Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rude friends?

Tell me what you guys think of this.. I thought it was a little strange.

My Aunt is throwing me a bridal shower next month.. (Yes, I know it's early and I've mentioned this before, but the reason is because I will be leaving soon and only get back a few weeks before the wedding.)

Anyway, so the invites went out for the shower about a month ago, and the invites said RSVP to  aunt@hotmail.com.

At a girls weekend this past Saturday, one of my friends brought up my bridal shower and then said "I'm a huge jerk. I haven't RSVPd yet. Can you e-mail your Aunt and let her know I'm coming?" 

To which, 7 of my other friends all said, OH YEAH! I'm coming too - can you just let her know?? 

So I sent my Aunt an e-mail today with the list of the 8 girls that are attending, but later felt weird about it - -- why couldn't they have RSPVd on their own?? 
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Re: Rude friends?

  • Why'd she say you're a huge jerk?
    Yes, they should have just emailed her themselves to RSVP
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ccf2bf00-28c5-4d4d-abf7-1036ef24e5e1Post:0dbe0818-ae37-4aa3-b1bb-a0fd9f399f1d">Re: Rude friends?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why'd she say you're a huge jerk? Yes, they should have just emailed her themselves to RSVP
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, my friend called herself a huge jerk.. for not replying yet.</div>
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  • I hope they don't believe in karma for when they get married or host parties like where people rsvp.
  • Yes it's rude in sense that they didn't RSVP. Obviously, your friend had a "duh" moment.  You could have told them that you rather they RSVP according to the invite, but you agreed to pass the message on.  I don't think it's the end of the world.  At least your aunt knows how many people are coming, which is the important thing.
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  • I don't know if it's as rude as it is lazy. A quick email is all they needed to send, but I know certain people in my family who would have done the same thing.

    Sorry you had to handle it!
  • This happened to me - with several of my bridesmaids.  I actually didn't think anything of it.  
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  • It's lazy and rude but not that big a deal since they realized it.
  • It's annoying, yes
  • LAaaazy.  Very much, but you should have responded with, "ladies, I have a lot to think about and not sure that I'll remember to tell aunt so-and-so,"  my philosophy is kinda like this, you teach people how to treat you.
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
  • her982her982 member
    10 Comments
    They probably all could have emailed your aunt right in front of you on their phones. I can maaaaaybe see not snail mailing a card back but asking you to email her when they all can do it right then and there is ridic.
  • I've come to the conclusion long ago that people suck when it comes to remembering to reply and then actually REPLYING.
    9.17.2010
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  • none of my shower guests RSVP'd to the person they were supposed to. they RSVP'd to me. it was minorly annoying but nothing for me to complain about. like PPs said, the important part is the hostess knowing how many will be there.
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  • I think sometimes people feel akward rsvping to the person who sent the shower invite because they have no idea who that person is.  I know I've gotten invites to showesr and looked at the return address and wondered who this person is and why are they sending me something. 
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  • edited July 2010
    A lot of people just aren't good about rsvping.  It isn't born out of intentional rudeness.  People usually just don't think about the importantance of rsvping unless they have hosted something that required it and know.  More often people just see it as "nice, but not essential."  Which sucks yeah,  but what do you do? 

    And some people are weird about communicating with people they don't know.  This seems to be more common in younger adults who arent quite used to interacting with strangers on a regular basis yet.   Maybe thats going on too. 

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  • I can see a friend or two, but 8? Laziness. Theyprobably saw an easier way to RSVP when your first friend opened her mouth.
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  • I forgot to RSVP to the wedding me and my husband were both in as part of the bridal party this past week.  But I assumed they knew we were coming.  Then I forgot to RSVP to a wedding we are going to in Lake Tahoe in 2 weeks, but had H call to do it.  Also forgot to RSVP to the brides shower, but I did get the invite 6 days before the shower.

    I am not the most thoughtful friend.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rude-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ccf2bf00-28c5-4d4d-abf7-1036ef24e5e1Post:7c668355-483a-42f6-829f-c7c949b28500">Re: Rude friends?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I forgot to RSVP to the wedding me and my husband were both in as part of the bridal party this past week.  But I assumed they knew we were coming.  Then I forgot to RSVP to a wedding we are going to in Lake Tahoe in 2 weeks, but had H call to do it.  Also forgot to RSVP to the brides shower, but I did get the invite 6 days before the shower<strong>. I am not the most thoughtful friend.</strong>
    Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>No, no you are not...</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks for all of the replies ladies. I appreciate it. I don't think it's a coincidence that the only friends that did RSVP themselves were my married or engaged friends.. maybe they just understand the rules of etiquette that much more. 

    </div>
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