omg please help

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_omg-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b90ef2d5-f713-47da-85a3-cd986b9692c9Post:b9f7405c-1fd5-4d7f-8949-6e20ece98799">Re: omg please help</a>:
[QUOTE]I think your "or bought a house thing" is a little silly. You should have just said "we are only inviting married couples". Otherwise, if we don't know them, they're not invited.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]
My five year relationship with my boyfriend has lasted longer than most marriage I know. Marriage isn't even legal for everyone in every state. There are also those who choose not to be legally married, but their relationship isn't any less significant. These are just some reasons why making the cut-off point Married vs Not Married can be very offensive no matter what social circle you are in.
And, of course, there are those who choose to rent, as opposed to buy, and they shouldn't be punished based on their choices.

JenO24

I agree w/ Simply Fated.  I've been w/ my boyfriend and now FI now for 3 years and we choose to rent.  If we were split up as a unit then neither of us would go and as a PP said, send a crappy gift b/c the "cut off" was stupid of whose invited and who isn't.

You really should have though through what you were doing and posted this question on here BEFORE you sent out invites.  Be prepared for some backlash w/ the invite situation you got yourself into.

I think your real problem though is that you've invited way over what your venue can hold.  You can't assume that a certain percent won't show up so you'll be ok.  Always plan for 100% attendance...then if you get back any declines you send out some B List invites...this way you're covering your butt.

missejayne

Yep invites are out, because I have heard horrible "track them down" stories and wanted time to be able to do that. I called that friend and explained the situation, saying if enough people say no, she's in. He TOTALLY understood saying its my day and its ok. I just have such an enormous family... and already having to cut some friends and co-workers.

AND THANK YOU blipsettpr &  Manwaithielfor making me feel like a normal person not the most horrible evil self centered bitch of a bride on the planet.

Oh and I didn't invite WAY over... I invited 5 over. I cut the list waaaaaaaaaaay down to do that. I have only 4 RSVP no's as it is.

OH OH OH and the girlfriend and him have been dating for 3 months soooo ?! If it had been hell even over 6 months or a year I would have reconsidered. But three months? NOT enough time I do not care what anyone says.



I hope everyone has a wonderful 2nd half of the week!
Thanks for your time, efforts, opinions, "advice".... good luck to all with their planning!

banana468

Really?  Three months isn't enough time to be serious?

BIL was dating his GF for about 3 months when we sent invitations.  And they were married about 10 months ago.  Had we said, "no, you haven't been dating long enough" then even though they'd met each other's parents (a huge deal), and were serious about each other, we would have marginalized their relationship by not including her. And now three years to the day after our wedding, I'd feel so bad that I excluded someone who is now family.

And by the way, just a word of caution on the boards.  Please don't use phrases like , "It's my day."  It doesn't go over well.  It isn't just your day.  It's the day of anyone you request to be involved (WP, guests, etc) and it stops being just your day once you send the invitatons or ask people to be in the WP. 

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: omg please help : October is my club board and almost everyone has sent their invitations in the past few weeks. I feel SO behind because mine aren't going out until this weekend at the earliest (which my mom still thinks is too early). I know, I know, 6-8 weeks is actually correct...
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I'm getting married in November and we have to send out our invites very early - like in the next couple days. The hold on the rooms at the farmhouse B&B is only until September 6. I really dislike having to send them out so early but I don't see any way around it :^(