Registry Wording Advice

Schroeder246

FI and I have registered at a few stores in the event that our awesome guests choose to get us a gift.  We live in Boston but the wedding will be in Chicago (where I grew up).  About 75% of our guests will be coming from out of town. 

On our registries there is a place for a brief message to the guests, and I was contemplating writing something that highlighted the fact that it would be best for gifts to be shipped directly to our apartment in Boston.  Obviously I don't want the guests to pay for shipping and then have to deal with the hassle of traveling with a gift, and on top of that for FI and I to ship the gift(s) back to Boston.

Both registries indicate that they do not publish our address, only the option of shipping to us.  Many of our guests are old friends of my parents who may not necessarily know that I don't live in Chicago anymore (I have moved 4 times in the last 5 years, all to different states).

So my question:  Is there an etiquette-approved way of phrasing that we would like gifts shipped to our apt. in Boston?  Or should I not mention anything at all and hope that they figure it out on their own and potentially have to manage shipping the gifts home?

Thanks!

nda_roxybabe

I would not mention anything at all. Request it be shipped feels presumptuous to me

ggmae

Don't mention it. Hopefully your guests will be able to figure it out on their own. If anything, maybe ask your parents to casually mention it to people whenever the shower is brought up.

shellydiane820

G is wise.

Schroeder246

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-wording-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce619a7f-508e-46bb-a599-75e88c4efec4Post:7fa248d5-4a2a-4ab6-ad62-44e25dfde5e8">Re: Registry Wording Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't mention it. Hopefully your guests will be able to figure it out on their own. If anything, maybe ask your parents to casually mention it to people whenever the shower is brought up.
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, well I wouldn't expect them to ship it to us for a shower, I mean . . . that's the whole point of a shower, to open the gifts.  I'm just wondering for the wedding.  Thanks, though!</div>

shellydiane820

Still just do word of mouth.  You don't put registry info in invites anyway.

Schroeder246

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-wording-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce619a7f-508e-46bb-a599-75e88c4efec4Post:6411ccfb-7354-4200-a041-0ed46686d4e2">Re: Registry Wording Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Still just do word of mouth.  You don't put registry info in invites anyway.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, I know, I wouldn't do that.  I was just wondering since there was a place for a message on the actual registry website.  But it sounds like the etiquette gods have spoken :)  Thanks, ladies!</div>

sucrets4

Don't mention it.

We got married in NY, had showers in NY and MI and live in AR.

Some people had stuff shipped, others gave it at the shower.  It's up to you to figure out how to get it back.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Most people know it's proper to send a boxed gift before the wedding. Also, all my registries have the option of writing your address and where you want gifts shipped. It should be self-explanatory.

AmeliaMarie

Just something to think about-it may be possible to return the things at the store in Chicago and then purchase the same items in Boston.

sucrets4

I brought back as much as I could in a suitcase and my mom shipped some other stuff.

For the heavier/bulkier things, my mom returned it in NY (you can ask them to have it not show up as returned at BB&B) and then sent us a gift card to repurchase the stuff in AR.  It worked out really well.  Sure, we don't have the EXACT thing that people gave us, but we have the item that they chose for us.

Some people on here told me I was awful for doing that, but whatever.  It's the best solution, imho.

Schroeder246

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-wording-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce619a7f-508e-46bb-a599-75e88c4efec4Post:2863502d-00e9-4495-938d-8657cdd953ae">Re: Registry Wording Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]I brought back as much as I could in a suitcase and my mom shipped some other stuff. For the heavier/bulkier things, my mom returned it in NY (you can ask them to have it not show up as returned at BB&B) and then sent us a gift card to repurchase the stuff in AR.  It worked out really well.  Sure, we don't have the EXACT thing that people gave us, but we have the item that they chose for us. Some people on here told me I was awful for doing that, but whatever.  It's the best solution, imho.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

<div>Got it.  Yeah, I see how some people would not approve, but if I were a guest, I'd hate to think that the recipient in any way had to pay for the transport of the gift.  </div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, I went back on each registry and pretended to buy something, so I could see it from the guest's perspective.  C&B gave the option of shipping to "Me&FI in Boston, MA", while BB&B only offered the option of shipping to "Me&FI".  They both said that they wouldn't "publish" our address, however it's nice to know that C&B at least puts the town.</div>

ggmae

Yeah, I recently went to Sucrets' baby shower in NY and had my gift shipped to her in AR. Some people did give her gifts at her shower, but others shipped their gifts as well.

ggmae

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-wording-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ce619a7f-508e-46bb-a599-75e88c4efec4Post:11fa41e3-d09f-4050-897b-02e78b425340">Re: Registry Wording Advice</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry Wording Advice : Oh, well I wouldn't expect them to ship it to us for a shower, I mean . . . that's the whole point of a shower, to open the gifts.  I'm just wondering for the wedding.  Thanks, though!
Posted by Schroeder246[/QUOTE]

I was also just assuming you meant the shower because in my area, most people give gifts for the shower and cash/checks at the wedding. Yeah, the point of a shower is to open gifts but I'd rather ship mine to the bride if she lives a good distance away than watch her open it and have to lug it or ship it home herself.

sucrets4

Yeah, I'm with gg - people on LI give cash/checks at weddings.  We got 1 physical gift at the actual wedding.