Impromptu wedding etiquette

Aaren&Jed

Hi everyone, we recently found out that my fiance's grandmother's health is rapidly declining. My fiance really wants his grandma to see us get married and we were thinking of having a small separate ceremony for close family only and then having the main ceremony in May. Is there any etiquette that we should be aware of for an impromptu wedding???????

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_impromptu-wedding-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2694d76-8726-4020-90b0-88a62f274ea1Post:03d46a87-f3ef-407e-b754-86b77912e882">Impromptu wedding etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, we recently found out that my fiance's grandmother's health is rapidly declining. My fiance really wants his grandma to see us get married and we were thinking of having a small separate ceremony for close family only and then having the main ceremony in May. Is there any etiquette that we should be aware of for an impromptu wedding???????
Posted by Aaren&Jed[/QUOTE]

<div>Etiquette (and logic) dictates that you can only have one wedding ceremony per marriage.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you get married now, just do the party in May.  Send out an announcement in March telling people that you were married in a private ceremony on whatever date and invite them to the reception in May.</div>

adamar15

Either move the wedding up so that his grandma can come, or keep the original date.  Whichever event you get legally married at is your wedding.  Anything after that will be a vow renewal, and it would not make sense to get married now and do a vow renewal in five months.

Avion22

If you have a small, separate wedding for close family (and grandma), then this IS your wedding.  You can do a vow renewal ceremony later, but don't keep it a secret from anyone that you are already married.   

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_impromptu-wedding-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2694d76-8726-4020-90b0-88a62f274ea1Post:03d46a87-f3ef-407e-b754-86b77912e882">Impromptu wedding etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, we recently found out that my fiance's grandmother's health is rapidly declining. My fiance really wants his grandma to see us get married and we were thinking of having a small separate ceremony for close family only and then having the main ceremony in May. Is there any etiquette that we should be aware of for an impromptu wedding???????
Posted by Aaren&Jed[/QUOTE]

<p>The later celebration (one in May) would be a vow renewal or a party in honor of your recent wedding. But it won't be a wedding. So no bridal party, garter toss, first dance, etc.

You only get one wedding, so make sure it is something you are ok with.

Therefore, I would suggest just moving up your wedding. If money is an issue, I'm sure everyone would understand if you do something more low key (like a backyard BBQ reception, cake or punch, etc.). </p>

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_impromptu-wedding-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c2694d76-8726-4020-90b0-88a62f274ea1Post:d9bc0c61-57ae-4ff7-b121-05e704358ef9">Re: Impromptu wedding etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Have only 1 wedding per wo/man (unless you get divorced first). That's a good etiquette rule.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

Or you're a polygamist?

ILoveToRobot

Like PP said have the ceremony now and the reception later. Make sure you either make it a very private ceremony (immediate family) or invite everyone that you're inviting to the reception.

redheadfsu

TK ate my post (I think)...so here it is again.

The later celebration (one in May) would be a vow renewal or a party in honor of your recent wedding. But it won't be a wedding. So no bridal party, garter toss, first dance, etc. You only get one wedding, so make sure it is something you are ok with. Therefore, I would suggest just moving up your wedding. If money is an issue, I'm sure everyone would understand if you do something more low key (like a backyard BBQ reception, cake or punch, etc.).

freebread03

Are you planning to get divorced before your May ceremony?  If that's the case, I guess go for it, but you can only get married once.

jessicabessica

I would have a private ceremony with your FI's grandma (and whatever immediate family you want there) and then a small brunch or other meal to celebrate--you should host something to thank the people at your ceremony--if you cannot move up the entire wedding.  If you want to have the party in May as planned, have a party to celebrate your marriage, but I wouldn't bother with a second ceremony or make it too much like a big wedding reception (wedding party, first dance, etc.). 

I am sure your ceremony with your FI's grandma will be very special.  If I were a guest I would totally respect that reason for the change in plans, although I would be a bit skeptical if you tried to have some kind of second ceremony several months after your wedding. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You need to decide if moving your whole wedding up is feasible. If not, decide whether or not you value a big traditional wedding or a small family wedding with grandma more. There's no right answer, IMO.

My husband's grandmother passed away 6 weeks before our wedding, so I can sympathize. She wouldn't have been able to attend anyway, since she lived out of state and was 99, but she did receive our invitation.

sweetcanadian1979

Someone on our month board had a "wedding" in december for his father who is very ill & not likely to make it till june. It wasn't real, they went through the motions for him to be included but did not sign a paper as a legal contract. What about something along those lines?