To invite or not invite...

clvarnado

First off, my fiance' and I live in a tourist destination and are planning the wedding close to where we live. Our families are from two different states, and time zones. We have assembled a very short list of 'must invite' friends and family. We both have rather large extended families that we don't want to invite to the wedding because they would show up for the convience of the theme parks near us instead of our wedding.

What is the proper etiquette for having them involved but without them actually being invited to the wedding?

Calypso1977

why would you not want folks who are traveling to make a vacation out of it? 

i'm confused as to why you care if they go to disney world the day before or after yoru wedding.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c6d9a631-857d-4ff1-b5a1-f7b98f072fe4Post:0f8dff5b-2141-4ce2-92ed-3726353d8d76">To invite or not invite...</a>:
[QUOTE]First off, my fiance' and I live in a tourist destination and are planning the wedding close to where we live. Our families are from two different states, and time zones. We have assembled a very short list of 'must invite' friends and family. We both have rather large extended families that we don't want to invite to the wedding because they would show up for the convience of the theme parks near us instead of our wedding. What is the proper etiquette for having them involved but without them actually being invited to the wedding?
Posted by clvarnado[/QUOTE]
  What? First, who cares if they make a mini vacation out of a trip for your wedding so long as they show for the wedding.  Second, you can't have them involved without being invited so either invite them or don't.

Sing2phins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invite-not-invite-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c6d9a631-857d-4ff1-b5a1-f7b98f072fe4Post:0f8dff5b-2141-4ce2-92ed-3726353d8d76">To invite or not invite...</a>:
[QUOTE]What is the proper etiquette for having them involved but without them actually being invited to the wedding?
Posted by clvarnado[/QUOTE]
What does this even mean?

LiaDee

I'm with PPs. If you want them to be there, then invite them. Don't think about alterior motives, or vacation plans that may stem from their travel.

My mom and step dad are renting a beach house the week before my wedding for the family to relax and enjoy. I'm glad that they are getting a nice vacation out of having to travel 6+ hours for my wedding!

Pirata13

Yeah I don't get why you care if they come and make a mini-vaca out of it.  As long as they aren't expecting to stay at your house for free, it shouldn't be a problem.  Many of FI's family are from OOT and a couple have already said they enjoy the city and are spending a couple days here. And even contemplating coming a day earlier than planned to go to a concert. What do I care if they're hungover for the rehearsal or the wedding? As long as FI isn't hungover or looking like crap or sunburned lobster red for the wedding, I don't care.

If you can accomodate them spacewise, why not invite them?  But otherwise, no you cannot involve them in wedding related events or activities without inviting them to the wedding.

missy68

That's EXACTLY why we chose Las Vegas, so people WOULD have things to do, besides just travel for a wedding. Why not? I don't quite understand the logic there.