Smashing the cake

JessAndTrav

OMG, Sucrets, I'm just now re-opening this thread.

It's hard to stop, you know. Thanks Beatles for suggesting protection.

sucrets4

I hope it all works out for you, Jess.  I hear it's an addiction.

daynalyntroy

I'm not a fan.  I'm all for having fun and keeping things laid back, but I feel like a wedding deserves more respect (and table manners) than that.

akhensley81

OK... saw this thread and just had to check it out. FH and I got in to a discussion about this yesterday. I do not want anything to do with cake smashing - I think it's stupid and childish and I would be so irritated if I had to run to the bathroom to clean cake out of my hair. NO THANK YOU!!

When I explained this to FH... he gave me this coy little mischevious smile and said, "we'll see about that."

HELP!!! I swear I will throttle him in front of all our friends and family if he does this to me. For you ladies who did not do it --- what did you say to your FH before hand to make it clear that it wasn't going to happen?? Guys are so juvinile. LOL!

[Deleted User]

lame.

crfische

Sooks, 'round these parts, we call it a groom's dinner.

aMrsin09

HELP!!! I swear I will throttle him in front of all our friends and family if he does this to me. For you ladies who did not do it --- what did you say to your FH before hand to make it clear that it wasn't going to happen?? Guys are so juvinile. LOL!

I pointed out to him how much the hair and makeup was costing and reminded him that marriages aren't vaild until they are consumated.

future-mrs

Completely agree with PP.... however, FI loves to get his "evil eye" and smirk going anytime this is mentioned.  He's just doing that to bug me.  He was Best Man at his best friends wedding and watched his BF do that to his bride and was actually shocked/disturbed.  He even knew how much time and money she put into her make-up and hair and couldn't believe Matt did that to her.

If this does occur, you will see me posting about an annulment as well.

ohwhynot

Tacky and gross.  I would be stunned if my fi thought it was funny or cute. 

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:9fd1c3e3-9453-48a9-bc89-6964ac0e1755">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]OK... saw this thread and just had to check it out. FH and I got in to a discussion about this yesterday. I do not want anything to do with cake smashing - I think it's stupid and childish and I would be so irritated if I had to run to the bathroom to clean cake out of my hair. NO THANK YOU!! When I explained this to FH... he gave me this coy little mischevious smile and said, "we'll see about that." HELP!!! I swear I will throttle him in front of all our friends and family if he does this to me. For you ladies who did not do it --- what did you say to your FH before hand to make it clear that it wasn't going to happen?? Guys are so juvinile. LOL!
Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

You're marrying a guy who doesn't respect you enough to NOT smear food in your face in public? 

[Deleted User]

i could go either way. I've been to weddings where they didn't do it and that was expected, as they are more reserved. Then our close friends got married and at first didn't do it, then they had this look in their eyes almost daring the other to do it. Finally, he made the first move. It wasn't tacky or rude or gross, it was funny because they are very playful people and it suited them. And no one thought poorly of them.

As for me and FI, I can't say what will happen. I know for sure he will be expecting me to, so if I don't, he will think I'm going to get him later or something. But I'm not so vain or bratty that if he gets cake on my face or dress I'll freak out and not talk to him. It's a damn dress, and cake comes off with a napkin.

Although, I'm not talking about full-on face in the cake kind of thing, that would irritate me.  

temerityjane

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:d9af9e4e-1a27-4785-81a7-afbb66a06844">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]i could go either way. I've been to weddings where they didn't do it and that was expected, as they are more reserved. Then our close friends got married and at first didn't do it, then they had this look in their eyes almost daring the other to do it. Finally, he made the first move. It wasn't tacky or rude or gross, it was funny because they are very playful people and it suited them. And no one thought poorly of them. As for me and FI, I can't say what will happen. I know for sure he will be expecting me to, so if I don't, he will think I'm going to get him later or something. <strong>But I'm not so vain or bratty that if he gets cake on my face or dress I'll freak out and not talk to him.</strong> It's a damn dress, and cake comes off with a napkin. Although, I'm not talking about full-on face in the cake kind of thing, that would irritate me.  
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I don't think not wanting food smashed on my face makes me vain or bratty. But if it does, I guess I'll take my place with all the other vain brats in this thread.

</div>

temerityjane

Oh and as for my vote - no cake to the face. Buddy knows very well that he'd get laser beam rage eyes pointed right at him and if his head didn't explode right then from the force of my anger, he'd at least be sleeping on the pull out in the hotel room. Not because I'm vain or bratty, but because I expressed to him that I do not want to do that, and he has enough respect for me to go along with that. He likely wouldn't have done it anyway, but I'm glad we talked about it and got it out of the way.

brilibby4

Why would anyone want cake all over their face on the day they spent the most time getting ready/will probably have the most pictures of?  I know I would just feel gross for the rest of the night!  Also why risk getting it on the most expensive dress you will ever wear?  I have never understood this!

JanoBean75

Just looks gross.

Anthriel22

Definitely against cake smashing.  My FI kids about it to freak my mom out, but he told me he just likes to mess with her, and wouldnt actually do it, because he respects me and my wishes!!!!.  He also knows I would kill him right there on the spot!  Besides, our cake is red velvet, not being bratty, I just dont want red stains on my dress for the rest of the night!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

This is pretty much the one time in my life I'm actually paying to have my makeup done, so no way in hell.

kd.joseph

My mother would hunt him down if he did this, I've made it clear this is not to go on at our wedding. And it's HIS money paying for my hair and make-up. He kids me, but I know he wouldn't disrespect me like that.
His daughter and her husband did it a little bit, not full face smash but a little on the nose.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:0a15b21f-ff27-45c9-bd93-eb0b25d845a4">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Smashing the cake : I don't think not wanting food smashed on my face makes me vain or bratty. But if it does, I guess I'll take my place with all the other vain brats in this thread.
Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is about makeup. How much makeup are brides wearing that it's so terrible to mess up? It's makeup, it can be fixed. If I got mad at my FI because he smudged my lipstick or heaven forbid I had to reapply some blush, he'd think I was ridiculous, and I'd agree. Although, I won't be wearing that much makeup anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.

But then, this is assuming we're not talking about when people completely cover their new spouse's entire face with cake. I would be mad if he sat there and rubbed it all over me just to coat me in icing, but a little tease with cake smudged on the cheek isn't that big a deal. Getting mad over that is just stupid.

NuggetBrain

I would be beyond pissed if all the time I put into my makeup was ruined because he thought it would be amusing to jam a pastry into my face.

squirrly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:dbb6be3d-b217-43fd-a126-606f8aaf50ae">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Smashing the cake : I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is about makeup. How much makeup are brides wearing that it's so terrible to mess up? It's makeup, it can be fixed. If I got mad at my FI because he smudged my lipstick or heaven forbid I had to reapply some blush, he'd think I was ridiculous, and I'd agree. Although, I won't be wearing that much makeup anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway. But then, this is assuming we're not talking about when people completely cover their new spouse's entire face with cake. I would be mad if he sat there and rubbed it all over me just to coat me in icing, but a little tease with cake smudged on the cheek isn't that big a deal. Getting mad over that is just stupid.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I think people are talking about the whole face smearing thing, for the most part.  Personally, I don't want ANY on my face, but if it could be mistaken for eating messily - ok.  I'll deal.  If I look like a 1 year old at a birthday party - fuuck no.

NuggetBrain

Cake smashing isn't just a little smudge on the cheek.  I don't think that's what anybody is talking about.  Even I wouldn't mind too much if he put a finger of frosting on my nose.  But smashing a cake into someone's face isn't going to just leave a smudge on their cheek or mess up their lipstick.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:a58c7554-718b-4059-a9f0-d63d0f68d750">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]Cake smashing isn't just a little smudge on the cheek.  I don't think that's what anybody is talking about.  Even I wouldn't mind too much if he put a finger of frosting on my nose.  But smashing a cake into someone's face isn't going to just leave a smudge on their cheek or mess up their lipstick.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

Hmm, I guess I've never actually seen someone completely cover their SO's face in cake. Every wedding I've been to or watched the tape of it was just a small thing, a bite of cake not the whole thing.

NuggetBrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_smashing-cake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c517058c-cefc-4d5a-b242-1830360ce047Post:98f63756-8f43-4270-b8c3-102ace3b4413">Re: Smashing the cake</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Smashing the cake : Hmm, I guess I've never actually seen someone completely cover their SO's face in cake. Every wedding I've been to or watched the tape of it was just a small thing, a bite of cake not the whole thing.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Even smashing a piece of cake is going to get it all over your face and probably in your hair.  I'm not okay with spending a sh*tton of money on makeup and hair, and then having buttercream smeared all over it.  I guess I'm just overly vain and brattly like that.  Not to mention, a wedding isn't exactly an appropriate place to have a minor food fight a la fifth grade lunchtime. 

budvar1012

What a hostile and stupid 'tradition'.

Leah918

to each his own!  I'd personally be annoyed if I had cake smashed all over my face...but if the picture was taken at just the right moment to capture the evil glare i'd have, it would be pretty funny....after the fact.

Maybe a lil' dot on the nose would be cute...

MyNameIsNot

I find it childish.

My DH commented that putting cake on my face was something a primate might do. 

fangsiting

If any of our delicious cake ends up on my face instead of in my mouth, I will be pissed. 

I also think it's childish and disrespectful. 

carrieoz_76

If the bride and groom both want to, I don't care, more power to 'em.  It's lame to do that to someone if they tell you they don't want it, and liable to get you slapped upside the head.

Me, I told FI a teeny bit of frosting on the edge of the mouth, or even the nose, and that's it.  So, no smash for us.

nightmare_of_beauty

I don't like it, but I know FI is going to do it. We always play around with each other like that, our first apartment we had a water fight, then we had a food fight, then we had a air freshner fight (yeah that wasn't so much fun). I've asked him about it and he says it's going to happen. I made him promise it would be a small piece and not to smash any on my hair or dress. So as long as it just a bit around my mouth (more like the frosting just around my mouth) I won't kill him.

And then he will try to run away so I can't return fire and run into the GM that is ALWAYS right behind him every time he's around.