Difficult MOH

DirtysAngel74

I'm not sure what to do... my matron of honor has been my best friend for over 20 years but for some unexplained reason when it comes to doing anything to prepare for the big day (such as shopping for and purchasing her dress and accessories) she just brushes me off. We have 2 1/2 months left. I have tried talking to her about this, and she assures me she wants to be my honor attendant. I'm getting a little stressed about the little time we have left to get everything done.

smokeybailey

What do you have left to get done other than for her to buy her dress?  Does she have to order it?  Tell her the deadline and if she misses it, she has self selected herself out of the wedding party.

Did it occur to you that maybe she has got something else going on?

[Deleted User]

Ditto Smokey. Could it be a financial issue?

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_difficult-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c58e5cd1-15c2-445d-8058-527a2a4cf3a9Post:bffae009-4025-4b2b-9c74-157b6c3c1bef">Difficult MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure what to do... my matron of honor has been my best friend for over 20 years but for some unexplained reason when it comes to doing anything to prepare for the big day (such as shopping for and purchasing her dress and accessories) she just brushes me off. We have 2 1/2 months left. I have tried talking to her about this, and she assures me she wants to be my honor attendant. I'm getting a little stressed about the little time we have left to get everything done.
Posted by DirtysAngel74[/QUOTE]

Maybe she is burnt out on your wedding stuff?

MissLeahM

Maybe she just doesn't want to pick out a dress. Have you showed her styles you liked? And if she already bought the dress, I don't see what else is really important.

FutureMrsTR

If she's only brushing you off when it comes to the wedding then I agree with pp and would think it's either a) a financial issue or b) she's tired of hearing about your wedding.  Maybe try getting together with her one-on-one for coffee or something and expressing your concerns.  As long as your concerns are just getting her a dress to wear and not other crazy requests (which it doesn't seem like you're doing, I'm just saying).

DirtysAngel74

I haven't required her to do anything with the wedding other than the dress... I have given her complete authority on what she wears as she is the only attendant and I want her to be as comfortable as possible. We are having a small informal beach wedding and I chose a color (red) that she looks and feels great in. I'm not requesting anything real fancy... we're keeping it all simple and inexpensive for everyone.

MissLeahM

I would just leave it up to her then. But you should absolutely get together with her and discuss non-wedding related things.

lalap69

Not everyone cares about weddings, it doesn't mean she doesn't support your marriage.  If you're letting her buy any red dress she still has time.  But if you're nagging her, I can see why she's dragging her feet on the issue.  She's an adult, let her manage this herself.  If she doesn't buy a dress by your wedding day, then she's taken herself out of the wedding.  There's no sense micro-managing her.

DirtysAngel74

I haven't been pushing... once every couple weeks I'll invite her to go shopping with me for the wedding. Other times I invite her to do other things that are non related to the wedding. Most of the time she comes up with a reason not to, or just doesn't call me back. It doesn't matter how often I try to find out if there's a problem or actually what the problem is, she just seems to sweep it under the carpet and ignore my attempts to hang out or talk.