Too Much Honeymoon Advice!

stelhe

FI and I decided about a month ago to go to Santa Barbara for a short honeymoon.  He doesn't have paid vacation time where he works so taking a long trip on top of the costs of the wedding AND losing his income for that time is just not possible.  Here's the problem, we seem to be the only ones excited about our honeymoon!  Every time I mention where we're going, the person gets a sour look on their face and says "why there?" 
Is anyone else having this problem?  I expected to get a ton of unsolicited advice about the wedding planning and have been able to tune out the criticisms but this is really bugging me.  I'd love to take a 2 week tropical vacation with my new husband but I don't want to come back to piles of debt.  How do I politely side step the honeymoon questions without sounding like a stuck up bridezilla?

J&K10910

Why does it matter?  If you guys are excited, that's what matters.  I mean, I get having people rag on your honeymoon can be a boner killer, but they're not going.

It works for you.  It's a heck of a lot smarter than going into debt.  You can always say "Oh we're just doing a short vacation for now since FI doesn't get PTO, hopefully we'll be able to plan a fancier trip later" when people ask you.  Or when they react like that you can say "Because that's where want to go" and change the subject.

akhensley81

We're just taking a short camping trip to FI's family's property a few hours north of here. All I've said is that we'll take a trip to Aruba or something in the winter, when the weather's not so nice here and when we have more money saved up. That usually shuts them up.

But seriously, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And that's pretty rude of them!

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_much-honeymoon-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cd0b351b-876a-4e7f-91be-466422f24750Post:1793acfe-9e9f-4d6f-97b1-073dc5910935">Re: Too Much Honeymoon Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why does it matter?  If you guys are excited, that's what matters.  I mean, I get having people rag on your honeymoon can be a boner killer, but they're not going. It works for you.  It's a heck of a lot smarter than going into debt.  You can always say "Oh we're just doing a short vacation for now since FI doesn't get PTO, hopefully we'll be able to plan a fancier trip later" when people ask you.  Or when they react like that you can say "Because that's where want to go" and change the subject.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Listen to box kitty, she is very wise!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

People reacting that way to your honeymoon plans is rude.  It's not always about having a lavish and ridiculous getaway and it sounds like you and your guy have the right mindset - it's about spending a little time away from everyone else and celebrating your new life together.

My sister and her husband just did a quick road trip around the country for about two weeks.  One of my friends did a VERY short honeymoon at a mountain cabin for a weekend.  Really, any trip that you and your fiance choose and are excited about is perfect.  It's no one else's business to tell you how to take your honeymoon.

sarah0725

Yeah, just simply stating the reason is plenty.

FI and I want to go to Ireland, but we've been looking at package deals at places like Travelzoo and it seems like they're a lot cheaper in the fall. So we're considering going on a mini-moon right after the wedding, and then waiting for a few months so we can get a really great deal on our dream vacation. Lots of people are doing that these days.

FutureMrsTR

Tell them you wanted a short honeymoon because you're going to do the nasty constantly and thought two weeks would be too long.  That'll shut 'em up.

LesPaul

We rented a 5,000 sq ft house in the mountains for our honeymoon and invited children, friends, and family to join us for a week of fun.  We had a blast, and I don't care if people think it was strange.

katiepoppy

I will be excited for you! Santa Barbara is beautiful!

kikibaby

Yep, brush it off.  H and I went on a road trip to New Mexico, because we couldn't afford to run off somewhere tropical.  It's nobody else's business unless they want to pay for it.

FWIW, we had just as much fun as we would have on an island- we were together. /cheese

stelhe

Thanks ladies, I needed the pep talk (and maybe a good kick in the butt!)  I know it's the right thing for us and what could be more romantic than a walk on the beach, even if that beach isn't in Hawaii

MattsPenguin

I totally thought that this thread would be about something completely different. 

I imagined Great Aunt Doris with some "honeymoon advice."

temerityjane

We get the same kind of reaction, but to the fact that we're not taking a honeymoon at all.

"Why not? You HAVE to! How can you not take a honeymoon!"

Shut up.

(Them, not you.)

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_much-honeymoon-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cd0b351b-876a-4e7f-91be-466422f24750Post:fec04121-a89d-4a91-967a-6f7a5572c5e1">Re: Too Much Honeymoon Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]We rented a 5,000 sq ft house in the mountains for our honeymoon and invited children, friends, and family to join us for a week of fun.  We had a blast, and I don't care if people think it was strange.
Posted by LesPaul[/QUOTE]

We rented a huge beachouse, and had our grown children join us for our wedding week. We had a great time.
But people did find it strange, I just tell them we've been to a lot of places and we have the rest of our lives to go to many more.

Xtine22

YES!!! OMG YES!! We live in FLorida and we are going to Key West for our honeymoon. My FILs actually have a house there so we go a couple times a year. Last time we were there we decide this is where we want to go for our HM because we LOVE, LOVE LOVE it there. People tell us ALL the time why are you going there?? You can go there anytime??? SUPER annoying!! Why are I going there because WE LOVE it there!! We want to have a relaxing time on our HM and not have to be sightseeing the entire time! grr... totally understand where you are coming from..

LesPaul

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_much-honeymoon-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cd0b351b-876a-4e7f-91be-466422f24750Post:fafed22e-c7c8-4a6a-9810-bd44f07d89dd">Re: Too Much Honeymoon Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too Much Honeymoon Advice! : We rented a huge beachouse, and had our grown children join us for our wedding week. We had a great time. But people did find it strange, <strong>I just tell them we've been to a lot of places and we have the rest of our lives to go to many more.
</strong>Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  DH and I do several short trips each summer just the two of us.  We wanted to spend more time with OOT family who could stay for a few days after the wedding, and we didn't want to ditch our children (even though they're all 17-20 and wouldn't mind if we did).

scoetto

J & I have been married almost 2 years and still have yet to go on a "honeymoon". Tell everyone to stfu. It's your business/trip. Not theirs.

Pirata13

People suck! 

I agree you don't owe an explanation, but you can say what PP said, that you are planning a short honeymoon since FI doesn't have paid vacation, and that you plan on a tropical vacation at a later time.  Do you guys like wine?  When people ask why SB, you can also say "because the beaches are beautiful and there are a ton of wineries there!"

We are doing a few days in Vegas then flying up to Santa Monica, CA and staying at the beach!  Someday we'll do a Caribbean cruise or all inclusive, but this is EXACTLY what we want for our HM.

And honestly, if you're not a wine person, I am , and I'm a little stoked about all the wineries in SB. And jealous that you will be there and I won't. 

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_much-honeymoon-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cd0b351b-876a-4e7f-91be-466422f24750Post:f15ad05e-4b26-42a6-b13e-461c9d150f04">Re: Too Much Honeymoon Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally thought that this thread would be about something completely different.  I imagined Great Aunt Doris with some "honeymoon advice."
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

*snort*  I was thinking the same thing...

hz80408

We're going to Riveria Maya and I feel like people give us an "oh cancun is so college" attitude...but we had a tough time finding someplace for us to go when we wanted that neither of us have been to and didn't require a delay or overnight before getting to our destination.

We leave at 6am and will be on the beach by noon...actually using our vacay for relaxing and not double the time traveling.

Who cares what others say?  You'll have a fabulous HM and as long as you and FI are happy, screw everyone else on this!

squirrly

My father told me repeatedly our HM was a stupid idea and a bad trip, and it would be awful.  I'm not sure if he was trying to be funny or what, but I just found it irritating.  He's done that with every vacation I've taken that hasn't included my parents since 2005, though. 

Do what you all are happy with and excited about for your honeymoon.  You don't need to make anybody else happy at all.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Santa Barbara is gorgeous and there's lots to do. Definitely do a wine tour.

And I would head them off with, "oh, well, we're just doing a mini-moon to SB due to work conflicts. We'd love to go to _____ (insert tropical island) someday!"

FWIW, we're driving to Napa 2 days after our wedding. So I'm also doing the in-state honeymoon thing.