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Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed

For your entertainment..
About a year ago FI and I were invited to his friend's wedding.  We RSVP'd by the date, went to the ceremony which was outside in November in NYC with no heat.  It was freezing. Needless to say we were already peeved as we were walking into the reception.  There was a seating chart and SURPRISE, we weren't on there anywhere.  Rather than try to hunt someone down and cause a scene or whatever we left.  I ended up getting an upper respiratory infection the next week from sitting outside for an hour long frigid ceremony.  It totally ruined our moods, until we went a bought some steaks and a few bottles of wine on the way home.

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Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed

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    I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and asked the bride if there was going to be a head table or sweetheart table at the reception. My FI (boyfriend at the time) and I were going to fly in for the wedding, but if it was going to be a head table he would stay at home since he didn't know anyone else there. She told me they were going to do a sweetheart table so the bridal party could sit with their SOs. Perfect!

    3 days before the wedding I ask her when we're hanging out who she sat us with. Her response "Oh, you're sitting with me at the head table, obviously! But don't worry, I sat your bf with cool people"

    The cool people were at a table in the back of the reception in the corner. I was not thrilled and neither was he.

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    Wow Wheels. I would be pissed.  Especially after you spent the money for his flight.
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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2013
    Same thing happened to me when FI (then bf) was in his friend's wedding. I was seated at the table in the back corner, the furthest spot away form FI you could possibly get. The only lucky part was that I was seated with at least some of FIs friends who I knew. 

    ETA: I went to a wedding a while ago and it happened to fall on the evening of a huuuge snowstorm (read: it was really dangerous to drive). When we finally made it to the venue the MOB said to us, "Well I'm glad you made it! F*ck everyone else who didn't come!" It was cash bar (only for who weren't in the wedding party), passed hors d'ouvres only, no seating, and a 7pm start.
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    I was invited to a wedding that my bf at the time (fiance now) wasn't. I went alone and it was miserable.

    Needless to say that couple is divorced now...
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    I went to a wedding where there wasn't enough food. It was a buffet and by the time I got up there, most of the food was gone. I felt sick most of the night from having nothing to eat. They also moved half of the tables and chairs out of the way to make room for a dance floor, so I couldnt' even sit down when I started feeling dizzy.
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    I was at a wedding where people from the groom's family got up all at once to serve themselves from the buffet before the bridal party was even announced. The bride's sister kept asking them to sit down and they refused. By the time the bride and groom got up to the buffet, and before the bride's family even got in line for their first helping, the groom's family was back up in line for seconds.


    At another wedding, the bride's mother wore a white dress for the day of the ceremony. It was December, week of Christmas. The dress she had shown her daughter originally was cranberry. Bride asked my mom to help her with her dress and things in the morning (instead of her own mother) because she was so offended.  When the sisters tried to ask her mother to put on the cranberry dress (that she actually had in her room), MOB said the white one looked better on her and it's her second wedding anyway.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:51f3709a-dc11-45ef-b919-ae174589064c">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]Same thing happened to me when FI (then bf) was in his friend's wedding. I was seated at the table in the back corner, the furthest spot away form FI you could possibly get. The only lucky part was that I was seated with at least some of FIs friends who I knew.  ETA: I went to a wedding a while ago and it happened to fall on the evening of a huuuge snowstorm (read: it was really dangerous to drive). When we finally made it to the venue the MOB said to us, "Well I'm glad you made it! F*ck everyone else who didn't come!" It was cash bar (only for who weren't in the wedding party), passed hors d'ouvres only, no seating, and a 7pm start.
    Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    Oy. That's awful!

    On a related note... I know of a wedding that fell on a weekend with a HUGE storm (in October) and the couple acted like the most gracious hosts ever. Power went out at one point and everyone ate by candlelight and told stories about good times. A lot didn't show up, but the bride & groom didn't even blink an eye.
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    edited March 2013
    Kristbot- seriously?? They couldn't even splurge on drinks for their few attendees

    Vonclancy - when I met with a caterer earlier, she was explaining why the buffets are higher cost because by nature, people take more so you have to accomodate for that...and I understood. She told me to be really honest with her about guest count because she's had brides tell her far fewer head counts so they could pay less...and when they ran out of food, she was blamed for it. One even tried to sue her.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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    I was invited to a wedding with my FI, then had my invitation (not his) revoked 4 days before the event because they didn't have room for me anymore (I guess they got last minute RSVPs from family who decided to travel).

    Another wedding I was also invited to with my FI, then had my invitation revoked because.... one of the bridesmaids wanted to take him as HER +1 after she and her boyfriend broke up! I feel badly about it now but I may have gone a little green-eyed monster on that one...
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    I was invited to a wedding with my name added to my dad's wedding invitation.  I haven't lived at home in 10+ years, and my FI wasn't invited at all, we were already engaged at the time too.
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    I was added onto my mom's invite- I was 27, with a boyfriend and did not live with her. That irked me.

    Another one, we got an invite telling us what to wear and to not bring alcohol to the wedding. Plus there were registry cards in the invite as well.

    Oh, and not getting thank you notes- I haven't received one from a wedding I went to. And it took 6 months for another bride to get a thank you note out for her shower and wedding. Special.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:0adfbe46-aa0a-4d9c-b070-f48e74189f47">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was invited to a wedding that my bf at the time (fiance now) wasn't. I went alone and it was miserable. Needless to say that couple is divorced now...
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    <div>Needless to say?  This implies that b/c they breached etiquette at their wedding, their marriage failed, which I doubt was the reason. </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    This is more of a pet peeve than anything... pseudo facebook invites. On more than one occasion I've received facebook messages asking me if I'm interested in attending their wedding, and if so, please send an address (1 month or 2 out from the date, 1000 miles away).
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:e06109f6-2510-446b-97eb-5a9b67f7a1f3">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE] Another wedding I was also invited to with my FI, then had my invitation revoked because.... <strong>one of the bridesmaids wanted to take him as HER +1</strong> after she and her boyfriend broke up! I feel badly about it now but I may have gone a little green-eyed monster on that one...
    Posted by jaenella[/QUOTE]

    <div>What the what? That's... messed up. Why would she want to invite your FI as her +1??</div><div>
    </div><div>I really and sincerely hope your FI turned down both of those invitations when your invitation was taken away.</div>
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    I was not invited to DH's cousin's wedding when we were engaged. 

    I contacted my friend's MOH the morning of the wedding to let her know I couldn't make it at the last minute.  I was up all night vomiting, had a high fever, and was in the ER.  My friend threw a fit and hasn't talked to me since. 
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:93110827-7413-4877-9bfc-907081528dc6">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed : Needless to say?  This implies that b/c they breached etiquette at their wedding, their marriage failed, which I doubt was the reason. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I was thinking the same thing but figured someone else would take care of it, haha

    </div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:93110827-7413-4877-9bfc-907081528dc6">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed : Needless to say?  This implies that b/c they breached etiquette at their wedding, their marriage failed, which I doubt was the reason. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
    I was just about to comment on that.  Obviously marriages are bad because the people involved breached etiquette.
    Anniversary
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:e06109f6-2510-446b-97eb-5a9b67f7a1f3">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was invited to a wedding with my FI, then had my invitation (not his) revoked 4 days before the event because they didn't have room for me anymore (I guess they got last minute RSVPs from family who decided to travel). Another wedding I was also invited to with my FI, then <strong>had my invitation revoked because.... one of the bridesmaids wanted to take him as HER +1 after she and her boyfriend broke up!</strong> I feel badly about it now but I may have gone a little green-eyed monster on that one...
    Posted by jaenella[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is insane! What did he do??</div>
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    I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar - so that one ranks up there for me.  That said, for that wedding the groom paid for everything, and he told his bride he could afford 30 people.  She said she "couldn't live without at least 100" so I blame the bride for bullying him and the groom for not having a backbone on that one.

    I also went to a wedding recently where the father of the bride really insulted his daughter and the groom during his toast.  He basically said, "my daughter has been able to manipulate me to get what she wants since she was a child.  When I met Groom, I quickly realized this was just another thing she wanted.  What Bride wants, Bride gets."  Everybody awkwardly laughed to try to make the bride feel better... but it was clearly forced.
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    Oh don't even get me started on thank you cards.  That wedding where I was included on my dad's invitation, I was never given a thank you card for the bridal shower gift, my name was attached to my sister's cause we went in together.  Of the 3 weddings my FI and I went to last year (I didn't go to the one where I was an after thought on the invitation) we have received 1 thank you card.  Thank goodness we wrote a check for the one wedding so I know they got it since the check was cashed.
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    I went to a wedding with a tiered reception, cash bar, a dollar dance, and no thank you notes.  There may have been a gap as well, but I don't know that for sure becaue I was part of the tiered list of invitees.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:b745842e-690a-45c0-841f-85e57fee037b">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]Kristbot- seriously?? They couldn't even splurge on drinks for their few attendees Vonclancy - when I met with a caterer earlier, she was explaining why the buffets are higher cost because by nature, people take more so you have to accomodate for that...and I understood. She told me to be really honest with her about guest count because she's had brides tell her far fewer head counts so they could pay less...and when they ran out of food, she was blamed for it. One even tried to sue her.
    Posted by BritniLeigh[/QUOTE]

    Not really an etiquette breach so much as a "wtf" moment - when I was looking at different wedding venues, I contacted a caterer who worked at one specific venue. She told me all about how they serve lots of bread during the cocktail hour, since bread fills people up and then they eat less food at the meal time. They wanted $125 a plate for just the meal (no venue, drinks, etc). I don't think she was supposed to tell me that...
    Follow Me (and my wedding!) on Pinterest
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_worst-etiquette-breaches-youve-witnessed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9a34f56-daca-47fc-b1a3-3bd8b58e8229Post:5137b26f-0c47-45da-a50d-64ddbd97dc04">Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Worst Etiquette Breaches You've Witnessed : This is insane! What did he do??
    Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    <div>He definitely said no to that one! I may have thrown a fit over how rude it was at the time... I'm sure she just wanted someone she knew well to be her +1 so she wouldn't feel like the 'single one' but... I just couldn't get over that she got the bride to try and disinvite me so she could take my FI (BF at the time) - I felt SO disrespected!</div><div>
    </div><div>And Moonlight, he did end up going to the other one... only because he felt that it was rude to decline so close to the event and was trying to understand the difficult position the B&G were in. Knowing what I've learned after being on these boards, I think we'd make a different decision now, but that was a few years ago!</div>
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    LiLe422LiLe422 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2013
    My ex-SIL was a total bridezilla.  Where do I begin?  I think I may need bullet points for this one...
    • SIL's mother dictated my shower gift AND told me "you're buying all the paper products for the shower."  The best part -- the gift I was told to buy was a cake serving set that wasn't even used at the reception.
    • SIL demanded these ridiculously expensive sandals (that you couldn't even see under my bm dress) and she refused to pay for them.
    • My brother asked me to do a reading at the ceremony.  I accepted, and asked them numerous times for the reading so I could practice.  They finally produced the reading at the rehearsal, the night before the wedding.
    • SIL showed up over an hour late to the rehearsal.  We actually said eff it and started rehearsing without her.  She finally arrived and flipped schit cause we already started.
    • When FI and I declined going back to her house after the rehearsal for sandwiches (at 9:30 at night, the night before the wedding) she wigged out and told us thanks for wasting her parents money.
    • SIL hired one person to do 7 updos and makeup.  I knew it would never work so my sister and I declined and got our hair done on our way to her house in the morning.  She was so mad we declined, she decided not to give us our bm gifts.  Just to be a witch, she left it in plain view for us to see.
    • The bp showed up 45 minutes late to the ceremony because she had to take umpteen million pictures.  My FI said her minister made a joke about her possibly being a runaway bride and my brother was mortified.
    • The reception had a cash bar.
    • The bp sat at a head table NOT with SOs.  In fact, both FI and I were in the wedding and had to sit at opposite ends of the table. 

    That's all I can think of at the moment.  It was by far the worst wedding I have ever attended.  Planning my own wedding, I remind myself of how horrible she was, and I vow to never treat my loved ones the way that wench treated me. 

    ETA:  In the span of one year they had a baby shower, bridal shower and wedding. Not one ty card was sent. 

    image


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    For a DW this fall, I am invited as a guest. I (and all other guests) received a 2 page long email from the bride that was completely condescending and snarky. She felt the need to inform us which airline to fly, how to rent a car, what alcohol will be served, that there will be a gap so we should plan accordingly, oh and not to bother her with any questions about a week before the wedding. There was more but but i stopped reading. This is the third email I have gotten from this bride and I am not even in the wedding. I feel bad for her bridesmaids.

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    I have no stories to share b/c all of my etiquette breach witnessings are so tame compared to these! 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    I thought of another one - at best friend's wedding, one couple brought their dog!!! big labradoodle. It wasn't at a house or anything, it was at a winery $75/plate type deal on a wicked hot day in JULY!

    During the photos, one of the BMs stepped in crap.

    The venue had to ask the couple to remove the dog from the premises but it was too hot to keep it in the car, so instead of leaving, one stayed with the dog in the parking lot at all times and then they switched.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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    "I've only been to one wedding with a cash bar - so that one ranks up there for me"

    Wow, I can only think of 2 receptions I've been to that weren't a cash bar. I talked to my family and friends about how negative people are about them on here and they all just thought that's normal. Before people jump on me, I'm not doing a cash bar...

    No thank you notes are ridiculous. Kick in the face. I can't believe how prevalent that is. I got one on the anniversary of my best friend's wedding where i was a BM. I wasn't sure if that was worse than not getting one or what.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Just last week I was uninvited to a friend's April wedding via mass Facebook message.

    Me, along with 10 others of her "friends" saying she ran out of space and she can't have us there.

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    FI and I got invited to a wedding and we were put on his mom's invite (we don't even live with her).  This same invitation also told us how to dress, and said that we can contribute to the couple's honeymoon fund instead of purchasing a gift.
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