Disappointed...

jennifer21011

and wondering if anyone has ever experienced this/had this happen to them.

As a tad back story here, my aunt and sister were planning my shower for my sister and I who was getting married shortly after me but my sister has decided to postpone her wedding until next year so the shower was in turn going to be just for me.  She wasn't "kicked out" of the shower since her wedding was postponed, she made this decision on her own.  And then a fight exploded in my family and my aunt stepped down as planning the shower due to the fight.  Now she says she won't be at the shower which makes me sad but that is her choice. 

Apparently/maybe she will be one of many who do not come and this isn't even due to the fight going on in my family.  Out of the 26 invitations/36 people I had on my invite list, 5 people (3 invitations - my grandma, my FI's mom and my MOH and her two daughters) have RSVP'ed to my sister who sent out the invitations and it has been at least 2 weeks since the invitations have gone out.  Besides the aforementioned people, my mom will be there (she doesn't really need to RSVP since the shower is at her place), and my two sisters who are throwing the shower.  That is 8 people.  I just find this so disappointing and rude not to RSVP.  I always RSVP to invitations, whether I can or cannot attend, even if it is clearly obvious that I will not be able to attend like to my cousin's baby shower that I was recently invited to.

Has anyone experienced this with their shower?  Not have many people RSVP?  If so, did you have more people attend than RSVP'ed?

Maggie0829

When is your shower supposed to be held?

If it isn't for awhile it makes sense that people haven't RSVP'd yet.  If it is this weekend, then I think your sister (or whoever is hosting it) should give the invitees a call to see if they are coming or not.  Some people just don't RSVP to pre-wedding parties (even though it is rude) especially if the party is being held at someone's home instead of a restaurant where a head count is necessary.

If only a few individuals can come to your party, do not be upset, but enjoy the company of the few who came.

midgetthemighty

Well one of my showers was RSVP regrets only. There were still people who never called and didn't show up. Is this the case for you?

Meegles4

When is the shower? Is it possible people are just waiting until the last minute?

When my shower invitations went out, several people told me they couldn't make it right away. It was definitely disappointing. It sounds like you have some family drama going on behind the scenes that could be contributing too. That's too bad, but I'd just try to suck it up and enjoy the people who ARE coming.

brilibby4

For some reason, VERY few people RSVPed to my shower even though most of them ended up coming.  I think with something smaller like a shower sometimes people don't realise its important to RSVP.  I'm sorry you are disappointed and I hope more people come!

pkontk

I agree with PPs, if the shower isn't this weekend then you still have time.  Has someone tried to chase down the non-responders?

SparrowSong

People in general are HORRIBLE about rsvp'ing. It's just one of the symptoms of our society being selfish and less caring these days. Being polite about etiquette is seen as unimportant, and people want to wait until the last possible second to commit in case something better comes up.

Sometimes I almost wonder if invitations are even worth the trouble. Might as well just phone every person in the first place with details and ask them if they plan to come, since that's what you always have to do anyway to get an accurate head count.

specialk84

Out of the 20 people invited to my shower, two (other than my mom and the two hostesses) RSVPed. About 14 actually showed up.

whitsy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disappointed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf4b04e2-dc2f-428f-bef6-cdfc3742b6daPost:5bc5115a-cb8b-408e-9a14-4e201d9206f3">Re: Disappointed...</a>:
[QUOTE]For some reason, VERY few people RSVPed to my shower even though most of them ended up coming.  I think with something smaller like a shower sometimes people don't realise its important to RSVP.  I'm sorry you are disappointed and I hope more people come!
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

<div>This was me for one of my showers. try not to fret. I know it's disappointing but it's better to try to move on and be excited for the shower.</div>

ZombieNates

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_disappointed-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf4b04e2-dc2f-428f-bef6-cdfc3742b6daPost:4f139c33-4cb8-4db1-a567-19d8a1d928e2">Re: Disappointed...</a>:
[QUOTE]My shower had an invite list of 30ish people.  10 came, and we had a wonderful time.  Yes, it's sort of a bummer, but in all honestly I think smaller showers are way more fun anyway, so just focus on the people who WILL be there and enjoy!
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
This was exactly my case and we also had a wonderful time. No one was sick of seeing gifts opened and I was able to spend time with each and every guest, which was great.  Obviously you don't know who all is coming at this point, but don't be sad if it ends up being very small.

HockeyFan4

I know my shower hostess followed up on non rsvp'rs by phone (it was at a restuarant and they needed to know #s for food)....could your sister call the non rsvp'rs if it is close to the shower date, in order to get a better number

jennifer21011

The shower is next weekend, Saturday, July 7th.  We decided to have it that time because my sister lives in Wisconsin and that was the best time for her to come down as she is a children's pastor and it is hard for her to get  time off.  I believe as it is next weekend, she will call guests next week.  That is what my mom says as well.  I am not sure what the situation is with RSVPs, whether it is regrets only, etc, as I did not receive an invite as there is surprise(s) in the invitation they did not want me to see.  It is just disappointing but I am sure I will have a good time regardless.  Thanks everyone for the replies!