Engagement Party Question

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*

I have a question... We are in Hawaii, my family in Cali, his in Guam...we have some friends and family here in Hawaii and would like to do something to celebrate our engagement. Who usually throws the engagement party? would it be weird/tacky if we through one ourselves? how far from the engagement is too far to throw a party? I dont want to throw one too close to the Holidays. Thanks!

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c48231bc-6e99-4137-bd87-498691c73df8Post:df4ddddd-ab4c-483a-92e6-99d782f58d57">Engagement Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a question... We are in Hawaii, my family in Cali, his in Guam...we have some friends and family here in Hawaii and would like to do something to celebrate our engagement. Who usually throws the engagement party? would it be weird/tacky if we through one ourselves? how far from the engagement is too far to throw a party? I dont want to throw one too close to the Holidays. Thanks!
Posted by *HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*[/QUOTE]

JIC.

I just woke up and can't deal with this right now.

Nebb

YeS iT wOuLd bE tAcKy tO dO ThAt.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c48231bc-6e99-4137-bd87-498691c73df8Post:e3adb039-0f66-4f87-aeaf-251e1b2edd22">Re: Engagement Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]YeS iT wOuLd bE tAcKy tO dO ThAt.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Bwahahaha!

<3 ya, Nebb.

mwhitson14

I've heard of family throwing the engagement party. You don't throw your own party. The engagement party is usually thrown pretty close to the actual engagement proposal.

You don't have to have one of these, so don't stress too much about it if it doesn't happen.

ootmother2

Don't give your own engagement party.  It's very poor etiquette

pandasquishy

It is tacky and improper etiquette to throw yourself an e-party.  Just the same as you cannot throw yourself a bridal shower.

Brie2010

What everyone else said.

Especially Nebb.

betrothed123

You do not plan one, and you do not ask for one.  If someone wants to throw you one they will.  They are not necessary and not everyone has them.

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*

yeah I know I dont have to have one for it to be valid... I just thought it would be nice to do something for us...we both just got back from 2 seperate tours in Iraq and thought it would be a nice excuse to bring some of the family together... perhaps an engagement/house warming get together ....

Nebb

Your WEDDING is the party you plan to bring family together. You DO NOT plan any other party surrounding your wedding. If no one does, then you dont get one, live with it.

mwhitson14

Then just throw a regular old party and don't make it anything wedding related.

Do people not throw regular old gtg's anymore?

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c48231bc-6e99-4137-bd87-498691c73df8Post:a4a58649-75da-4a80-b91d-148d80a136c3">Re: Engagement Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Then just throw a regular old party and don't make it anything wedding related. Do people not throw regular old gtg's anymore?
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]

Nope, parties are forbidden.

squirrly

You can throw a party and invite whomever you want.  Don't call it an engagement party.  Many people will still congratulate you on your engagement.  It's really just the name that's different.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I just had a holiday party that my fiance and threw ourselves. Friends I haven't seen recently asked to see my ring, but it was not wedding-related. Have a post-New Year's party or a dinner party.

Traditionally the bride's family hosts an e-party as a way for both sides of the family to meet. But again, you can't ask for one.

Goldlie11

According to the article below, it is okay for the couple to throw their own engagement party.  I guess this is because an engagement party is not a gift giving event.  I know I've heard of people throwing their own engagement party.  What exactly is tacky about getting your families together to celebrate a happy event?  It's not like you're expecting anything in return.

http://weddings.about.com/od/bridesandgrooms/a/engagementparty.htm

[Deleted User]

In many circles, the engagement party is a gift giving event which makes it very rude to throw your own.

Nebb

I also read once on the internet that the lock ness monster was terrorizing tourists, it even ATE one back in 2002.

Does that make it true, NO. Just because you read it on the internet doesnt make it immediately true. Good grief.

[Deleted User]

No Nebb, you're wrong. Everything on the internet is true. The loch ness monster is real. If you don't stop spreading these lies, I'm going to have to send my pet Yeti to eat your arms off and poop in your lawn.

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c48231bc-6e99-4137-bd87-498691c73df8Post:ca9b04f9-7c06-434c-8f0c-19673dcd6eea">Re: Engagement Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]According to the article below, it is okay for the couple to throw their own engagement party.  I guess this is because an engagement party is not a gift giving event.  I know I've heard of people throwing their own engagement party.  What exactly is tacky about getting your families together to celebrate a happy event?  It's not like you're expecting anything in return. http://weddings.about.com/od/bridesandgrooms/a/engagementparty.htm
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

Really?  You're going to take etiquette advice from<em> this</em> chick?


<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '8d83f2ad-591b-4d85-80d0-7e3980c7fe01', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/13/0/8d83f2ad-591b-4d85-80d0-7e3980c7fe01.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c48231bc-6e99-4137-bd87-498691c73df8Post:6fba1914-c4df-4f67-821d-3b399b54289f">Re: Engagement Party Question</a>:
[QUOTE]No Nebb, you're wrong. Everything on the internet is true. The loch ness monster is real. If you don't stop spreading these lies, I'm going to have to send my pet Yeti to eat your arms off and poop in your lawn.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Oddly enough Adam and I had an arguement lastnight when I was making about the Yeti - I said he is in an arctic gardens commercial (when he pulls the dude out from his ice hut, and then steals the arctic garden vegetables he is cooking), and adam claims that the yeti isnt real so it makes no sense that he would be in the commercial. You should send him just to prove my stupid husband wrong.

[Deleted User]

Will do. I'll pack my Chupacabra too. He'll scare the shiit out of Adam with his red eyes and hatred.

lilgina64

Nebb is really on the ball today. Every post I just read has literally made me laugh so hard my abs hurt.

anyways, have a party. a plain old party. I see nothing wrong with a party as long as it's not attaching a gift giving sentiment to itsself (wedding, engagement, etc) if you simply want your friends and family to just come hang out.

Nebb

Why thankyou!

Goldlie11

I cited one article as an example.  I knew a couple that threw their own engagement party to celebrate.  It was really just a dinner to bring the two families together to celebrate the good news.  Once again, an engagement party is not a gift giving event.  If the OP and her FI want to throw a party to celebrate, I don't see it as a problem.  At most, some guests might want to bring a bottle of wine or something (just like they might want to if they were invited to a dinner party).

I honestly don't understand why people have to get rude just because someone has a differing opinion.   

wadingmoose

I'm sure I could google and find articles that contradict your article and say that it's inappropriate to host your own engagement party.

I suspect that the internet advice is really pointless.  If her circle is one that does gifts for the engagement party, then yes, it is a gift giving event and should not be thrown by the couple.

Goldlie11

I have to agree that there are many different opinions out there.  If I were to go to an engagement party, I would not bring a gift.  It is well known that you are not supposed to bring a gift (even I knew that and I'm clueless about most things wedding related).  

Anyway, I am not going to argue any further.  The OP and her fiance should have a dinner party/celebration if they want to .  If they don't feel comfortable calling it an engagement party, then they should not.  I see nothing wrong with say, "Hey we just got engaged and are throwing a little dinner party to celebrate."

wadingmoose

Actually, according to Emily Post, it depends on the size of the engagement party, however she does indicate that there will be gifts even though they are not required.