late/missing replies--what to do?

obeach8

our rsvp deadline was yesterday, and naturally we are not planning on getting anxious about missing replies until the end of the week. i'm sure people probably dropped them in the mail yesterday or today, which is fine.

however, we are waiting on about 75+ responses, and i know that there are going to be some phone calls that need to be made asking people to please drop their reply in the mail. 

my question is: who is responsible for these phone calls? my FMIL has been less than enthusiastic about our wedding and has actually made it more difficult due to incorrect guest names/spellings, addresses, etc. she also takes quite a while to finish a task for us or to respond to myself or my fiance when we need something from her. (she offered to do the rehearsal dinner but i wound up planning it when i didn't hear from her until a month before the wedding and she asked me where i wanted to have it)

i would call people myself, however, i don't know 80% of my fiance's family that his mom and dad invited. is it reasonable to ask her to call their guest list and for my parents to call our guest list? my parents are paying for/hosting the reception, so is it technically up to my parents to call everyone on the list? 

are these calls ever generally well received? i would hate for people to be angry with us!

thanks for your help!

georgia_bride09

I would have your FI call his side of the list and you call your side of the list. All you have to say is, "Hey, just checking on your RSVP. Will you be able to join us at our wedding?"

baystateapple

What Georgia said.  It's also totally possible that they got lost in the mail.

danieliza1127

I would ask your FI to do it since they're his family members and he knows them, if you don't think your FMIL would do it in a timely manner. 

People won't be angry with you for checking.  They know they should RSVP.

Julz629

I would divide it up however it makes the most sense.  If there are a lot of calls, everyone can make a few.  If you don't trust FMIL to get it done timely, I would recommend asking your FI to make the calls for his family.

My sister had to make a handful of calls for her RSVPs and they weren't angry or upset or anything.  Most people had simply forgotten to mail the RSVP back.  And there were even 2 that had sent them, but my parents hadn't received (although they ended up receiving weeks after the wedding).

september's bride

It's reasonable to ask her to contact those guests on her side that she requested be invited. If she's not willing to do it, your FI might have to step up to call those guests himself. I know it's a PITA if she doesn't want to do it, but this late in the game, I'd just do what has to get done to get the numbers in. It's not a time to be dicking around with passive agressive inlaws.

quotequeen

Really anyone can do it but it makes more sense for somebody who knows the people to do it.  So have your FI call his family, your mom call your family, and you call your friends.  Or whatever.  If FMIL hasn't been helpful, don't ask her to do it.

Beachy730

Since your deadline is probably close to the day you need to turn your final head count in, i wouldn't ask FMIL to do it.  You and FI should split it up somehow.  We know we are going to have to do this soon, since our deadlne is Friday and we are still missing quite a few.  Some of our family members we have already talked to, but the rest we will probably call Monday after the mail comes. 

My suggestion though would be when you do call just to ask if they are attending, instead of asking them to put their response card in the mail.  This way you have the info immediately, and you aren't stuck dealing with nmore delays.  I would just say something like "We haven't received your response yet from the wedding, and were just wondering if you would be joining us on our day."  Also get a meal choice if you need it. 

Kristin789

>>my parents are paying for/hosting the reception, so is it technically up to my parents to call everyone on the list? 

Yes.
Their names are on the top line of your invitation as the people who are hosting and therefore they are requesting the presence of the guest. 
If the guest doesn't respond, then the guest-asker needs to ask again.