I have seen similar questions asked along this line, but nothing exactly like what I would like to know.
I have a bio dad who has been in and out, mostly out, of my life since I was 10 (now 37). I have a step-dad who has been in my life since I was 12. I don't consider either one my dad although I love my step-dad very much (extremely long complicated story).
As of right now my bio dad is not in the picture, hasn't been for years, and I don't plan on having him in my life in the future. All that being said, there is a part of me that knows he does care for me even if he is really crappy about showing it. I also know his mother does care for me and overall is a nice lady.
My question: Do I send him and his side of the family a letter letting them know about my previous divorce, engagement, and upcoming marriage before or after the actual wedding? (Like I said, it's been awhile since I've had contact) I don't want to seem like I'm looking for a gift, nor do I want to deal with the potential awkwardness of him wanting to be invited. But I also don't want to be rude and only fill in the details after the fact. Any advice on which one I should do?