Sometimes, you just want to slap people.

JessAndTrav

So, there's this girl I know and I've known her since she was about 4.

She'll be 19 this year, and I would say that as far as maturity goes, she's quite under-developed.

She started talking to some guy a couple of years ago that lives nearly 10 hours from our town, and they've only met in person a small handful of times.

Now they're "engaged" and have been for a while, but she just used the word "fiancé" in her status on FB for the first time, which is making my skin crawl.

I just want to slap some sense into her and tell her to live her life.

When I was her age, I was just realizing that DH was the person I wanted to marry, but I never told anyone that. I knew I was too young.

Do other people feel this way? Drives me crazy.

LP11509

I can top that.

I have a cousin who, at age 18, was living with her boyfriend.  One day she and bf decided to go to the courthouse and get married.  Except they didn't tell her parents. 

One day, her mom was food shopping and some acquaintance of hers came up and congratulated her on her daugher's marriage.  Needless to say, my aunt was very confused. She confronted her daughter later that day and found out that she was in fact married 2 weeks prior.  She then found out that her daughter was also pregnant...though my cousin swears on her life that the marriage happened first.

Now, this cousin is 24.  She has 3 children with her husband, age 5, 3 and barely 2. She announced on FB recently that she and her husband have been separated for over a year (but not divorced yet) and she is pregnant with her new boyfriends baby.  She also got a diamond ring from the boyfriend for Christmas, but she says it's a promise ring, not an engagement ring.

Now, she's upset because her husband just started dating someone a few weeks ago and she thinks that he should wait until after the divorce is final to start dating.  Pot, meet kettle.

Gotta love my family.

aMrsin09

I can match that...

My cousin was married three times by the time she was 20.

1) She was 18, BF was 17 and they eloped while on a family vacation in Vegas.  Marriage was annulled three weeks later.
2) She was still 18, had a full on wedding this time.  Got pregnant, found out H was a drug dealer.  Ended in divorce when she was 20.
3) She finally got a job, met the UPS man at her office and they were married a month later.  This marriage also produced a child, but it lasted for about 15 years.  Ended in divorce a few years ago.

mocha beans

Yikes.  I got a story.

Friend of mine in high school.  Got pregnant in 9th grade, had twins.  Got parental permission to be married to the babies daddy at 16 or 17 I think, I kinda lost track of her when she dropped out of school.  Heard that she got divorced at 18, and was pregnant again with someone's kid at 18 also.

No way I can imagine being divorced with three kids at 18.

nda_roxybabe

Geez. Well, I just found out 2 girls that I know are pregnant..again. One is 19 and I believe the other is 18. They both got pregnant on accident the first time and didn't stay with the dads. Now they're both pregnant again and I don't think either of them are in a relationship. Neither of their babies are even 1 year old yet.

tlv204

Good lord you guys know some crazy people.

beatlesgirl25

These stories make me sad. I have a few more:

- In 7th grade, one of my classmates got engaged (with her parents' permission) to her much older, adult-aged bf. She got married in 8th grade at the age of 13 or 14 (I still don't even see how this was legal). By senior year, she had her first baby, which was actually kind of normal because she had been married for 4 years before becoming pregnant. Still, so icky because her husband was in his 30's by then.

- Another girl I knew in my class got pregnant freshman and sophomore year and had both babies. Then she got pregnant again senior year (different father), and walked with us at graduation a week before that kid was born. So 3 kids by the time she graduated high school, and she wasn't with any of the dads. I mean, good for her for getting her diploma, but I'm pretty sure that's been her life since then. She found me on Myspace a couple years ago and she was a single mom working and trying to get by. So sad, and dumb IMO.

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sometimes-just-want-slap-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfb03046-ff96-4812-9e9f-3bfaa79f90dcPost:096312a6-ad5e-4005-b853-6a8dc8352424">Re: Sometimes, you just want to slap people.</a>:
[QUOTE]These stories make me sad. I have a few more: - In 7th grade, one of my classmates got engaged (with her parents' permission) to her much older, adult-aged bf. She got married in 8th grade at the age of 13 or 14 (I still don't even see how this was legal). By senior year, she had her first baby, which was actually kind of normal because she had been married for 4 years before becoming pregnant. Still, so icky because her husband was in his 30's by then. -
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

This is the craziest/saddest/sickest thing I've heard in a long time.  I'm glad she waited
4 years, but being married in middle school??? Come on.

beatlesgirl25

Capri, I know. We were all so squicked out by it, especially in 7th grade when many of us still thought boys were lame and had cooties (well, maybe not cooties, but still lame). She brought in her wedding pictures and they were definitely like something you'd find on that awkward family photos website. Her dress was long sleeved, high collar, and very conservative (worse than the Duggar lady's dress on SYTTD), which made her look even more like a doll. I think there were some religious/cultish undertones in the family regarding this creepy marriage.

thesuninherhead

Uhh yeah, that would be highly illegal here. I'd imagine it would be illegal there now, too. Given that anyone younger than 16 yo cannot consent to sex, how on earth could they consent to being married? That is seriously rather messed up... and one has to wonder why her parents were allowing this man to be with their child... Very disturbing.

 

There was a girl at my HS who was pregnant in grade 7 (age 12). She had the baby at 13, then got pregnant at 15, had that baby, and by the time we were graduating (she dropped out at 15) she had another child. I feel sort of bad for her though, because clearly she had a very difficult upbringing and her mother had no clue whatsoever, but seriously... 3 babies to three different guys by the time you should be finishing highschool? Ridiculous. I'd be surprised if those kids were still with her now, though... actually, to reflect on it, her kids could theoretically have already had kids, if they're following in her footsteps. That's rather concerning in itself. 

 

 

aMrsin09

Beatles, there was a girl like that in my HS, but they waited until the 10th grade to marry her off.  They were Caldean and from what we learned, it was an arranged marriage.  They lived in the states until she graduated and then he took her back home.

beatlesgirl25

Sun, it was indeed a weird legal situation for her. I remember she was having trouble getting emancipated from her parents, and/or they just made the husband her legal guardian, which just makes me queasy all over. But it took awhile to get it all approved, which is why she had to "wait" until 8th grade to get married. This was in Colorado, by the way, and the legal age of sexual consent out there is 16 with a partner not more than 4 years older than you, then once you're 18 it doesn't matter. So this was still wrong and I don't know how it went through. Maybe the wedding wasn't a certified marriage and they did that later when she was of age?

amrs, that's interesting... I don't think she was Caldean, but then again I'm not entirely sure if that's a mobile culture so much as an area (my wikipedia skills are being lazy today), so I could have no idea. She was white, and her parents were white and lived in southern Colorado.