STD addresses

KatyRoseM

So my friend is moving in with his girlfriend in a few months.  Clearly she is included on his invite, however due to Fi's family planning things crazy in advance we are sending out STD's now.  Do we include her on his even though they live in different states?  Do I send her one even though I don't know her?  Do I just send him one, addressed to just him, and then add her to the formal invite?  
I don't want to be rude, I just am not sure how to do this.

lauralaur

I personally would address one to both since you are planning on inviting both of them anyway. That way it gives them a heads up that she will be invited too.

frenchy730

I am not sure about the etiquette behind this, but it seems most logical to just send it to your friend, then include the girlfriend on the invite when they go out. Heaven forbid something goes wrong once they move in together, and then you are stuck with the awkward situation of having sent someone you don't know a save-the-date card.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_std-addresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c77c8979-1eae-4efd-9e30-32ef9ac98d93Post:49d34069-f78d-4ae3-9ee1-02d85f64521e">Re: STD addresses</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not sure about the etiquette behind this, but it seems most logical to just send it to your friend, then include the girlfriend on the invite when they go out. Heaven forbid something goes wrong once they move in together, and then you are stuck with the awkward situation of having sent someone you don't know a save-the-date card.
Posted by frenchy730[/QUOTE]
This is what I would do.

JennaV26

I'd just send a STD to him with his name only and wait to include her name on the formal invite.

I didn't include any SOs names on the STDs and thank Jeezy I didn't because some situations occured where we've decided not to invite said SOs (i.e. breakups, etc.)

KatyRoseM

Thanks, I thought I should just send it to him, I just didn't want to insult her or something.  Thanks for the reality check.

melissamc2

For cases like this, we sent the Save the Date to Mr. Joe Schmoe and Ms. Sally Smith to just one address.  We trusted that they would discuss it with one another.  Plus, there are a lot of couples that truly enjoy getting those first "couple" invitations and cards.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_std-addresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c77c8979-1eae-4efd-9e30-32ef9ac98d93Post:f8005d9e-cd53-44c6-974d-5369ca181ad4">Re: STD addresses</a>:
[QUOTE]For cases like this, we sent the Save the Date to Mr. Joe Schmoe and Ms. Sally Smith to just one address.  We trusted that they would discuss it with one another.  Plus, there are a lot of couples that truly enjoy getting those first "couple" invitations and cards. :)
Posted by melissamc2[/QUOTE]

This for us too. If they break up... well, you don't HAVE to invite the ex if you aren't friends with the person independently, so don't worry about it.

parker624

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_std-addresses-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c77c8979-1eae-4efd-9e30-32ef9ac98d93Post:f8005d9e-cd53-44c6-974d-5369ca181ad4">Re: STD addresses</a>:
[QUOTE]For cases like this, we sent the Save the Date to Mr. Joe Schmoe and Ms. Sally Smith to just one address.  We trusted that they would discuss it with one another.  Plus, there are a lot of couples that truly enjoy getting those first "couple" invitations and cards. :)
Posted by melissamc2[/QUOTE]

FI and I were long distance for a long time, and invited to a lot of wedding during this time.  This is how our friends who were getting married did it.   1 STD/ 1 Invitation to 1 of us, even though we were in different states.  I would just see it when I went to visit, and vice versa.  If they're moving in together, they are obviously very serious and he'll probably tell her about the STD as soon as he gets it.