Need some advice!

amsaltsman

Hello

The venue that my fiance and I have chosen forces us to keep our guest list below 125. I have 21 first cousins on my mom's side, and that is not including their significant others. I am inviting all aunts and uncles, but I am torn about cousins. I wanted to invite 3 "whole" families (aunts and uncles including their children), and then just my other three aunts and uncles (without their children). We are paying $90 a head, and it doesn't seem worth it to include cousins who I barely recognize or know. I would rather include someone on the guest list that my fiance and I are close with. Is this rude to not include all first cousins? Would LOVE any suggstions or advice!

HockeyFan4

It is suggested to make clear cuts, through circles.  So all aunts and uncles, all 1st cousins, etc.

Only you know your family to know if it will cause family drama not inviting some people.  Personally I have about 25 first cousins.  I did not invite 3 of them, because I haven't seen them since their mother divorced their dad (my dad's brother) when I was a kid.  I know an aunt on my mom's side asked my uncle at the wedding where the girls were.  If I actually cared about my uncle, it would have been an issue.  But honestly, I only invited that uncle for my dad's sake.

amsaltsman

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2419e44-c2af-4a12-9550-d886dcb39e9ePost:7dff7313-05a0-4e29-b5de-548927bd3732">Re: Need some advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]It is suggested to make clear cuts, through circles.  So all aunts and uncles, all 1st cousins, etc. Only you know your family to know if it will cause family drama not inviting some people.  Personally I have about 25 first cousins.  I did not invite 3 of them, because I haven't seen them since their mother divorced their dad (my dad's brother) when I was a kid.  I know an aunt on my mom's side asked my uncle at the wedding where the girls were.  If I actually cared about my uncle, it would have been an issue.  But honestly, I only invited that uncle for my dad's sake.
Posted by HockeyFan4[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks! I think I am thinking about it too much. </div>

Loopyseven

We invited cousins on my side, but only the three he sees regularly from his side.  I haven't heard of any backlash from his family - He has 20+ cousins also (his mom is one of 6 kids) and we weren't the first to leave the cousins out.  But again - that's a family dynamic thing, more than an etiquette thing and only you know how your family would react to that.

kmmssg

If you haven't signed a contract, are you better off to finalize the guest list with everyone you want first, and THEN choose the venue?

EK2013

FI and I, with our families' blessings, drew these clear lines: His few cousins were invited; my one cousin on my mom's side was invited, none from my dad's. (There are a ton of first cousins on that side.) This means we'll have 3 cousins in attendance total--and they're all the ones who are around our age and have similar interests to us.

coopsbaby

We're inviting all 13 of my maternal cousins since we all grew up in the same small town and get together frequently. It would cause HUGE drama to leave any out, even the ones I know won't come. On my dad's side, I don't even know how many I have or what their names are fr the most part. I grew up with 3 of them (out of around 25) so they are the only ones invited. It won't be a problem. If you're not sure if there will be an issue I'd ask the relevent parent and see what they think.