Timing for wedding ceremony

sarah0725

I'm going to have to pick a time for my wedding ceremony soon, so I thought I'd just run this by you guys.

My ceremony and reception sites are about fifteen minutes apart. Our reception is going to start at noon, so we need to decide whether to have our wedding ceremony at 10:30 or 11. Our ceremony will probably run about fifteen minutes, and then it will take everybody a little while to shuffle out of the elephant, since entrance/exit is by these two winding staircases in her legs, and we'll probably do a receiving line. Also, I'm considering doing a group picture with all of the guests at the ceremony site. One more thing to consider is that we may have a shuttle to bring guests between the ceremony and reception sites, since parking at Lucy is scanty. One more consideration is that it will be a Saturday in August on the Jersey shore, so traffic may be unpredictable, and there's a toll bridge to cross.

So what say you, ladies who dislike gaps? My extremely punctual brain is saying 10:30, but I'm not sure if that's because I'm crazy.

skippylouwho

I think having it at 11 would be cutting it close for a noon reception. I would choose 10:30 if it were me.

danieliza1127

Is it possible for the reception site to open at 11:30 so if people arrive early, they can get in?

It just seems like if you do the ceremony at 10:30, you're going to be finished early and then people will have 45 minutes with nothing to do but if you start at 11, you might feel a little rushed.

J&K10910

How long is your reception?  Will you have any sort of cocktail hour?  I think if you're doing a cocktail hour, 11 is good.  If people are a little late to that it won't be a big deal.  If you're just getting the party started right away, I'd do 1030, as long as people could get into the venue a little early if they needed to. 

Also, re: the receiving line.  How many guests will you have?  If you do the receiving line and have a decent amount of guests, you'll probably want to do 1030 just to allow time for that.

Juxtaposition00

10:30... Weddings start late... Why?  I don't know.  I have never heard of a wedding starting right when it is supposed to. 

sarah0725

We have 85 guests, and our reception is going to start with a cocktail hour. I don't know about them opening up the cocktail hour early, but the hotel does have a very nice lobby with lots of comfy places to sit (I've sat there many times waiting to meet with coordinators) and it's also right on the boardwalk, so there's that, not like many people would want to run around on the boardwalk in their wedding clothes.

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:05b8da17-aec9-47fa-ab3a-9d87e640e9f9">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it possible for the reception site to open at 11:30 so if people arrive early, they can get in? It just seems like if you do the ceremony at 10:30, you're going to be finished early and then people will have 45 minutes with nothing to do but if you start at 11, you might feel a little rushed.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

And also, this is pretty much how I feel - I don't think we need the entire extra half hour, but I think 11 is cutting it way too close.

danieliza1127

Oh so noon is the cocktail hour, not the reception?  In that case, I would do an 11am ceremony, cocktail hour at noon, reception at 1.  That way people can just move straight from one to the other and not have to linger if they don't want to.  Some people might skip the receiving line or just won't lollygag you know? 

J&K10910

I'd go with 1030 then.  I'd just feel better.  and it's not like a half hour is really a "gap".  I'm the most impatient person in the world and I can even wait a half hour, as long as there is somewhere cool (temp wise) for me to sit. 

nhelene

My site manager advised me to start at the earlier time because the wedding would inevitably start late.

I've been to a wedding where we had to wait around for 10 minutes because the reception hall wasn't ready yet... and it was pretty much forgotten as soon as the reception started.  But still, talk to them and make sure they'll let guests in if they arrive early.

danieliza1127

But J&K, it sounds like people would just end up sitting in their cars for 30-45 minutes waiting for the cocktail hour to open/start.  That would suck.

ETA: if you start at 11 and something does take a little longer, it's no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour.  Some guests will go ahead and go and those that get delayed will be there 12:10 or 12:15, no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour. 

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:fed52490-c570-4b97-92ef-57771287a897">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>But J&K, it sounds like people would just end up sitting in their cars for 30-45 minutes waiting for the cocktail hour to open/start.</strong>  That would suck. ETA: if you start at 11 and something does take a little longer, it's no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour.  Some guests will go ahead and go and those that get delayed will be there 12:10 or 12:15, no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour. 
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

She said there is a nice lobby with plenty of places to sit.  Honestly, that would be good enough for me.  I'd be wandering around talking to friends and people I hadn't seen in awhile anyway. 

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:0df28b08-05c5-48d6-80e7-891d31f45156">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Timing for wedding ceremony : She said there is a nice lobby with plenty of places to sit.  Honestly, that would be good enough for me.  I'd be wandering around talking to friends and people I hadn't seen in awhile anyway. 
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

My bad, I completely missed that!  Yeah that would be good enough for me too.

sarah0725

Ha, now I'm even more confused that I got each of you guys to change your minds.

And I hope people wouldn't sit in their cars.... it's right at the beach, on the boardwalk, with the water right out there in front, and the boardwalk is full of all sorts of things.

danieliza1127

I had missed that part Sarah, so nevermind on the sitting in cars thing.

J&K10910

Even though I'm super impatient, I wouldn't mind waiting at your location, Sarah.  It sounds like there is lots to look at (I'm a huge people watcher), places to get out of the heat and sit, and since traffic is unpredictable and your ceremony may start late, you'll have a receiving line, etc, I would personally rather get stuck with an extra half hour of waiting than be rushed and frazzled and stressed. 

sarah0725

Yay, consensus! Thanks guys!

AdeleDazeem

For what it's worth, I'd have the ceremony at 10:30am.  I, as the bride, would feel much better knowing that if anything moved more slowly than anticipated, we had built padding into the timing.

From Lucy to the OC, I don't think you'll have horrible traffic.  As my mom says, Saturday is change-over day!  But people can take Ocean Drive and go no where near the Parkway to get there, yes?  The Parkway is where the traffic is the worst.

And, it's not like your reception site has nothing to do if they get there early!

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:473aec23-8bf1-46c5-8e68-d3159387f5b9">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Ha, now I'm even more confused that I got each of you guys to change your minds. :) And I hope people wouldn't sit in their cars.... it's right at the beach, on the boardwalk, with the water right out there in front, and the boardwalk is full of all sorts of things.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Personally I find it pretty fun to walk around casual locations when I'm all dolled up for something else. 

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:96a05b9d-9c04-4069-a7bb-27861b27b5fd">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]For what it's worth, I'd have the ceremony at 10:30am.  I, as the bride, would feel much better knowing that if anything moved more slowly than anticipated, we had built padding into the timing. From Lucy to the OC, I don't think you'll have horrible traffic.  As my mom says, Saturday is change-over day!  But people can take Ocean Drive and go no where near the Parkway to get there, yes?  The Parkway is where the traffic is the worst. And, it's not like your reception site has nothing to do if they get there early!
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I don't think anyone will go out to the parkway. There's that bridge that connects the bottom of Margate to the top of OC, and I'd imagine that's the way most people will go. I guess there isn't too much Margate-to-OC inter-island traffic, even on a Saturday. :)

tenofcups4me

I'd start at 11. I'd much rather a couple miss a few minutes of the cocktail hour than get there early and not be able to get in. The only way I'd start at 10:30 is if your reception site will agree to open up when the first guests arrive.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_timing-wedding-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfbca291-7998-4751-910c-19d3e0ef2b8bPost:fed52490-c570-4b97-92ef-57771287a897">Re: Timing for wedding ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]But J&K, it sounds like people would just end up sitting in their cars for 30-45 minutes waiting for the cocktail hour to open/start.  That would suck. ETA: if you start at 11 and something does take a little longer, it's no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour.  Some guests will go ahead and go and those that get delayed will be there 12:10 or 12:15, no big deal because it's just the cocktail hour. 
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I'm with this. I also think if you're having a full reception, I'd rather a 45 minute cocktail hour than a 75 minute cocktail hour.