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bachelor/bachelorette party

I know i have some time yet but i just wanted to ask this question. I have a very involved wp, we have it picked already because we have a social in 5 months. I have a hard time accepting things from people (money etc) and always pay for everything myself as i can afford it. We are paying for our wedding ourselves. Now my question is........... is it ok to decide where to go for the bachelor/ette party? We would like a combined one and WANT to pay for it, we don't want our wedding party to shell out tons of money. Not having a party is out of the question, they want one, they will have lots of imput and can do extra things if they so choose. I just want to know if it is ok for us to pick the place to go? On our dime for the most part. We are already having girls/guys seperate weekends for some fun bonding time (we paying for that too) In no way are we rich, i just think we should be paying for certain things and that if we are choosing what to do it is our responsibility. Thoughts?
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Re: bachelor/bachelorette party

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    mkruparmkrupar member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    A bachelorette/bachelor party is something someone throws for you. A party in your honor should never be hosted by you. It's against etiquette. You can certainly take them all out on your dime, but I wouldn't call it a B-party. Why don't you want them to put together a party for you that they can afford? It sounds to me that you may have something in mind that might be out of most people's budgets so are trying to circumvent that by paying yourselves.
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    Sorry i guess i should have been more specific. I don't really have something in mind most can't afford but i do have a couple bridesmaids that have REALLY different ideas and it worries me, they want me to do trashy things (like KISS random strangers and stuff because it's fun to them, disrespectful to my fi i think but they are single) I just want to rent a party bus (pay for it), go to a few places, and we would have to stay in the city (we live in small town) so i would be paying for the hotel rooms. I have one bm (not my MOH who tries to push things on the others and wants to do it all her way, this way no one would have a problem) No one has complained (to my face) but thanks for the opinion, that is why i asked, wanted to know if it was acceptable. 
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    If they ask your opinion, you can give your input - politely. You can't dictate exactly what to do though. If you aren't comfortable with what they are planning, decline the party. It's really not appropriate for you to plan it or pay for it. Let them throw you the party if you want, and go with it. If you don't agree with something they are asking you about, say something like "That could be fun, but I'm not sure its really my style. Could we keep it a little more low key this time?" However, its up to them to make a final decision.
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    Ok thank you when the time comes i will talk to my MOH, she has my best interests at heart anyways, she is not the one i am worried about lol
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    mkruparmkrupar member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Yeah you're definitely allowed to put in your opinion as far as what they're planning. No strippers, no hookers, no blow. You know, those kinds of things. Like pp said. If the diretion they're going is not to your liking you can just decline.
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    Just be up front with them in the begining and get you MOH to see where you stand. As it is a party being held in your honor, you shouldnt be the one planning it, but you can tell them what you dont feel comfortable with. That way the WP still gets the joy and thrill of planning your "last night out" but they know to respect your taste and wishes.

    Good luck! :)
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    ty :)
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