Reception Only Invites

Becky Lauber

Do you send "Save The Date" announcements to people who you only plan to invite to the reception?

The Mel and Todd Show

No.  You just kick them.  Delivers the same message, but with less postage. 

ceh789

You don't invite people to only the reception.  The wedding is one event.

adamar15

Please say it's not busy season anymore.  I have missed you.

littleluckypenny

*sigh* Didn't we just get through this?!?!?


It is rather rude to invite people to only the reception.  THE ONLY EXCEPTION being if the ceremony is immediate family only (parents, siblings, grandparents).

redheadfsu

Reception only invites are as tacky as you can get. Plus you offend people, sometimes to the point of ending the relationship.

To prevent being tacky & offending your nearest & dearest... an invite is an all or nothing thing.

The Mel and Todd Show

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:fa931c3c-4212-4dda-8308-b1aa0688f6a4">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Please say it's not busy season anymore.  I have missed you.
Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

16 more (working) days. 

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:641542c7-e148-439b-9554-deb8b8137b8d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : 16 more (working) days. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

I will mark my calendar.  Don't worry, confetti has already been purchased.

MattsPenguin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:cc4e7ff5-9bca-42c0-b15b-8043a2bafe50">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]No.  You just kick them.  Delivers the same message, but with less postage. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

rebarobert2012

Anyone invited to the reception should also be invited to the wedding ceremony.  Inviting them only to the reception is like telling them they are not good enough to actually see you get married.

2010Bride2be

Oh Becky....Please be real on this slow Friday afternoon.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:cc4e7ff5-9bca-42c0-b15b-8043a2bafe50">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]No.  You just kick them.  Delivers the same message, but with less postage. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

And this is why I miss Mel a lot.

kinsey0628

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:6b01e130-4f05-45f0-a88c-70c92a184333">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]THE ONLY EXCEPTION being if the ceremony is immediate family only (parents, siblings, grandparents).
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

Is that an acceptable exception?  I didn't think so....  ??

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:86ea71e4-4ee5-4fb0-8598-4b9bf706e85e">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Is that an acceptable exception?  I didn't think so....  ??
Posted by kinsey0628[/QUOTE]

Um, yes it is.  A private ceremony with immediate family ONLY is acceptable.  Not saying that as a guest I wouldn't be upset, but you are not breaking any etiquette in doing that option.

froggatt.clare

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:86ea71e4-4ee5-4fb0-8598-4b9bf706e85e">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Is that an acceptable exception?  I didn't think so....  ??
Posted by kinsey0628[/QUOTE]

I think so, because that is a truly private ceremony.  I think that sort of thing is generally accepted.  If it is opened to friends or other family members, that is when it gets sticky.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:86ea71e4-4ee5-4fb0-8598-4b9bf706e85e">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Is that an acceptable exception?  I didn't think so....  ??
Posted by kinsey0628[/QUOTE]

It's etiquettely acceptable.  Some people still don't like it.  But you're okay having a private ceremony and a big reception if the ceremony is truly private (aka immediate family only)

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:cc4e7ff5-9bca-42c0-b15b-8043a2bafe50">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]No.  You just kick them.  Delivers the same message, but with less postage. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]
I actually LOL-ed to that!

kinsey0628

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:0e8fa094-b1a3-439d-a4fa-db2a07ba26f0">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Um, yes it is.  A private ceremony with immediate family ONLY is acceptable.  Not saying that as a guest I wouldn't be upset, but you are not breaking any etiquette in doing that option.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

Uhmm, ok.

I didn't realize.  From all the posts I've read on here, I thought the consensus was you HAVE to invite eveyone to both, *no* exceptions.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:cc4e7ff5-9bca-42c0-b15b-8043a2bafe50">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]No.  You just kick them.  Delivers the same message, but with less postage. 
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

This made me giggle.

OP, you cannot have a tiered wedding (read as: RUDE!)...you are not the Queen of England.

HannahK15

Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help!
I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also.

I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance.

Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!

strlzfan11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:72368fcb-4f3e-4cc9-9f28-468ae89947f9">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Uhmm, ok. I didn't realize.  From all the posts I've read on here, I thought the consensus was you HAVE to invite eveyone to both, *no* exceptions.
Posted by kinsey0628[/QUOTE]

If the ceremony is truly only immediate family (just parents, siblings, and maybe grandparents) it's technically ok from an etiquette, but I personally don't encourage it.

strlzfan11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

Just because something is common in certain areas doesn't mean it is etiquettely-acceptable.  When you post on a board about etiquette you are going to get answers that fall in line with etiquette.  What the OP is wanting to do goes against etiquette.

The Mel and Todd Show

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

Hi.  You're completely wrong.  Congratulations! 

vsgal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

Gee, that's funny.  I have been to two weddings in WI and never, have I ever, heard of the state adopting a reception-only invite. 

Your answer is far from great unless you classify it as greatly poor advice.  You must invite all people to all portions of the wedding day.  The only exception is if you have a small ceremony that only includes immediate family.  No friends, no aunts, uncles or cousins. 

You need to understand the difference between a custom and etiquette. What you are proprosing is bad etiquette.  It is rude to your guests.  You are letting your guests know that they are good enough to give you a gift, but not important enough to witness anything or feed them.  Tacky, tacky, tacky.  Just because your friends are tacky and rude doesn't mean you should continue the behavior.  If I got a dance-only invite from you, I guarantee that would be the last communication we would have.

daria24

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:11a97f42-2f55-4f91-a28e-e38d5bd3808d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Only Invites : Cindy??
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>I just laughed so hard I shot Pirate Booty out of my mouth.</div>

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

Don't generalize the state please.  it might be more of a social circle thing, but it's not a WI thing.  I've never ever been invited to a tiered reception.  FSIL almost did it but then changed her mind at last minute before the invites went out.

redheadfsu

HannahK15,

While it might be common in your circle, it is still not correct. It might be your norm, but people will still judge it. Judge it hard, because it is just a gift grab. You don't want to pay for someone's meal, but you want them to give you a gift. Just have a party after the wedding, unrelated to the wedding & dance with them then. 

You can still do it, but just know that people will judge you (maybe to your face or maybe behind your back). Maybe not the people in your circle, but anyone outside of your little circle will secretly think 'Wow, that is tacky!'

littleluckypenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]



Horrible, Horrible advice.

chrmun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-only-invites-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba6e6744-d3be-4a8e-baf0-e599cca8c6d2Post:4185fa4c-21a4-4700-990b-0ef8379f683d">Re: Reception Only Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Since no one seems to be giving you a great answer I will help! I know in WI this is VERY COMMON! If you mean that you are only inviting people to the dance portion then I would not send a STD. If you mean inviting people to the dinner and dance then they should also be invited to the ceremony and they should get a STD. I know inviting people to just the dance portion is very common in this area. I am doing it also. I am not doing STD but I have 2 guest lists, one is people who are invited to everything and one is people who are invited to just the dance. Other posters, remember not every area is the same and there are some different customs. In this area it is very common to only get invited to the dance. I have been many times and never been offended!!
Posted by HannahK15[/QUOTE]

Wow, that was a great answer. 

Did you know that most school desks have boogers under them?  You know what that means?  That means that picking your nose and wiping the boogers under the desk is VERY COMMON.  (Yet, stilll incredibly rude.)

Habs2Hart

Mel and Edie - I you guys so hard right now. 

froggatt.clare

Mel, Edie, Charmin - thank you for making my Friday afternoon just a little bit better.