Ceremony to Reception distance

aerotiff

For those of you familiar with/would like to look this up:
We are planning on having our reception in downtown Lancaster, PA.  In fact we were hoping for both ceremony and reception, but to get the venue for both is cost prohibitive.  Ithan found a beaaaauuuutfil place in Mount Joy, PA to hold the ceremony.  I asked my mom... and him.... and neither are concerned about the distance between the two.

My mom said "You can't please everybody.  It's more commonplace than you think to have the ceremony and reception in two locations.  You will be just fine."

Ithan says "This is our day!!  If we want the ceremony and reception in two places, then we should make US happy!!"  (he is, for some reason, quite concerned about the ceremony location.  and us being happy.)

I've done some hefty wedding traveling, as I'm sure we all have, involving cross country flights, local road trips (under 3 hours) lengthy road trips (over 14 hours).  I've been to receptions that were at least a half hour away from the ceremony.  I've never balked at the idea (WELL, Miami to OBX, NC was a b***h).

But still, I'm playing anxious hang wringer, despite knowing both mom and fiance are okay with it (and are they the only two who matter??  LOL)

So, if you can weigh in:  Mount Joy (Hoping to have ceremony in outdoor gazebo at Cameron Estates) to Lancaster (Mulberry Art Studio I hope).  15.4 miles, 22 minutes according to Google; mostly a straight shot on a highway.

Reasonable?  Or am I asking too much?

Thanks everybody

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-distance-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8fa300c-a254-4bce-acca-413e6cc9c745Post:13b10697-cc98-4592-90cc-2c2550ee0128">Ceremony to Reception distance</a>:
[QUOTE]For those of you familiar with/would like to look this up: We are planning on having our reception in downtown Lancaster, PA.  In fact we were hoping for both ceremony and reception, but to get the venue for both is cost prohibitive.  Ithan found a beaaaauuuutfil place in Mount Joy, PA to hold the ceremony.  I asked my mom... and him.... and neither are concerned about the distance between the two. My mom said "You can't please everybody.  It's more commonplace than you think to have the ceremony and reception in two locations.  You will be just fine." Ithan says "This is our day!!  If we want the ceremony and reception in two places, then we should make US happy!!"  (he is, for some reason, quite concerned about the ceremony location.  and us being happy.) I've done some hefty wedding traveling, as I'm sure we all have, involving cross country flights, local road trips (under 3 hours) lengthy road trips (over 14 hours).  I've been to receptions that were at least a half hour away from the ceremony.  I've never balked at the idea (WELL, Miami to OBX, NC was a b***h). But still, I'm playing anxious hang wringer, despite knowing both mom and fiance are okay with it (and are they the only two who matter??  LOL) So, if you can weigh in:  Mount Joy (Hoping to have ceremony in outdoor gazebo at Cameron Estates) to Lancaster (Mulberry Art Studio I hope).  15.4 miles, 22 minutes according to Google; mostly a straight shot on a highway. Reasonable?  Or am I asking too much? Thanks everybody :)
Posted by aerotiff[/QUOTE]

<div>I think it's fine.  I've traveled up to 35 minutes between ceremony and reception before.  I think the fact that it's mostly highway helps a lot too.</div>

shortee426

It is definitely OK to have the ceremony and reception at 2 different venues.  I think as long as its under a 30 minute drive you are good.  Just make sure that your guests are able to get into the reception venue if they manage to get their really early.  Ideally, have cocktails/apps ready for when the first guest arrives.

Loopyseven

I think that's fine.  Typically, we advise to try to keep travel under 30 minutes.

lauraf1202

I think that's definitely reasonable.  I once had to drive an hour and a half through the boonies to get to a reception venue (I still give that bride and groom crap for it), so compared to them everyone under half an hour sounds lovely and considerate. 

stillundecided4

Mt. Joy and Lancaster are NOT that far away. Go ahead and do it. I wouldn't even think twice about it.

GoBucksOH

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the distance between your two venues. Book it and check it off the list!

Mrs.B6302007

This really could have read, "Our ceremony and reception are at locations about 15 miles/25 minutes apart.  Is this acceptable or too far to ask guests to drive?"

I concur with the others; it's just fine.

garcias1

Totally fine.  I've been to weddings where the ceremony and reception are an hour apart.  A lot of the time, if a ceremony is in a church, you don't have much choice on the ceremony venue.  It can be hard to find a reception venue that can accomodate all of your guests for the right price that also happens to be near your church.  22 minutes is not too far at all.  I love the Lancaster area, I'm sure your wedding will be fabulous.

tenofcups4me

Just about every wedding I've ever attended has had the ceremony and reception in the same place, so I would find the travel odd to begin with, but 20 minutes doesn't seem that far. I'm curious though -- since neither one of those places is a religious venue, why wouldn't you just have the ceremony and reception at the same place instead of travel between two separate places?

kellyjellybelly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-distance-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8fa300c-a254-4bce-acca-413e6cc9c745Post:ea1d25c5-9e75-40cb-9a42-e826ee165b54">Re: Ceremony to Reception distance</a>:
[QUOTE]Just about every wedding I've ever attended has had the ceremony and reception in the same place, so I would find the travel odd to begin with, but 20 minutes doesn't seem that far. I'm curious though -- since neither one of those places is a religious venue, why wouldn't you just have the ceremony and reception at the same place instead of travel between two separate places?
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]
She said in the OP it was cost prohibitive.

Summer2011Bride

Out of every wedding I've been to, only ONE has had the reception and ceremony in the same place. It is common to have them separately.

LIke PP's, I think anything under 30 min. is totally fine.

tenofcups4me

Yeah, I did miss that. Though I still question it -- seems awfully strange that it's cheaper to have a ceremony somewhere else than to add it to the costs of the reception venue. And her ceremony location also does receptions so it could go that way too. It just seems altogether odd to me to have to travel from one non-religious venue to another non-religious venue.

kellyjellybelly

What does it matter if it's a religious venue or not?  

GoBucksOH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-distance-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8fa300c-a254-4bce-acca-413e6cc9c745Post:67b6de1c-c604-444e-b21b-fbbc47e61cf3">Re: Ceremony to Reception distance</a>:
[QUOTE]What does it matter if it's a religious venue or not?  
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]

I was thinking the same thing. I don't get where you're going with this.....

mica178

I'm going to try to read tenofcup's mind, but I think with religious ceremonies, you're often times getting married in a church or temple, and many of these places don't have reception facilities, so guests will need to go to a second location.  If you are not bound by a specific ceremony site, why not try to find a venue that has bot a ceremony and reception area for the convenience of your guests?

But OP mentioned that this was a cost issue.

Also, in the SF area, there are  bunch of secular ceremony sites that are very popular that have no nearby reception site.  It happens.  It's a pain, but what can you do?

I think keeping the drive under 30 minutes is fine.  Make sure you have directions in your invitations so people have an idea of how much they'll be driving.

kellyjellybelly

It really bothers me when people says things are ok to do because of a religious venue or whatnot.  Cause most religious venues I know do have a space for a reception.  So why is it ok for people to not use that space for their reception, but it's not ok for someone who is not having a religious ceremony to change venues?  

Perhaps she just likes the space better, maybe someone she knows owns it and shes getting a good deal, maybe her venue doesn't provide an outdoor space for ceremonies, maybe it's just ugly.  Who cares.  If it was 2 hours apart, I can see the problem.  20 minutes?  Come on, why question why she wants to use a different venue?  That wasn't even her question.

/end rant.

kellyjellybelly

that wasn't directed at you Mica

Beachy730

Ditto KJB.  TBH I don't like when they are in the same venue, but I'm also the person who likes the gap between weddings, and if it's in the same venue there's usually no gap.  

Technically we could have probably had our reception at the church if we wanted to have it in the school cafeteria and gymnasium, since they church and school are connected.  If I didn't have a church wedding I probably would have done at outdoor ceremony or found some other location.  But we knew where we wanted our reception, and while they have told us that they do ceremonies there as well, we thought the ceremony area was ugly and would never have chosen it.  20 minutes is NBD to drive.  Technically our ceremony and reception sites could have been 20 minutes apart if you took city streets to get there, but it was about 10 minutes on the parkway. 

mica178

Don't worry kjb, I wasn't offended.  

I've driven between venues for religious weddings, so I don't see why I wouldn't do the same for non-religious ones.  Yes, it's more convenient to have everything in one place, but if that's not a possibility, then it's not a possibility.  Just make sure your driving directions are clear and hopefully make sure that parking is convenient.

tenofcups4me

Thanks, Mica, that was my line of thinking. If it's important to someone to be married in a church, synagogue, whatever, I can see having the ceremony there and then moving to a reception somewhere else.

But I've never attended a wedding at a non-religious venue that then moved to another non-religious venue for the reception. So I think it's weird and I do think that's part of answering the question. As a guest, I wouldn't find 20 minutes in and of itself that offputting, but I would find it weird (and a little annoying) to go from one place to another for no *apparent* reason.

Of course, the OP can do whatever she wants for whatever reason she wants. But she asked for opinions about the drive/distance so I'm sharing mine.

kellyjellybelly

Remember pharmacybride?  I got into it with her one day about something like this.  Well I think it was that she was saying gaps are ok when they're for religious ceremonies/receptions but not when it's not a religious ceremony.  

mica178

We see all sorts of excuses for everything under the sun on this board.

We could have had our reception at our church, but the grounds are vast, and the walk to the reception site would be almost a quarter mile, so our elderly guests (and probably everyone else -- who wants to walk that far on gravel/grass in heels?) would have to drive anyway.  I didn't feel right planning a reception with loud music and free flowing booze on church grounds, so we had our reception at a country club within a 20 minute drive of the church.  It was all good.  But there were other churches we looked at that had no option of a reception site.

kellyjellybelly

Oh, I know it's not always a viable option, and I've only been to 1 wedding at a church that did have the reception in the church basement.  

I was just commenting on the fact that whether it was a religious ceremony or not was irrelevant to the question.  At least to me.  

[Deleted User]

I think that is perfectly fine and acceptable. Usually anything less than an hour or so is ok. Anything more than that is frowned upon.

mica178

kjb, you have the memory of an elephant.   I could not have pulled up the pharmacybride reference off the top of my head.  

kellyjellybelly

she really rubbed me the wrong way.  and her SN is easy to remember

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

That's reasonable. I'd keep it under 1/2 an hour. If you can get a shuttle, I'd still keep it under 45 minutes. However, if you're sure it's around 20 minutes and traffic in the area won't change that, you are totally fine.

garcias1

I'm sort of in the opposite camp from some of the PPs that thinks that reception and ceremony in the same place can be boring (I'm more on board with beach).  I've been to 2 weddings where the reception and ceremony were at the same place.  The rest of the weddings I've been to (probably about 15 or so) were in Roman Catholic churches and then had the reception elsewhere (I've never been aware of Roman Catholic churches that have spaces for receptions).  OP, in your case, I think it will be nice for guests because they get to see two different parts of PA.

lilcassers

Reasonable! Our ceremony & reception venue are are half hour apart. The guests have 2 hours inbetween to get there and if they arrive early, there will be snacks before dinner. As long as they aren't sitting there starving, I think it's fine.

aerotiff

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-reception-distance-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c8fa300c-a254-4bce-acca-413e6cc9c745Post:ea1d25c5-9e75-40cb-9a42-e826ee165b54">Re: Ceremony to Reception distance</a>:
[QUOTE]Just about every wedding I've ever attended has had the ceremony and reception in the same place, so I would find the travel odd to begin with, but 20 minutes doesn't seem that far. I'm curious though -- since neither one of those places is a religious venue, why wouldn't you just have the ceremony and reception at the same place instead of travel between two separate places?
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Well, at the risk of pissing off <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=8650215862672856&plckUserId=8650215862672856" target="_blank" class="username_knot">Mrs.B6302007</a> by being longwinded, the reason we are having the wedding in Lancaster vs NJ is cost and look.  If I have to pay a decent amount of money for this party, I do not want it in a traditional banquet hall; that's not our style and we would rather serve baked ziti in the backyard than shell out $$$$ for something we don't like.  Nothing in NJ had the look... anything remotely close was FAR out of budget.  My #1 choice in Lancaster was prohibitively expensive.  My #2 choice for looks that fit criteria (such as please don't force me to use your crappy onsite caterer) has terrible ceremony options.  Pay an extra $800+ to have ceremony and reception in same room and change the look of the room during cocktail hour?  Ithan said "No way"; plus neither of us were keen on the idea of having the ceremony in the same room.  He found a place he LOVED for ceremony (he does not want a church ceremony.  Yes, I guess I lost that one), but it's in Mount Joy, outside of the desired location for a reception (lots of people coming in from way out of state and I want them to be in an area with plenty to do).  I wanted to keep everything at one place for convenience, but we are not wealthy, so we have to make little compromises.  I get plum for wedding colors... he gets garden gazebo for ceremony.  :)

That's why!  :D