Toasts...and not that kind.

crfische

FUNNY ONES. I wanna hear 'em.

I'll start:

Here's to Eve, mother of all races --  wore her fig leaves in all the right places.

Here's to Adam, father of us all -- Johnny on the spot when the fig leaves fall.

** Unless this is just something we do up here yonder. Then just...ya know. Ignore this.

salt78

I like honey wheat toast.

crfische

Salt. Will you please learn how to play the game? Don't come flouncing in here with your non blurry sig pic and be all smart ass with me, k?

mags0607

I have never heard that one before.

pooh8402

Here's to you and here's to me,
The best of friends we'll ever be.
But if we should ever disagree,
Then F&@% you and here's to me!

an oldie but a goodie. and the only one I know that I deem acceptable for writing in public.

baystateapple

When I was in college my girlfriends and I used to say:

Here's to you and here's to me.
Best of friends we'll ever be.
But if by chance we disagree,
fuuck you and here's to me!

Kristin&eric

Heres to the men we love
Heres to the men that love us
If the men we love to love us
the F*ck them all and Cheers to us!!!

baystateapple

Awww pooh beat me to it!

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toastsand-not-kind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bb98f0b4-525a-494d-bb9b-063435e808ebPost:3bc38ba6-76c5-42b9-b7e1-a27be4908edb">Re: Toasts...and not that kind.</a>:
[QUOTE]Salt. Will you please learn how to play the game? Don't come flouncing in here with your non blurry sig pic and be all smart ass with me, k?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

DED.

mags0607

So, I have no idea about toasts, but asked Fi, and this is what I got

“Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a damn sight more sincere.”

crfische

What'd we eat for breakfast?

Crowd: LEFSE, LEFSE!

Gonna beat Hamline (or interchange any other MIAC team here)?

Crowd: YAH, SHUR YOU BETCHA!

What are we drinkin?

Crowd: ITS BEEEEER ITS BEEEEEER

Which makes Hamline what?

Crowd: Full of mother fucking fear!

crfische

BAH! I love these. **puts them in my special drinking diary**

ast.meghan

Here's one that's popular in my group:

Here's to the girls in the wooden shoes,

We like our men, we love our booze.

We ain't virgins, that's no sin,

We still have the boxes out cherries came in!

LesPaul

From the Captain of the boat on 'Jaws'
Here's to swimmin
with bow-legged women

kellyjellybelly

May your glass be ever full,

May the roof over your head be ever strong.

And may you be in heaven

Half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

smokeybailey

Here's to (Name),

he's a horse's ass.

Why was he born so pitiful?

Why was he born at all?

He's no fucking good to anyone,

he's no fucking good at all!

(chorus)

Sooo... drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.

drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink.

Note that you actually sing this.

crfische

Friends may come,
And friends may go,
And friends may peeter out, ya know...
But we'll be friends through thick or thin,
Peter out or peter in.

lisarose7

All I have is my usual toast with my girlfriends: Here's to getting laid well and often.

krissydawn16

Our best man uses the "she's still got the box that the cherry came in" and "here's to you and here's to me"... he also uses "here's to honor... if you can't come in her come on her."

btrflykate1230

My BF in college and I would toast to this when taking shots:

Here's to you, and here's to me
now let's get fuucked, in one, two three!

And then we'd take a shot.

Another friend of mine and I would sing this before taking a shot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HrSN7176XI

jessjo04

My one female friend always said "T*ts, cl*ts and baseball mitts, may we always have one in our hand"

ootmother2

"Here's to you.

Here's to me.

Here's to each and every effing little thing.

But if your little thing ever needs anything.

Remember my little thing isn't doing anythng"


*from  the 70s

mandapanda78

I've always liked "May you live to be 101 and die in bed, shot by a jealous lover"