SO - Thank You Cards

squirrly

I think it's silly to be expectd to send a TY note for a gift that you received in person and thanked the giver for verbally.  (I still send the notes, but I disagree with the concept.) 

So - I'm not suggesting that anyone NOT send TYs, but I'd ilke to hear your opinions.

What's more sincere to you as the GIVER of a gift - a written note, or a verbal in person thank you?

What's more sincere to you as the RECEIVER of the gift? 

What other thoughts on Thank You notes in general do you have?

laurenclaire1386

I get where you're coming from. It seems redundant to thank someone in person, then say exactly the same thing (pretty much) in a handwritten note. That said though, I still like the idea of thank you notes. It's a nod to another age when people wrote letters and I don't want that to go away. No one writes letters any more, and it's rare that I get a piece of mail that isn't a bill, so when I get a thank you note, I'm always really touched by it.

danieliza1127

I would much rather see the person open my gift in person and then thank me in person.  If that happened, I wouldn't even expect a thank you card and if I got one, I would think it's kind of redundant.  If I was the receiver and thanked the giver in person, I probably wouldn't send a thank you card.  Well I did for my shower gifts though, but really because it's pretty much mandatory. 

Unfortunately at weddings, you aren't going to sit and open your gifts so thanking the giver in person is pretty much out the window.

tenofcups4me

As I mentioned in the other thread, I don't send or receive thank yous for typical birthday and holiday gifts, but they're expected for one-time-only events like engagement, shower, wedding, sweet 16, bar/bar mitzvah. 

angie74

I don't understand why writing TY's for personally delivered gifts should be any different than for ones that are mailed to you. the person still spent the time/money/effort/thought to give it to you- they should be thanked.

I love getting and sending handwritten TY's. I think they're sincere, and show that, even if you already thanked them in person, you still took the time to write something nice to them.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-cards-10?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bfd8cd7a-92e2-4dd4-acbb-4da845a27474Post:fb58e793-2a05-4c4b-8b81-d6c93d94815d">Re: SO - Thank You Cards</a>:
[QUOTE]As I mentioned in the other thread, I don't send or receive thank yous for typical birthday and holiday gifts, but they're expected for one-time-only events like engagement, shower, wedding, sweet 16, bar/bar mitzvah. 
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Yeah, me too. 

vallyhoo

Until recently I've always sent hand written thank you notes, even after receiving gifts in person. I don't expect them from other people AT ALL.


oh and to actually answer the questions:
What's more sincere to you as the GIVER of a gift - a written note, or a verbal in person thank you? A thank you at all is nice.

What's more sincere to you as the RECEIVER of the gift?   For me personally, I enjoy sending thank you notes.

mandybear7

Growing up, we wrote thank you cards for everything, including birthdays and Christmas gifts, even if we thanked in person. I think it is more sincere to show your appreciation by taking a few minutes to hand write a card.

As a giver, I don't hold it against people that don't send thank you cards, but I do notice and appreciate when they are sent.

Then again, Dan makes fun of me because I send cards to my friends and family all the time, even just a "thinking of you" card. I'm a stationary whore.

squirrly

My grandmother pretty much expects a TY note for having received a TY note, so it gets REALLY old to me.  And it's very not-green too. 

michaelandjulie2

I love sending thank you cards. I send them anytime I receive a gift.

It doesn't bother me if i don't receive a thank you note. If I am thanked in person it is more than enough for me. If the gift was mailed, I do like to know the gift has been received. Although I appreciate getting thank you notes.

However,recently I got a thank you via email that was addressed to everyone at a baby shower. I think I might have preferred not getting anything over an email sent to me and 15 other people. That is probably contradictory to the fact that I don't expect thank you notes, but I just found it so impersonal. She had already thanked us as a group at the shower. I found the email to be unnecessary. I think even a personal email might have been better, but it was addressed to everyone who attended. It bothered me a bit, but I know she appreciated our gifts which is what really matters.

quotequeen

I definitely expect a thank you note for any wedding gift even if it was opened in front of me or I was otherwise thanked.  I do not exchange thank you notes with people when we exchange gifts at the same time like at Christmas.

Morfudd

- I won't get worked up about not getting a thank-you note for a gift received in person. I will get worked up about not getting a thank-you note for a big, fancy, socially-climbing wedding, though.

-I got made fun of for writing thank-you notes to all of T's relatives who came to my bridal shower, but I'm so shy in person (and so very less shy in writing), I sent them to make sure that they knew I really did appreciate their presence and generosity.

My problem with thank-you notes, and letters in general (which I love to send) is that I always end up sounding like I'm in a Jane Austen novel. I'm not sure what his relatives will think of me.