S/O vow renewal/anniversary party etiquette

happyfor25

Since throwing a party for oneself is improper, is it improper to host an anniversary party?  I wondered this when planning my own and often we advise those who ask about vow renewals to just have an anniversary party.  If the couple renews vows, then does it become more of a reception for the guests who came to witness? Or does that not have any bearing on the etiquette involved?  I'm just wondering...

NOLAbridealmost

You've stumped the judge on this one. I always thought it was okay to throw your own anniversary party, but i think technically, yeah, an anniversary party should be thrown for the couple and not BY the couple. Otherwise how is it any different than an engagement party which you aren't supposed to throw for yourself?

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-vow-renewalanniversary-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ca8a4813-32fa-465f-af11-89e645d1e5d2Post:420ae792-9c3f-45f9-aa20-4384b6801f88">S/O vow renewal/anniversary party etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Since throwing a party for oneself is improper, is it improper to host an anniversary party?  I wondered this when planning my own and often we advise those who ask about vow renewals to just have an anniversary party.  If the couple renews vows, then does it become more of a reception for the guests who came to witness? Or does that not have any bearing on the etiquette involved?  I'm just wondering...
Posted by happyfor25[/QUOTE]

I guess I'm not sure what your question is.

Couples can host their own anniversary parties and vow renewals.

Vow renewals are typically only held for "milestone" anniversaries. 10+ years, etc. Or if the couple has been through a recent challenge, etc.

happyfor25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-vow-renewalanniversary-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ca8a4813-32fa-465f-af11-89e645d1e5d2Post:4307ff9a-4332-4424-a983-9ff2ff622406">Re: S/O vow renewal/anniversary party etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to S/O vow renewal/anniversary party etiquette : I guess I'm not sure what your question is. Couples can host their own anniversary parties and vow renewals. Vow renewals are typically only held for "milestone" anniversaries. 10+ years, etc. Or if the couple has been through a recent challenge, etc.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

I understand and agree with that.  My question is whether it's actually proper to host one's own anniversary party?

itzMS

I guess the way I look at it is, how on earth would anyone remember your anniversary (or care enough) to throw you a party?

Thinking of the weddings I've been to in the past several years, I might remember the approximate month or year they were. I guess.

I don't think anniversary parties are all that common except for 25 years and 50 years. At least in my area...

Out of curiousity, why are you planning an anniversary party?

happyfor25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_so-vow-renewalanniversary-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ca8a4813-32fa-465f-af11-89e645d1e5d2Post:34f8e9e2-fa92-410d-bec6-affd1bd50c3b">Re: S/O vow renewal/anniversary party etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess the way I look at it is, how on earth would anyone remember your anniversary (or care enough) to throw you a party? Thinking of the weddings I've been to in the past several years, I might remember the approximate month or year they were. I guess. I don't think anniversary parties are all that common except for 25 years and 50 years. At least in my area... Out of curiousity, why are you planning an anniversary party?
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

I'm not planning one any longer, H and I had a 25th anniversary party and reaffirmed our vows several weeks ago.  I would certainly never expect anyone to remember or host a an anniversary party for anyone (except maybe children if financially able), hence the reason for my musing. 

daria24

In my circle, the children of the couple usually host the 25th or 50th anniversary party, but I wouldn't side-eye a couple that throws their own. Other than a nice card, or a small gift like a photo album of the couple throughout the years, I've never seen gifts at those milestone parties, so it doesn't seem like a gift grabby move to host your own. 

happyfor25

daria...that really helps clarify it.  An expectation of gifts would definitely make a difference in how I would view self-hosted parties.

Stage...Yes, it makes sense.  The situation would really influence the level of "offensiveness"?

Kate61487

I've also only actually seen anniversary parties hosted by the children. But I agree with Stage that I think while maybe it's technically incorrect it's not a big deal and doesn't really inconvenience anyone.

I guess my parents kinda/sorta hosted their own 30th anniversary party.  They were married Memorial Day weekend and every year host a memorial day party (with no mention of their anniversary at all, of course).  My brother and I approached them about celebrating their 30th and they didn't want to cancel the BBQ because it's tradition; so we kinda just merged it.  They still didn't mention it to any of their friends, so they were all just there for a BBQ, but my brother and I got them 30 gifts that sort of told the story of how they met and our childhood, so the opening drew a crowd.