never ever see 7 of the people due to scheduling and shifts, so I invited the people I saw--well, I sent save-the-dates to them and plan on inviting them). 

So, that's that. 

My MOH is asking for the invitation list for my shower/bachleorette.

As far as the Shower, 6 are on my list. But another 3 work with me. Should they be invited? (all are invited to the wedding) I just know people will talk about it, and I don't want them to feel like they were singled-out and excluded. I'm friendly with everyone, but I actually SEE the 6 people invited outside of work.

As I've posted before, the Bachelorette is the same day, and 5 of THOSE are invited (the one person left off is my manager, who is older, so I didn't figure she would be interested or hurt about not being invited to that part, but she is invited to the shower). That part is trickier, because it's more like "Yay, let's party," and one of the original 3 left out of the shower is older, another one I hardly know because she just started, and another one IS nice, I just haven't talked to her outside of work.

I can't decide whether to do the "who you talk to outside of work" thing or "invite all because the number not invited is just a few" thing. And I could go in two different directions with shower vs. bachelorette (I could see including them in on the shower more than the bachelorette, for example).

[Deleted User]

Just from my personal experience, I invited all my female co-workers to the shower that were invited to the wedding.  I only invited the girls that I was closest to for my bachelorette.  We weren't having a wild night or anything just (dinner, drinks, club - over by 11), but I just wanted a nice with my nearest and dearest.  I would keep them all on for the shower and cut the bachelorette down to  who you want.  Just keep mentions of it to a minimum at the office or let those from the office that you are inviting to the bachelorette know you're keeping it smaller than the shower.

jessicabessica

I would probably invite all the women you are inviting from work to your shower, but not have any coworkers on your bachelorette party list.  If you invite some coworkers to the shower who you are close enough to to invite to the wedding, you should invite all of them to avoid any hurt feelings or awkwardness.  Unless you are super close to 1-2 coworkers, I think that a party night isn't really coworker-friendly, and not including any coworkers avoids any issues there.  

mlg78

I'm a social worker so I work with pretty much all women so I invited all of the ladies (not the 4 guys) to the wedding and all of them to the shower.  The only one invited to the bachelorette is the one coworker who happens to also be a bridesmaid.  Think of who would be comfortable in what situation.  I don't know your relationship at work or what type of bachelorette party you're having...but who would be comfortable seeing you drunk on Saturday and then showing your face on Monday morning?

[Deleted User]

The bachelorette is just drinks at my house, or, that's what was proposed by my MOH...and it's the same DAY as the shower, so that's why I think this is weird to only invite some to SOME of the day.

And I've already been talking about the bachelorette to those who are invited, so I can't NOT invite any of them to the bachelorette.

My gut says to just invite the 6 to the bachelorette and the 9 to the shower, but I KNOW people will talk about it later in front of the 3 not invited. I mean, we're all adults. They have to understand that I have been working with these 6 ladies much longer than these 3 newer ladies, right?