Everybody wants you!

ohwhynot

Fi has a lot of old college friends flying in for the wedding.  He's getting quite a few emails asking what the 'agenda' for the weekend is, when can he meet up with people, etc.  I know he feels like he wants to be as accommodating as possible and that he really would like to reconnect with these folks, but honestly . . . we're gonna be kind of busy the day before the wedding.  We have a few people to pick up from the airport, we have the children to take care of, we have flowers to pick up, and if we're lucky, we'll have some hall decorating to do (if we're unlucky, we'll be decorating the hall Saturday morning).  We have the rehearsal (very short) and a dinner planned for Friday evening (early), then he plans to meet up with anyone who wants to come at a local bar.  

Fortunately (imo), fi doesn't drink, so he won't be getting drunk the night before, but I am a little worried that he'll stay out later than is wise - I can't sleep until he's home.  I realize how control freakish that sounds, but it is something that is worrying me a bit.  Should I just kick myself in the butt and remind myself that he is entitled to have a good time with his buddies the night before the wedding? 

At the wedding itself, we're having about 110 guests; there will be 15 tables for the ceremony/dinner.  I'm worried about making sure we get to each and every table to chat, that we dance with everyone who wants to dance with us, and that nobody feels like they came all this way and didn't even get to spend time with us.  For you old married hags, was this a problem at your wedding? 

The day after, we're not doing much.  We're meeting up for brunch with some of Mark's family at their hotel, but we're not hosting anything (we're tapped out $$-wise).  Most of the other guests are leavng Sunday and I don't think they expect to get together then, although I suppose we're open to suggestions for get-togethers.  I suspect we'll want some decompressing by then, though.  Were you guys ready & willing to do more socializing the day after, or did you just crave some solitude and quiet?

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_everybody-wants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bbb4bbe1-96c6-42ef-b34f-1d709dff5144Post:d78160ba-0a85-4e52-9622-79c24b720bd1">Everybody wants you!</a>:
[QUOTE]Fi has a lot of old college friends flying in for the wedding.  He's getting quite a few emails asking what the 'agenda' for the weekend is, when can he meet up with people, etc.  I know he feels like he wants to be as accommodating as possible and that he really would like to reconnect with these folks, but honestly . . . we're gonna be kind of busy the day before the wedding.  We have a few people to pick up from the airport, we have the children to take care of, we have flowers to pick up, and if we're lucky, we'll have some hall decorating to do (if we're unlucky, we'll be decorating the hall Saturday morning).  We have the rehearsal (very short) and a dinner planned for Friday evening (early), then he plans to meet up with anyone who wants to come at a local bar.   Fortunately (imo), fi doesn't drink, so he won't be getting drunk the night before, but I am a little worried that he'll stay out later than is wise - I can't sleep until he's home.  I realize how control freakish that sounds, but it is something that is worrying me a bit.  Should I just kick myself in the butt and remind myself that he is entitled to have a good time with his buddies the night before the wedding? 
<strong>Yeah, I probably would.  Can you have some girlfriends over to hang out with instead?  After the RD, we all went to a bar together, but I shared a room with my sister and went to bed early while DH stayed at the bar with his friends.  He doesn't get to see them much, so I didn't want to interfere with that.</strong>

At the wedding itself, we're having about 110 guests; there will be 15 tables for the ceremony/dinner.  I'm worried about making sure we get to each and every table to chat, that we dance with everyone who wants to dance with us, and that nobody feels like they came all this way and didn't even get to spend time with us.  For you old married hags, was this a problem at your wedding? 
<strong>Nobody complained to us, but we had trouble getting around to all the tables because our reception venue was pushy about getting the cake cut earlier than we wanted, and there was a miscommunication with the DJ that resulted in dancing starting earlier than we'd wanted, too.  We had about 100 people, and even though we didn't get to do 'official' table visits with everyone, we did get plenty of time to talk with every guest there.  We're not dancers, so dancing with people wasn't really an issue for us.</strong>

The day after, we're not doing much.  We're meeting up for brunch with some of Mark's family at their hotel, but we're not hosting anything (we're tapped out $$-wise).  Most of the other guests are leavng Sunday and I don't think they expect to get together then, although I suppose we're open to suggestions for get-togethers.  I suspect we'll want some decompressing by then, though.  Were you guys ready & willing to do more socializing the day after, or did you just crave some solitude and quiet?
<strong>
A little of both.  We didn't schedule a brunch because we knew we'd want to sleep in and decompress and have 'us' time.  But we had lunch with my family, and dinner with his, and it was fun to rehash the wedding after we'd slept and refreshed ourselves enough.
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Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

danieliza1127

My advice: Meeting up with friends after the rehearsal dinner is a great idea.  Don't worry about him staying out late on Friday night, he might and that's okay.  Take something to help you sleep, even just a Tylenol PM, because whether he is home or not, you'll be too amped up to sleep. 

On the wedding day, don't worry about getting to each table and dancing with each person, etc.  It will flow naturally.  Try to visit tables or do a receiving line, enjoy yourselves and your guests will come to you as well.  Go with the flow and enjoy your party, it flies by too fast!

The day after the wedding, we had a party at my parent's house.  I would keep your options open to meeting up with people who might want to get together for lunch or something.  It doesn't mean you have to pay and I'm sure they wouldn't expect you to.

arbolita

We had 125 guests at our wedding, and we actually did miss out on greeting one of our tables before they had us do the parent dances because after we were served dinner, we kept thinking our DOC would come and tell us when to start going to tables, and that never happened.  So as long as you have someone giving you a signal about when to start going to tables, and metnally keep track of how much time you are spending at each, you should be fine.  As far as the dancing with everyone, we just spent the majority of the second half of our reception on the dance floor, so people knew where we were and could join us if they wanted.  If I saw a guest that I hadn't really spent any time with, I did try to make my way over to them, but the truth is the day goes by quickly, and there will be some people you don't get to see as much as you'd like. But generally they understand why that happens and don't take it personally.


We actually went to the Renaissance Festival the day after, and we each had some friends (who were at the wedding the day before) who were also planning on going, so we spent some time together, and some time with all of them.  It was a lot of fun.

Jelenny

we are running into the same thing

BUT the Fi is going to give his friends some places to check out since we are getting married in Green Bay - if the friends are in town thurs night/early fri i suggested he get a tour set up of Lambeau - unique, guy time - and hopefully i will be with the girls hanging out and doing last min things before the RD

Kristin&eric

We are having a lot of OOT guest so we are going to have a bridal luncheon that friday, the RD later on and then meeting at a bar for all the guest so we can spend some time with them. Then  that night  my sister(MOH) is renting a suit for all of us girls to stay in the that night, not required but all the girls said yes!. then sat have the wedding and then the next day have ppl meet up for brunch. unfortunatly bc of our honeymoon plans we got to leave early that morning so we wont see them, but i am sure PPL will be happy to see eachother and spend time with them.  I understand that your FI wants to see and spend time with ppl. just give him a lil reminder not to stay out to late, but really guys dont do much the day of the wedding so i am sure he will be ok out late!