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Wedding Etiquette Forum
pinkpinot
member
Engagement Party vs. Housewarming Party
All the talk on the Just Engaged board has me thinking and I'm playing devil's advocate here:
Why is it not ok to throw yourself an engagement party (where gifts are expected) but it is ok to throw yourself a housewarming party (where gifts are also expected)? They are both essentially celebrations, usually for a couple. What gives?
EDIT: In my experience I've never been to a housewarming party hosted by someone other than the new homeowners.
Why is it not ok to throw yourself an engagement party (where gifts are expected) but it is ok to throw yourself a housewarming party (where gifts are also expected)? They are both essentially celebrations, usually for a couple. What gives?
EDIT: In my experience I've never been to a housewarming party hosted by someone other than the new homeowners.
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Re: Engagement Party vs. Housewarming Party
And I would think a housewarming party is more of a gift-giving event than an engagement party. I personally don't see it as being much different. *Shrug*
Note-I haven't been to many engagement or house-warming parties, so take this with a grain of salt.
I think the difference is that engagement parties are to celebrate your engagement, and the real purpose of them is for the two families/parents to meet. So typically therefore hosted by one of the sets of parents. A housewarming party is for you to open your new home to your friends and family and host them for the evening. I see a slight difference there, but not huge.
My co-worker told someone she should register for her housewarming. My jaw dropped.
and the only engagement parties I know of were thrown by parents or friends of the couple, never by the couple. but I don't think I've ever actually been to one of those.
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[QUOTE]I've never been to a housewarming where they gave real gifts. Maybe wine, but nothing big. My co-worker told someone she should register for her housewarming. My jaw dropped.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
^ this. I've been to 2 housewarming parties and each had a registry. The gifts do not need to be expensive, like you said wine or food but I definitely wouldn't go empty handed. I feel engagement parties are the same way, I wouldn't purchase something big - probably wine/food.
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[QUOTE]Maybe because you're already getting a gift at the wedding so you shouldn't ask for extra presents on top of that? And with a housewarming it's just the one time.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]
What if you only get engaged once? It is still only 1 time <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
Its an open house, its for people to see the new home.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Party vs. Housewarming Party : ^ this. I've been to 2 housewarming parties and each had a registry. The gifts do not need to be expensive, like you said wine or food but I definitely wouldn't go empty handed. I feel engagement parties are the same way, I wouldn't purchase something big - probably wine/food.
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]
I never knew anyone that actually registered for anything besides a wedding or a baby.
I think of it more like a hostess gift. I wouldn't go to dinner at someone's house without bringing wine or something. A housewarming would get the same gift from me.
I would bring wine, but I bring wine and/or flowers to EVERY party. So no matter what you call it, I will show up with a "gift."
Now with more wedded bliss.
I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.
"Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
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Registering for a housewarming? Really? Cause you've got the big pants on for buying a house, but you can't buy your own furnishings?
|| WEDDING BIO + SITE = BIOSITE? || Baby DIY & Wedding DIY || we've been knotted
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
[QUOTE]I didn't think engagement parties were gift-giving parties. We didn't expect or receive any at ours. It was just a party for the families to meet.
Posted by buttaflai[/QUOTE]
I agree. I never thought they were gift grabby. So many people are calling engagement parties gift grabby that I don't understand how a housewarming party isn't gift grabby. If you throw a housewarming party, people will bring you gifts. I'm not talking about the value of the gifts but I'm sure you would get wine or something small for your house, maybe a gift card. I just don't see how it's tacky for one but not the other.
Of course, call me an asshole, but I've hosted my own birthday. Usually I invite people out for my birthday. Which I think is more of a "hey, do you want to do something this weekend?" than a gift grab. However, this year, I did send the invitation, and I also hosted the whole thing - as in, we had it at a karaoke bar I rented, I paid for drinks, etc. I think the only thing my guests paid for was the $2 valet parking lot if they chose to use it.
Okay, actually, now that I think of it, almost every year I've had a friend of FI cohosting my birthday. The year I rented a hotel suite was amazing.
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Then again, we committed an etiquette faux pas and threw our own engagement party, not realizing until it was mostly planned that it was gauche to do so. It ended up being fine anyway, and was surprisingly much less "shower-y" than our housewarming. Go figure.
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Msmery- I also threw myself a party last birthday. In fact, I throw myself one every year. No one else is going to do it, I pay for everything and 9 times out of 10 I don't get presents anyway.
[QUOTE]And I don't generally think hosting your own engagement party is gift grabby either. I just think it's really tacky because you are basically honoring yourself and asking others to do so as well.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Does this mean then that birthday parties should never be hosted by yourself? Because I have had many a birthday party that H and I put together which was essentially hosted by us in honour of one of our birthdays.
Even here though, in the land where etiquette norms tend to stray far from those of the states, generally speaking the family are the ones who host the party. If they're not listed as official hosts, they'll be there and make their own thank-you speech which makes it clear that they've had some role in putting the party together. Officially, my parents were 'hosts' for our e-party, and they did contribute some money towards it as our engagement gift, but in reality we were the ones who organised the whole thing.
Now with more wedded bliss.
I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.
"Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
"smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
"The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board
Even with a housewarming party, I'm not a huge fan. Why not just say, "Come over and see the new place and let's party!'
It's not YET another occasion to buy you stuff.
Housewarming parties here people usually bring a little something - wine, house plant, candle & holder, etc. Nothing big. I've heard of people registering, but always a friend of a friend. . . that mythical tacky person that people talk about.
Birthdays. . . generally, in our crowd, the birthday guy or gal picks a restaurant and a time & people meet up for dinner. Generally, the group will contribute a couple $$ each to the birthday person's bill, such that they usually eat free that night, but not always. No outright gifts, though.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485