Inviting a friend I cant stand!

JJLeon210

My fiance is planning to invite a girl he's friends with whom I cannot stand. She is a B and has been rude to me every time we've ever been in the same room together, which isnt often because they NEVER hang out. I wouldnt even say they're friends anymore...they never hang out and never talk. I dont even know why he is inviting her. Is it rude of me to ask him not to?

aMrsin09

Instead of asking him to not invite her, have you asked him why it's important that he does invite her?
His answer to that may answer your original question.

mkrupar

I don't know why your FI would be friends with someone that is rude to you. It is his wedding too. You all need to find a way to compromise on this. If she's someone he really really wants there, you should let him. You probably won't even notice her.

ETA: and ditto aMrs. Why does he want this girl there?

Summer2011Bride

I agree with PP. Ask him WHY he feels she needs to be there/he wants her to be there. If he is doing it out of some weird obligation (he was invited to hers, feels like he should, etc.) explain he doesn't HAVE to invite everyone to his wedding just b/c he went to theirs or that there is no need to invite every acquaintance he's ever spoken to.

But if he is closer to her than you think or for some reason it's really important she be there, I might concede. I would respectfully tell him the things she has said to you in the past and why this makes you angry/hurt/uncomfortable and he may change his mind. Worst case scenario: she DOES come but you probably won't even see her or speak to her that much that day, maybe only once if she congratulations you/while you see her in the receiving line or however you make the rounds. It would be pretty easy to avoid her if you wanted.

[Deleted User]

I agree with pp's. And if your FI still decides to go ahead and invite her, then you need to make him aware of the way she has treated you. If needed, he needs to have a talk with her and tell her it is not acceptable and she will not talk and treat you that way.

neelynicole

Ditto PPs.

I've got a similar situation. FI has a long-time female friend that I can't stand. She's rude to me, and I would prefer her to not be invited at all. Luckily, she lives a few hours away so I rarely ever deal with her.

However, when it comes time to narrow down our guest list, he and I will talk about her and the possible invite. If he really wants her there, we'll invite her (and I'll try to just ignore her).

Bottom line is, talk with your FI about how he feels and how you feel about this woman and try to come to a compromise.

squirrly

You need to resolve why your FI has a close friend who is rude to you.  Figure that out, and the invitation situation will resolve itself.