FI's best man's gf is my ex-best friend - eek!

nmcarthur

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nicole loves chris

Yes, you need to invite both of them, or be prepared to have the best man bow out... whether it's of his own accord or her making him, since she's "got him locked in a cage". Who knows if she even wants to go! She may decline the invitation even if he's going. Regardless, you send the invite to the two of them. How would you feel if someone sent an invitation to your FI and not you?

And, what BM duties will your FI's friend be "tied up" doing ALL night? Is he going to be waiting hand and foot on your FI? Bartending? Cleaning up after people? No, probably not. He'll stand up at the ceremony, possibly say a speech, and that's about it.

I think you need to be the bigger person here. If you think she's going to cause drama, have someone keep an eye on her. I'm sure her FI will help keep her in line as well. Unless your wedding is going to be a small intimate affair, you'll hardly notice her there. And if you do, I'm sure you'll be too happy celebrating your marriage to let it get to you.

JenGin74

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fis-mans-gf-ex-friend-eek?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:becc6037-34c7-4138-baea-b5b3f942e9c2Post:e1afabce-3e48-4fbd-9bb4-f88ccc06f7c0">FI's best man's gf is my ex-best friend - eek!</a>:
[QUOTE]Long story short - my fiance's best man, is dating my ex-best friend. Catty immature drama occurred years ago in college and we haven't spoken and left it on nasty terms. The guys are still buds and chat (only occasionally as I swear the girl keeps him locked in a cage) but they are best friends since they were kids.  Do I have to invite her to the wedding? She will not know anybody in attendance, and her man will be tied up with best man duties all night. Not to mention, call it pathetic, but I just don't want her there on MY day.  FI is impartial and says it is up to me - but to understand if I don't invite her, he will be going to their forthcoming wedding solo - which I'm fine with.  Thoughts are welcomed, merci beaucoup. 
Posted by nmcarthur[/QUOTE]

Ditto Nicole. Also, you'll be so busy with other things that you won't even notice she's there.

AdeleDazeem

Yeah... you need to invite her.

And, really?  Drama from college that was "years ago"? 

Let. it. go.  Presumably you all have grown up since then.  It's not the best look to carry around the drama of our teenage selves into adulthood.

arv266

Let me put it this way.... how would you feel if it were the other way around, and it was you who was sitting at home. alone. while your FI was the BM at someone else's wedding.... and the bride happened to not invite you? 

I know for SURE that my FI would back out being a BM if I were not invited. 

Not inviting her sends a clear message, and only adds more drama to the drama pot.  Thinking of your wedding day as YOUR day is fine, as it is a special day; but creating the expectation that everything has to be wonderful, perfect, and exactly how you envision it, is just not a good place to go. 

Be the bigger, more mature, less dramatic person, and invite her.

Ashes_3

When you send him an invite, it will say guest and he will bring her. I think that this is still catty and immature. Get over it if it happened 'years ago'. It is a day about you and your FI but you have to think about the people coming to celebrate that day with you. You woudln't want someone not to invite you  because of drama from college.

FutureMrsTR

There was a post just yesterday very similar to this:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-potential-sister-lawex-friend-1

It probably has some good advice in it.

redheadfsu

yes, you have to invite her. She is his SO, you would look very petty & rude if you didn't send one.