Are tip jars acceptable?

smokeybailey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-jars-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3a47c6e-b56e-4a9d-8de2-fd9ae9bec1dcPost:76f2a0ab-3ec9-461a-ad84-f9270e321021">Re: Are tip jars acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Are tip jars acceptable? : Agreed!! We are hiring a bartender and paying all the alcohol and having an at home wedding (bc we want too) FI mom IS a bartender and I'm a part time waitress and she actually has always told her children 2 people in life you take care of 1 your mom 2 your BARTENDER!!
Posted by Xtine22[/QUOTE]

Agreed...BUT the person paying for the booze should pay for the tip.  Not your guests.  Nobody is saying don't tip the bartender, we are saying that it's the responsibility of the host and not the guests to handle this.

mica178

 I'm already tipping my bartenders 20% per the pre-signed agreement.  Having the tip jar out on the counter makes it look like I'm not tipping them.  I would not want my guests to feel like they're expected to pull out their wallets to tip.

That being said, my ex-bartender friends say tips are always welcome in open bars, and most of them do bring small bills to these events so they can have more generous pours and shorter waits at the bar.  So, I guess if your guests want to tip the bartenders extra, they can slide the cash across the bar, but please don't let the staff put out tip jars.

jamjar11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-jars-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3a47c6e-b56e-4a9d-8de2-fd9ae9bec1dcPost:b699ca3d-9a6c-4b65-bdc2-eb35935939b7">Re: Are tip jars acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE] And frankly, I'm not friends with the kind of people who would give me the 'side eye' for something like that. My friends and family are nice :P
Posted by siorsolas[/QUOTE]

<div>My friends and family are nice, too. And almost all of them are or have been in the service industry. So guess what? They tip their bartender. And waitress. And anyone they can possibly tip. They don't need a jar to remind them to be decent.</div><div>
</div><div>As far as I'm concerned, tipping is a general courtesy that doesn't need to be in your face like a hobo with a paper cup. When I'm helping a customer at my store, I don't say, "Don't forget to thank me." </div>

jamjar11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tip-jars-acceptable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c3a47c6e-b56e-4a9d-8de2-fd9ae9bec1dcPost:fbfd0531-5bba-4c0c-a58a-03a5b88a4d44">Re: Are tip jars acceptable?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having a tip jar and I don't see the big deal with it.  It wont be some big obvious thing, but it will be there.  We are buying all of the alcohol and hired a private bartender who isn't charging us anything for his services as long as he is allowed to have a tip jar out.  No, we aren't being cheap and No, we are not having our guests pay for their alcohol.  But I do think it's incredibly rude for someone to get drink after drink and not tip a bartender.
Posted by Xan921[/QUOTE]

<div>So basically, you aren't paying your bartender anything, but you are expecting your guests to pay for his services? There seems to be a slight gap in logic there.</div>

Xan921

We will be paying our bartender, we'll be giving him a heafty tip at the end of the evening which I am sure will be a lot more than the tips he collects as we are having a small wedding.  He just will not accept any money up front but requires a tip jar out.  I really don't see any kind of problem with this and everyone that I've asked about this (ie, friends, co-workers, relatives) don't even seem to question it.  I've never been to a single wedding where there wasn't a tip jar.

klcramer5

this is a very challenging issue/concern for me. In my circumstance, we are paying and tipping the bartender as part of the contract. I don't want my guests to tip the bartender because we have already paid for the tip. Do you tip your wait staff when they fill your wine glass, clear your dishes or bring you coffee? In my experience the answer is No. So why does the bartender in effect get a double tip (the one from us and then the one from guests as they order drinks). I am not thrilled about the idea of a tip jar but I also know my guests will want to leave a tip. So would it be wrong to suggest that any tips given to the bartender are split among all serving staff? If so, how do you word this on the tip jar without sounding tacky? the venue we are using will not put the jar on the bar, instead it will be under the bar if someone requests they would like to leave a tip.