joint bridal shower

mrswilliford

My sister and I are getting married one month apart,and we want to have a joint bridal shower.  How do we send out invites without the guests feeling like they need to buy both of us a gift?

lisarose7

You don't.  Someone else will offer to throw you both a shower and if they don't you won't have one.

Andplusalso, the whole point of the shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts.  When one receives a shower invitation, one understands they are expected to bring a gift.

NOLAbridealmost

I don't really think what you are suggesting is possible to do in a joint shower situation. If you insist on going "joint," I'd confer with the host of your shower and the host of your sister's shower to make sure that all invited guests are invited to both weddings. Then you can each get a gift from each guest and not feel like you were tacky about it.  Good luck! 

bellebride116

You aren't supposed to throw your own shower. If no one throws you one, you don't have one.

mrswilliford

It will be given by our other sister. I know you don't throw your own shower. Poor choice of words on my part. We are trying to make it easy on her and everyone else.

lisarose7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_joint-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be6b7ca8-abc7-46f2-8f47-ec8b1fb6a3b1Post:dfaad1ee-a875-41fc-bea2-0d53f756a7de">Re: joint bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]It will be given by our other sister. I know you don't throw your own shower. Poor choice of words on my part. We are trying to make it easy on her and everyone else.
Posted by mrswilliford[/QUOTE]

Understood.  In that case, it's hard to invite people to a "shower" and not expect them to bring gifts for all the honorees.  Maybe instead of calling it a shower she could refer to it as a "girls' lunch" or something so that gift-giving won't be implied...and make sure she doesn't include registry information.

lmg1115

I think its nice of you to consolidate - yes, as "fun" as showers are, i know that if i had a bunch of cousins getting married right around the same time i'd appreciate my time not being monopolized by multiple showers for each of them (given they were sisters, as in your situation.

I'd have 3 invitations made...

- one with both your names (this one is for family and guests that will be invited to both your weddings)

- one with just your name (for your friends & the family & friends from your grooms side, if they will be invited to this shower)

- one with your sisters name (for her friends and the family and friends for her grooms side)

kgorman307

I think this is tricky. I understand why your sister would want to host a joint shower - but inviting both fiancee's families, different sets of friends, etc. could get really tough logistically. Also, if I knew it was a joint shower, but didn't know the other bride I would feel so awkward and feel obligated to bring a gift for her too.

I like the advice of calling it a "luncheon" and not expecting gifts. But, I would probably opt to do separate showers and keep them budget-conscious and then do a joint bachelorette party.

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_joint-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be6b7ca8-abc7-46f2-8f47-ec8b1fb6a3b1Post:ed2a107f-29fb-46ce-91eb-ddb58987966b">Re: joint bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I think its nice of you to consolidate - yes, as "fun" as showers are, i know that if i had a bunch of cousins getting married right around the same time i'd appreciate my time not being monopolized by multiple showers for each of them (given they were sisters, as in your situation. I'd have 3 invitations made... - one with both your names (this one is for family and guests that will be invited to both your weddings) - one with just your name (for your friends & the family & friends from your grooms side, if they will be invited to this shower) - one with your sisters name (for her friends and the family and friends for her grooms side)
Posted by lmg1115[/QUOTE]

This.

Pegleg715

My sister and I are also getting married a month apart, and our cousin (who is a bridesmaid in each wedding) is throwing us a shower. She did the 3 invites suggestion.
1 for people that are invited to both, with both our names on it.
1 for people invited only to mine
and 1 for people invited only to hers

with so many people being invited ot both our weddings we thought it kind of horrible to ask them to come to 2 showers in such a short period of time.

July2012bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_joint-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be6b7ca8-abc7-46f2-8f47-ec8b1fb6a3b1Post:764a4941-3d6b-45e4-a9d6-31a83548b508">Re: joint bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister and I are also getting married a month apart, and our cousin (who is a bridesmaid in each wedding) is throwing us a shower. She did the 3 invites suggestion. 1 for people that are invited to both, with both our names on it. 1 for people invited only to mine and 1 for people invited only to hers with so many people being invited ot both our weddings we thought it kind of horrible to ask them to come to 2 showers in such a short period of time.
Posted by Pegleg715[/QUOTE]
I understand the logic behind this, but as a guest, I think it could be a bit awkward for those that are not invited to both weddings, especially if they don't know coming into the shower that it is a joint shower.  Imagine you show up to a shower with one gift but there is another honoree you didn't even know about and others at the party are giving gifts to both ladies.  I would probably feel bad I didn't bring another gift, but that's just my opinion.