Ceremony Reading Etiquette

millegirl

Hi Knotties!

We are planning out wedding for August and we are working on our wedding ceremony/readings. My godmother will be doing a short reading. We are having a secular ceremony for the most part and neither one of us practice any religion We are not anti bible in general, but we both feel the traditional bible readings are a bit boring and inappropriate because we are not Christian. My godmother suggested a reading from the Bible that we both find a bit unappealing for various reasons. Is it traditional for us to select the readings? I would never want to hurt her feelings and we don't hate the reading, we just dosen't feel like it suits our ceremony or our personalities.

Suggestions?

Thanks
Mattie

[Deleted User]

It's traditional for you to select readings, but if you're having a secular ceremony, you don't have to have any readings at all--or you can have just one. Whatever you want.

I would just tell her exactly what you said, or if you want to spare her feelings just say, "Thanks so much for your suggestion, we'll definitely think about it." And then later, when she asks, say you decided to go with something else.

You might look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 if you want to appease your godmother. It's fairly non-religious, and we're using it to appease the Catholic family counterparts in our secular ceremony:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails.

rachelm13

You are the ones to choose the readings.  If having any bible/religious readings is not your thing, you can always take from major classic literature.  I would suggest staying away from Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey...

FWIW, when my BF got married 2 years ago, her readings were from Shakespeare and tear jerkers.

Calypso1977

typcially you chose the readings.

it could be that your godmother is not comfortable with a secular wedding/reading.  if that's the case, then maybe she should participate in your ceremony in some other way or simply be an honored guest.  you cant just tell her that she cant do a reading now, tho, since you already asked her, but id maybe talk to her about her thoughts/feelings and try to gauge her comfort level.

AddieCake

It's possible she just doesnt know that the readings can come from places other than the Bible. Maybe ask her if there is a reason she chose what she chose or if she would be open to reading something else. 

renegade gaucho

You don't have to have a reading from the Bible.  You can use a secular poem or excerpt from a story you like.  My husband and I had a reading from John Stuart Mill's "The Subjection of Women" about how a marriage is a partnership of equals and democracy begins at home.  If you google wedding readings, I'm sure you can find something secular that you both like and your godmother will feel comfortable reading.

vanityink

We're having our wedding at a church, and neither of our readings are religious (our church is liberal enough to allow that, I know some aren't). FI and I each picked one. Mine is a letter from Abigail Adams to John Adams, his is a poem.

lilphillips14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reading-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8244beb-c19f-46cb-874a-1f9e06f8e545Post:a3870f32-67b4-4314-855a-c1266b1041ae">Re: Ceremony Reading Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]It's traditional for you to select readings, but if you're having a secular ceremony, you don't have to have any readings at all--or you can have just one. Whatever you want. I would just tell her exactly what you said, or if you want to spare her feelings just say, "Thanks so much for your suggestion, we'll definitely think about it." And then later, when she asks, say you decided to go with something else. You might look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 if you want to appease your godmother. It's fairly non-religious, and we're using it to appease the Catholic family counterparts in our secular ceremony: <strong>Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails.</strong>
Posted by von1976[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm having a secular ceremony as I am atheist and my FI agnostic, and I love this one. I think it's universal, and if your godmother really wants something from the Bible, I'd use this one to appease all parties. It's still beautiful.

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