Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest List

HELP!!! My FH and I are trying to have a budget wedding, and we were sticker shocked when we estimated the dinner costs. We discussed DW, eloping, ect..and I still want to have the wedding we were planning, but are now considering cutting the guest list...A LOT!   Im OK cutting the list to immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) I want to invite jusst a few close second cousins, but fear I will be offending people that I dont invite.
What is the proper ettiquette, and what have others done to save the family fighting and hurt feelings ?

Re: Guest List

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-list-36?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:baa84bd9-bb66-4b7b-a8a8-9b56ec9a8823Post:8e640335-d271-468d-a8f9-7ece26defd1c">Guest List</a>:
    [QUOTE]HELP!!! My FH and I are trying to have a budget wedding, and we were sticker shocked when we estimated the dinner costs. We discussed DW, eloping, ect..and I still want to have the wedding we were planning, but are now considering cutting the guest list...A LOT!   Im OK cutting the list to immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) I want to invite jusst a few close second cousins, but fear I will be offending people that I dont invite. What is the proper ettiquette, and what have others done to save the family fighting and hurt feelings ?
    Posted by SKMiller85[/QUOTE]


    Have any of these guests already been invited via STD or word of mouth?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • This kind of question is hard to answer for other people. I have no idea what will or will not cause drama and hurt feelings in you family, only you do. I think a good rule of thumb is to invite who you actually want to be there. If that involves one second cousin who you are close to and not the others so be it.
  • I agree with anna.  I'm pretty close with a few of my second cousins so they are invited.  FI barely knows his second cousins so they are not on the list, and I doubt it will cause much drama.
    Photobucket
  • Every family is different.  Only you know how your family will react if some second cousins were invited while others were not.

    Good luck!  I know it's not easy cutting down a guest list.
  • For my family, that was a no-brainer cut to make.  I haven't seen any of my second cousins or great aunt since my last wedding.

    Every family is different.  If I wanted to invite one second cousin and none of the others, no one would likely notice or care.  They might ask Mandy to take a few pictures for them. But in other families, that would start WWIII. 
  • edited January 2012
    like everyone else is saying it depends on the family and what you want. my fiance's coworkers all want to be invited and in our wedding and we've discussed the same sort of stuff. who exactly do want and not want to invite to our November wedding. It's totally up to you and your fiance. ask your parents to weigh in if you'd like since they can add some supprortive and good advice on the subject, they have been through this before... good luck and have a wonderful day and life together!!
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