Should children of WP be invited to child-free wedding?

jcandjd

We do not want children at our wedding, other than the flower girl and ring bearer (their mothers are also in the WP).  I have no problem telling people that it is an adults-only event, but one groomsman and his wife have two young children (2 and 4, I think) and will be coming to New England from Virginia.  

Should children of the WP be invited or is it okay to restrict it to the flower girl & ring bearer?

I should also point out that we also live in a different state than where the wedding will be, and don't know anyone who lives in that area, so we cannot recommend baby-sitters or anything.

Thank you!!!

sep72fendr

Whatever your guidelines for your wedding are. Stick to it. If you want it to be kids free other thank the flower girl and ring bearer, so be it. If they RSVP with more than on the invite, call them and explain that you have 2 spots reserver for them in their name and hope that they are still able to make it.

qwerty777

I agree with Sep. If you allow their children as well, other guests may wonder whey their kids weren't invited. Stick with the FG and RB only.

Meagan78

I tried to stick to it but one BM self-invited her teenage daughter to the wedding.  Ugh.  Felt like simply because she is in WP and paying plenty to stand up for me, I couldn't really say anything.

MeganAngela

It is you and your FI's wedding day.  If you choose to have a child-free wedding, that is up to you and you should stick to your guns on it.  Understandably, there may be some people who would decline to come solely because they can't bring their children, and that is okay.  However, if you start making exceptions for one person, you'll have other people wanting that exception made for them as well.

If you wanted to compromise, and not that you do, I'm just putting this out there, you could say that instead of it being "child-free" that you have a minimum age requirement, and any children under a certain age are not allowed.  That is what I am doing.  I am asking that children under 10 be left at home because the FI and I don't want small, screaming children at our wedding.  However, we do want to allow for my younger cousins and siblings to attend, so calling the wedding "child-free" would be a misnomer.

Anywho, stick to your guns.  This is one of those things that you don't have to budge on if you don't want to.  If you don't want kids at the wedding, don't have them.  Simple as that.  Guests should respect those wishes, at least IMO.

kebmtm071605

Do your GM & his wife have anyone they can leave the children with at home?  If not, then I think you need to make an exception for them.  If you don't allow his children and they have no one to watch them, then I don't think there is any option but for him not to attend.

We are in a similar situation with an upcoming wedding.  Typically, my parents watch our kids when we go out of town for a wedding.  This particular wedding we are attending falls on a holiday weekend though.  My parents are already committed to another OOT wedding that weekend, and everyone else we would leave our kids with overnight has plans for the holiday weekend and  are unable to watch our kids.  I now am going to the wedding by myself, and DH is staying with the kids.  It really kinda sucks, but she is a super close friend, and the drive is under 2 hours.  So...not terrible...but definitely not ideal.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-children-of-wp-invited-child-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bca58559-b997-4de6-a062-8d9b14bfdbe0Post:34425ad5-3a1e-45ca-89d5-e1788593e63c">Re: Should children of WP be invited to child-free wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Do your GM & his wife have anyone they can leave the children with at home?  If not, then I think you need to make an exception for them.  If you don't allow his children and they have no one to watch them, then I don't think there is any option but for him not to attend.</strong> We are in a similar situation with an upcoming wedding.  Typically, my parents watch our kids when we go out of town for a wedding.  This particular wedding we are attending falls on a holiday weekend though.  My parents are already committed to another OOT wedding that weekend, and everyone else we would leave our kids with overnight has plans for the holiday weekend and  are unable to watch our kids.  I now am going to the wedding by myself, and DH is staying with the kids.  It really kinda sucks, but she is a super close friend, and the drive is under 2 hours.  So...not terrible...but definitely not ideal.
Posted by kebmtm071605[/QUOTE]

THis was my first question when reading your post.  While I agree that you should stick to your guns about this, a OOT member of the WP and his wife who would not be able to attend because of the rule are a definite exception.