kid free party

michellesean

I'm having my reception on a yacht and would like to keep it kid free so that parents can relax and enjoy themselves. I have an aunt who made a scene at one of my other cousin Sheila's wedding because her daughter couldn't bring her grandchildren, but Sheila's husband had siblings from Norway who brought their kids. In that instance I can understand the exception. They couldn't be expected to leave their children while they traveled to another country for a wedding. Now I'm afraid of what she will do at my wedding. Those grandchildren are older, like 14 and 17, and can stay home alone, but her other daughter has a 1 year old and is usualy only babysat by my aunt who will be at the wedding. Then my FI cousin is due in about a month and if they come they will probably bring the baby unless the baby stays with cousins inlaws. They would also be traveling cross country so that's an easy exception in case they do d e cide to bring the baby. What can I do besides writing how many seats will be reserved in the RSVP for each family so that my aunts children don't bring their children?

OwningAHome1981

I hate going to weddings when there are kids around. I'm not a parent but a lot of my friends who are feel the same way. Love your kids all you want- they don't belong at weddings.

And kids on a yacht seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

michellesean

I'm not saying that parents will only enjoy thenselves without their kids. I'm just saying that having a reception on a boat and a bunch of rambunctious kids who specialize in getting in trouble, which unfortunatly they all do, does not always lead to a fun night out. I don't want my cousins to worry about their children getting thrown overboard, and with the set up of the yacht and the nimber of kids eith adhd, bipolar disorder and overall lack of dicipline, that could happen. You can't say that parents don't ever want a night out kid free. There is no room to hire a babysitter to watch all the kids, otherwise id try to p something like that.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:61fe540e-aa1d-465f-b0b1-a38ec7b7bceb">Re: kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate going to weddings when there are kids around. I'm not a parent but a lot of my friends who are feel the same way. <strong>Love your kids all you want- they don't belong at weddings</strong>. And kids on a yacht seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
BS that kids categorically don't belong at weddings.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:a56abac1-ff88-4046-bbf1-7daafeefef18">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not saying that parents will only enjoy thenselves without their kids. I'm just saying that having a reception on a boat and a bunch of rambunctious kids who specialize in getting in trouble, which unfortunatly they all do, does not always lead to a fun night out. I don't want my cousins to worry about their children getting thrown overboard, and with the set up of the yacht and the nimber of kids eith adhd, bipolar disorder and overall lack of dicipline, that could happen. <strong>You can't say that parents don't ever want a night out kid free. </strong>There is no room to hire a babysitter to watch all the kids, otherwise id try to p something like that.
Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>No, but that should be up to the parents, not you. </div>

michellesean

I dont understand. Are you saying its against etiquette to have a kid free reception or that its wrong to say that parents sometimes want to go out without their kids? With my family dynamic and the way most of the kids behave at family gatherings, it could result in a disasterous evening if all the kids run around a yacht all night. I just want to know what else I can do besides writing each persons name who is invited on the invite envelope and specifying the nunber of seats reserved on the RSVP.

beardownbchs

Having an adult only reception is totally fine. It's the assumption that people want a night out without their kids. Sure they probably do, but when and where they do this should be up to them. If you want a no-kids reception, by all means do it. But don't do it because you want your guests to want a night out without their kids. 

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:a3e35ee0-e35f-46c7-8933-fb67b4b9877f">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont understand. Are you saying its against etiquette to have a kid free reception or that its wrong to say that parents sometimes want to go out without their kids? With my family dynamic and the way most of the kids behave at family gatherings, it could result in a disasterous evening if all the kids run around a yacht all night. I just want to know what else I can do besides writing each persons name who is invited on the invite envelope and specifying the nunber of seats reserved on the RSVP.
Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]
I don't think they are saying either is wrong. I think the point is that the way you worded it implies parents need a night away from the kids and can only relax if they are not there, which is not how all parents feel about their kids. <div>
</div><div>I completely agree it sounds like an event best suited for adults only. I'm kind of on the fence about how I feel about kids at weddings, so I generally stay out of these discussions. To answer your question, I don't think there is much else you can do other than what you have done. </div>

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:61fe540e-aa1d-465f-b0b1-a38ec7b7bceb">Re: kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate going to weddings when there are kids around. I'm not a parent but a lot of my friends who are feel the same way. <strong>Love your kids all you want- they don't belong at weddings</strong>. And kids on a yacht seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Oh come on.  I swear every post I see you say something that makes me like and respect you less.  The above statement is just ridiculous.

OP - having a kid free event is fine if that's what you want.  PPs are just objecting to your lame attempt at an excuse of WHY.  You don't need a "why", it's your party you can invite who you want to.  We just, as a general rule, hate when people say they're doing it "b/c their friends need a night out" or "b/c there's an open bar".  You don't need a "why" so don't give us a stupid one. 

Address the invites to those invited.  If you want to go through and write in "two seats reserved" or specific names that could help.  doing the # of seats MIGHT help but you might get aunt Sheila writing in her grandkid instead of her husband.  Writing in names is more direct but you should do a line per person so that they can accept/decline individually as needed and only have as many lines as people you've invited so they don't think they can do write-ins. Beyond that really your only option is to call if/when people RSVP incorrectly.

michellesean

My why was because the reception is on a boat and all of my cousins little kids don't know how to behave. They would spend the whole night watching their children to make sure nobody goes overboard or knocks anything over or anything else. I'm essentially giving them an opportunity to enjoy the wedding reception without making sure their kids stay out of trouble. I don't think my why is stupid based on how my cousins kids are. The person I'm concerned about is my aunt. She makes a big issue out of nothing and I don't want to have another scenr at my wedding. Do I talk to her before the invites go out in a couple months? Or is a phone call after we get an RSVP eith added names suffice?

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]I hate going to weddings when there are kids around. I'm not a parent but a lot of my friends who are feel the same way. Love your kids all you want they don't belong at weddings.And kids on a yacht seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Not to say kid free weddings are wrong but this is complete BS. Idk where you were raised but I was raised to believe weddings were a family event. I actually completely disagree with kid free weddings and I can't stand the idea that someone would be so set on one....no offence op it is up to you and liatris is right take he advice its wonderful. But pps are also correct in that you are being presumptuous. I love taking DD out places we have lots of fun I also have date nights on my own time. That's for no one else to decide. If I really couldn't handle I probably wouldn't have had kids. The only other advice I have to offer is you don't have to cave on the no kids thing but understand where upset parents may be coming from acknowledge their concerns and don't make light of them. I know if my daughter wasn't invited id probably just end up not going not because im a stuck up parent but because chances are since you didn't incite her were not all that close and its probably far from a priority to attend your wedding. But my child is a priority so as long as you are sympathetic and what not you shouldn't feel guilty about your decision.

lyndausvi

Have a kid free party, just don't use "I want the parents to enjoy themselves or not be worried about being on a boat".     Fact is while to a non-parent kids seem like a burden, to parents they are not.   If they think having a kid on the boat is going to be hassel they can make up their own minds.  If they want a night out, they can.


  I only invited my nieces and nephews, so I get it.   Just don't make any lame excuses that you are making the parent's night somehow fun and carefree.  

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]My why was because the reception is on a boat and all of my cousins little kids don't know how to behave. They would spend the whole night watching their children to make sure nobody goes overboard or knocks anything over or anything else. I'm essentially giving them an opportunity to enjoy the wedding reception without making sure their kids stay out of trouble. I don't think my why is stupid based on how my cousins kids are. The person I'm concerned about is my aunt. She makes a big issue out of nothing and I don't want to have another scenr at my wedding. Do I talk to her before the invites go out in a couple months? Or is a phone call after we get an RSVP eith added names suffice? Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]

This is also slightly presumptuous children have stages they go through it doesn't mean they're miss behaved so its not really fair as someone who doesn't have kids to assume this.

michellesean

Thanks for the imput ladies! My moms the family big mouth so ill make sure she spreads the word.

lyndausvi

I think it's ridiculously hilarious that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.   I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kid-free weddings.

WTF?   Every host of a party (wedding or otherwise) has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.   It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.  It's not even an etiquette issue.  


If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.  If your spawn were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.  NBD.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:210c0516-be9f-4e33-a566-11cd6ba81f5d">Re: kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's ridiculously hilarious that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.   I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kid-free weddings. WTF?   Every host of a party (wedding or otherwise) has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.   It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.  It's not even an etiquette issue.   If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.  If your spawn were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.  NBD.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]
I agree. The only etiquette issue should be how to deal with it if the opposite of what you are planning is about to happen to you. 

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]I think it'snbsp;ridiculously hilariousnbsp;that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.nbsp;nbsp; I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kidfree weddings.WTF?nbsp;nbsp; Every host of a party wedding or otherwise has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.nbsp;nbsp; It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.nbsp; It's not even an etiquette issue.nbsp;nbsp;If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.nbsp; If your spawnnbsp;were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.nbsp; NBD. Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]


Hey now I totally acknowledged that she was right to have a kid free wedding. I just don't like them. I mean do I have to love them?

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:567a24c7-8a4d-4d69-be7e-67a9806a3300">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:kid free party: Not to say kid free weddings are wrong but this is complete BS. Idk where you were raised but I was raised to believe weddings were a family event. <strong>I actually completely disagree with kid free weddings and I can't stand the idea that someone would be so set on one</strong>....no offence op it is up to you and liatris is right take he advice its wonderful. But pps are also correct in that you are being presumptuous. I love taking DD out places we have lots of fun I also have date nights on my own time. That's for no one else to decide. If I really couldn't handle I probably wouldn't have had kids. The only other advice I have to offer is you don't have to cave on the no kids thing but understand where upset parents may be coming from acknowledge their concerns and don't make light of them. I know if my daughter wasn't invited id probably just end up not going not because im a stuck up parent but because chances are since you didn't incite her were not all that close and its probably far from a priority to attend your wedding. But my child is a priority so as long as you are sympathetic and what not you shouldn't feel guilty about your decision.
Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

These are your words and I think they are just as ridiculous as OWN's word.


In my case you think I should increase my guest list by 70 people in order to have kids at the wedding.  Or I guess I could decrease my list by 60 and not invite people with kids.  Umm.    

banana468

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:kid free party:I think it'snbsp;ridiculously hilariousnbsp;that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.nbsp;nbsp; I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kidfree weddings.WTF?nbsp;nbsp; Every host of a party wedding or otherwise has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.nbsp;nbsp; It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.nbsp; It's not even an etiquette issue.nbsp;nbsp;If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.nbsp; If your spawnnbsp;were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.nbsp; NBD. Posted by lyndausvi


Hey now I totally acknowledged that she was right to have a kid free wedding. I just don't like them. I mean do I have to love them? Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

You also stated that the OP should understand upset parents when she opts for a child free event when it is NEVER appropriate to go to the hosts with some kind of emotional response simply because you don't like that your offspring wasn't included.

I'm close to plenty of people but not their children. Do you really believe that people should add people they don't know to their guest list because children are the future?

aurianna

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:a56abac1-ff88-4046-bbf1-7daafeefef18">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not saying that parents will only enjoy thenselves without their kids. I'm just saying that having a reception on a boat and a bunch of rambunctious kids who specialize in getting in trouble, which unfortunatly they all do, does not always lead to a fun night out. I don't want my cousins to worry about their children getting thrown overboard, and with the set up of the yacht and the nimber of kids eith adhd, bipolar disorder and overall lack of dicipline, that could happen. You can't say that parents don't ever want a night out kid free. There is no room to hire a babysitter to watch all the kids, otherwise id try to p something like that.
Posted by michellesean[/QUOTE]

Honestly this comes off much more as <em>your </em>not wanting the rambunctious, bipolar kids throwing each other overboard at your wedding, rather than not wanting them there for the sake of their parents.
And that is 100%, totally fine.

A wedding invite is not a summons. So even if children <em>were </em>invited, if they honestly were worried about these possibilities getting in the way of their good time, they'd choose to leave the kids with a babysitter all on their own.


So you need to be honest with yourself:

If the reason you truly aren't inviting kids is really because you want the parents of the children to be free to have a good time, you can avoid any drama at all with your aunt, invite the kids, and let the parents decide.

If the reason is actually that you don't want the little terrors running around the yacht, or think they'd bother other guests, or you simply don't think that kids fit in the very elegant atmosphere you envision your reception as (or if you want to save money or space, etc), all of these reasons are completely valid. Put only the names of those invited on the envelopes, perhaps do '2 seats are reserved in your honor' on the response cards, let the family blabbermouth know, and when/if aunt adds extras to RSVP, just call her up and say the invite was just for those listed.
If she asks you "why" don't respond with "we want parents to have a good time." Simply say "I'm sorry, we can't accomodate the children." Don't let her push you into giving an explanation. "The guestlist is final. Please let me know by XYZ date if you're still able to attend. I hope to see you there!" or somethiing along those lines.

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:567a24c7-8a4d-4d69-be7e-67a9806a3300">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:kid free party: Not to say kid free weddings are wrong but this is complete BS. Idk where you were raised but I was raised to believe weddings were a family event. I actually completely disagree with kid free weddings and I can't stand the idea that someone would be so set on one....no offence op it is up to you and liatris is right take he advice its wonderful. But pps are also correct in that you are being presumptuous. I love taking DD out places we have lots of fun I also have date nights on my own time. That's for no one else to decide. If I really couldn't handle I probably wouldn't have had kids. The only other advice I have to offer is you don't have to cave on the no kids thing but understand where upset parents may be coming from acknowledge their concerns and don't make light of them.<strong> I know if my daughter wasn't invited id probably just end up not going not because im a stuck up parent but because chances are since you didn't incite her were not all that close and its probably far from a priority to attend your wedding.</strong> But my child is a priority so as long as you are sympathetic and what not you shouldn't feel guilty about your decision.
Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]
<span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">
</span><div><span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">This totally makes you sound like a stuck-up parent. </span></div><div><span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">
</span></div><div><span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">I find the bolded hard to believe. If people are close enough to you to invite you to their wedding then they must be close enough to your children to invite them too? It sounds like a bit of a cop-out reason to not go to someone's wedding.</span>
<div>
</div><div>I definitely have friends who I am inviting to my wedding but am not inviting their children. Just because I am close with them does not mean I am close with their children.</div></div>

Summer2011Bride

The kid judging on BOTH sides is just ridiculous.

Have kids at your wedding if you want them. Don't have kids at your wedding if you don't. Kids are people too, and why shoudn't they be treated like your adult guests? You invite the adults you want there and don't invite adults you don't want there. Why are kids always treated so differently and cause people to judge others on both sides of the coin?

OP, if you don't want kids, don't invite them. But don't try to tell people it's because you want them to have a good night out or because it's on a boat. Those are lame excuses, and you don't need an excuse. Just address the invitations to adults only and call any guest who RSVPs for children and explain the invitation was only for them.

ridedatbike

Ok...see I get that she's not technically being rude but there probably will be confronted by people who do believe that weddings are supposed to be a family affair so its better that she be gracious and understanding about it. Im sure shed get better results and maybe people wont just show up with they kids or continue to throw fits. Kid free weddings truly aren't my style but had she the attitude I encouraged I wouldn't be as put off...im trying to help her maintain her wishes and also he possible drama....

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:4760df50-74a1-4dc7-98ff-e9b2afe775ce">Re:kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok...<strong>see I get that she's not technically being rude</strong> but there <strong>probably will be confronted by people who do believe that weddings are supposed to be a family affair so its better that she be gracious and understanding about it. Im sure shed get better results and maybe people wont just show up with they kids or continue to throw fits.</strong> Kid free weddings truly aren't my style but had she the attitude I encouraged I wouldn't be as put off...im trying to help her maintain her wishes and also he possible drama....
Posted by ridedatbike[/QUOTE]

Nobody is going to confront her at her wedding about not having kids there, because thats just rude. Well, I guess her crazy Aunt might, but shes obviously BSC. If she doesnt want children at her wedding, she doesnt have to have any....and she doesnt need to make an exception so she can "get better results". If people want to come, they will find a sitter for their children. If not, they wont attend. I think its presumptious of the OP to assume that parents go to weddings to get a night off from kids bc that is completely ridiculous. Why should the OP "be gracious and understanding" and allow these children to come, when she really doesnt want them there? Everybody has their own views about this, and while some people strongly believe children should be at a wedding (as you do), others dont want children there (as OP does).

ETA: You're right, OP is not being "technically rude." She is not being rude at all by not wanting children at her wedding. The only rude thing she did was make the comment about parents wanting to using weddings as a night away from their children, because thats not always the case.

lauralaur

OP I'm not a parent, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, because it's entirely possible that I'm talking out of my butt here, but I think if I chose to spend a night away from my hypothetical kids my first choice would not be to spend it on a boat where I am stuck and can't get to them if there happens to be an accident while I am away. Odds are nothing will happen, but that would be in the back of my mind. Just my $0.02 on this subject.

But, if you don't want kids, address the invite to those invited and you can reiterate on the RSVP card, but I will say that writing out the number of seats reserved, while less cumbersome than individually naming guests, opens you up to the possibility of substitutions. Think "Well my husband Joe can't come so I'll bring my friend Stacy, since two seats were reserved for me."

MrsMuq

OP, a kid-free wedding is fine, but don't tell people you're having a kid-free reception so the "parents can enjoy your wedding/a night out/the open bar" - because truth be told, many guests just go to a wedding out of obligation. My idea of a night out with H is NOT going to someone's wedding.

And OP, don't be offended if people decline to come because they don't want/can't afford a sitter, or because they can't bring their kids.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kid-free-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c28c44-05c8-4ddb-a15f-2e214d383d8dPost:210c0516-be9f-4e33-a566-11cd6ba81f5d">Re: kid free party</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's ridiculously hilarious that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.   I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kid-free weddings. WTF?   <strong>Every host of a party (wedding or otherwise) has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.</strong>   It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.  It's not even an etiquette issue.   If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.  If your spawn were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.  NBD.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

And every poster is entitled to her opinion.

banana468

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kid free party:I think it'snbsp;ridiculously hilariousnbsp;that Own thinks all weddings should be kid free.nbsp;nbsp; I also think it's ridiculously hilarious that Ride disagrees with kidfree weddings. WTF?nbsp;nbsp; Every host of a party wedding or otherwise has a right to decide who they want on the guest list.nbsp;nbsp; It's not you place to have an opinion on the subject.nbsp; It's not even an etiquette issue.nbsp;nbsp; If you are invited to a wedding there might be kids and don't want to go, don't.nbsp; If your spawnnbsp;were not invited and you don't want to go because of that, then don't.nbsp; NBD.Posted by lyndausviAnd every poster is entitled to her opinion. Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

You're phrasing your opinion as if its a fact. You don't have to like kids at weddings but it is up to the hosts to decide if they belong.

ridedatbike

In Response to Re:kid free party:[QUOTE]OP, a kidfree wedding is fine, but don't tell people you're having a kidfree reception so the "parents can enjoy your wedding/a night out/the open bar" because truth be told, many guests just go to a wedding out of obligation. My idea of a night out with H is NOT going to someone's wedding.And OP, don't be offended if people decline to come because they don't want/can't afford a sitter, or because they can't bring their kids. Posted by MrsMuq[/QUOTE]

Obviously I was completely misunderstood. I said DONT cave but try to understand where they're coming from and maybe they'll come around. You said it better pp. Aaaand I just don't agree with them because in my book its supposed to be a family affair that's why were having kids at our wedding. Obviously ops different and that's why she's not having kids at the wedding.