Changing last name?? HELP Please!

[Deleted User]

I don't know where else to post this. If we chose to take our FIs last name or to hyphenate it, do we HAVE to change our last names with SSA, banks, work, etc. Or can we just keep using our maiden name with things? 

I have read different opinions on this. When is our last name LEGALLY changed? When we sign the marriage certificate or when we go to the SSA?  

Is there any "deadline" as to when someone should change their last name w/SSA, bank, etc.  I know for tax purposes it could be an issue, but can someone still file under their maiden name since they go by the ss# anyways?

MyUserName1

Most of your questions depend on your state.  Maybe try your local board instead? 

ootmother2

Depends on your state bit the general rule is you may call yourself whatever you want unless you are attempting to commit fraud

QueerFemme

I am 99% positive it is considered legally changed when the marriage license is filed.  My understanding is you shouldn't leave the rest of your legal documents with a diffrerent name.  I think it causes major headaches at tax time, as well as for travel (passport). 

If you change your name at work,for example, and your employer is sending your tax payments to the IRS/State taxing authority, you could end up with a "no match" issue and cause delays in tax returns.   I don't think there is any legal fallout from not getting it done in a certain amount of time, but the headache could be significant.

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:b9782102-03e8-4804-8c1c-d2837c7d5302">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I am 99% positive it is considered legally changed when the marriage license is filed.</strong>  My understanding is you shouldn't leave the rest of your legal documents with a diffrerent name.  I think it causes major headaches at tax time, as well as for travel (passport).  If you change your name at work,for example, and your employer is sending your tax payments to the IRS/State taxing authority, you could end up with a "no match" issue and cause delays in tax returns.   I don't think there is any legal fallout from not getting it done in a certain amount of time, but the headache could be significant.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

Like I said, it depends on the state.  In North Carolina, you sign the marriage license before you are married, with your current legal name. The license has no ramification whatsoever on changing your name.  In Florida, I <em>believ</em>e you sign the license with the name you INTEND to use.  (I was married in Florida once upon a long time ago, and didn't change my name)

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:645c3f2d-fae1-4fa6-ab04-d9a378377f93">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Signing a marriage license does not change your name</strong>. You have to initiate the change with SSA and then through the BMV for your license and then change it on bank accounts, credit cards, etc.  I had to wait on a certified copy of my marriage license before I could do anything with SSA. I don't know if there are deadlines.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

I think the way it works here, is signing the license doesn't change the name, but the name isn't changed until it is signed by the officiant and filed with the county after the ceremony. 

lyndausvi

My name was not legal changed simply by signing the marriage license (i go married in NJ).

I changed my name on pretty much everything but my mortgage and the deed to the condo.

I haven't had any issues (tax or otherwise) with leaving them in my maiden name. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:a7b3ba92-ea75-4e4a-94d9-e611e78975b7">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Most of your questions depend on your state.  Maybe try your local board instead? 
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]


Thanks. I didn't even know there were local boards! Silly me. I have posted there since maybe each state differs!

QueerFemme

interesting...     I was married in CA when I was 19... (eeek!)  and there was a huge hassle with the Franchise Tax Board here, because there was some reporting that happened after the county reported my name change to the state.  I was a state level tax pain in the bootie. 

jemmini6

You need to check the requirements for your state.  In most places that I've heard of, the marriage license does NOT change your name.  Some states there's a deadline for changing it, some there's not. 

In any case, whatever name is on file with SS is technically your 'legal' name.  You can still leave stuff mis-matched (for example, I never got around to changing my name on random stuff like my Costco membership), but if you are ever signing any legal documents, you must use the name that is on your SS card.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:b9782102-03e8-4804-8c1c-d2837c7d5302">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I am 99% positive it is considered legally changed when the marriage license is filed.  My understanding is you shouldn't leave the rest of your legal documents with a diffrerent name.  I think it causes major headaches at tax time, as well as for travel (passport).  If you change your name at work,for example, and your employer is sending your tax payments to the IRS/State taxing authority, you could end up with a "no match" issue and cause delays in tax returns.   I don't think there is any legal fallout from not getting it done in a certain amount of time, but the headache could be significant.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]


A friend of mine changed her last name on her license/certificate, but she hasn't changed her name with anything else (SSA, banks, work, etc) and she has been married for almost 3 yrs. Thus my confusion. She doesn't seem to be worried, but I worry about legal ramifications.

It just seems so much easier to keep my maiden name legally & then to use FIs last name socially. That's how we put it when we applied for the license this morning. I was struggling with it so they are holding it for me until tomorrow if I want to hyphenate or anything.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:1444e354-9c91-42b8-8398-d15e44b8d319">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]You need to check the requirements for your state.  In most places that I've heard of, the marriage license does NOT change your name.  Some states there's a deadline for changing it, some there's not.  In any case, whatever name is on file with SS is technically your 'legal' name.  You can still leave stuff mis-matched (for example, I never got around to changing my name on random stuff like my Costco membership), but if you are ever signing any legal documents, you must use the name that is on your SS card.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

Thank you!

Summer2011Bride

Hmm I didn't even have to sign my marriage license. Our officiant and I think one of our honor attendants did.

Anyway, even if you legally change your name, you can still go by your maiden name when you want. Like if professionally you have a following or reputation with your maiden name, you could still use it at work but legally/socially use FI's last name. Anything you do legally though (like buy a car, a house, etc) would need to be done in your legal name.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:c6e35033-8d6e-489d-bb27-93ee05e343e3">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmm I didn't even have to sign my marriage license. Our officiant and I think one of our honor attendants did. Anyway, even if you legally change your name, you can still go by your maiden name when you want. Like if professionally you have a following or reputation with your maiden name, you could still use it at work but legally/socially use FI's last name. Anything you do legally though (like buy a car, a house, etc) would need to be done in your legal name.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]


If I am understanding everyone correctly, basically whatever name the SSA has on file for me is the name that I have to use  when filing taxes, applying for loans, applying for a job, etc? Is that correct?

So my marriage certificate can say "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName" but if I haven't gone to SSA, I would still file taxes, etc under "Suzie MyLastName".
And I can still file as married under MyLastName if I haven't gone to SSA & my W2 reflects MyLastName, etc correct?

But it would be ok to sign my child's report card as "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName". Do I have that right?

ElisabethJoanne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:8fd09c66-8b48-4f4d-a868-cf1a855cc1c0">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]interesting...     I was married in CA when I was 19... (eeek!)  and there was a huge hassle with the Franchise Tax Board here, because there was some reporting that happened after the county reported my name change to the state.  I was a state level tax pain in the bootie. 
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This is very interesting to me. I'm in California, too. I was under the impression the county clerks don't forward the name-change info to anyone. As mentioned elsewhere, you have to get your SSN tied to your new name, then change everything else, beginning with your driver's license. I can see where there'd be problems if you had done the marriage license and the SSN stages, but not others, or if you changed the name at work but not with the SSA. But as long as your name and SSN number match everywhere but the county clerk (who doesn't get your SSN anyway), your "name change" is imaginary.

I know California IS adamant about "decide on your new name, if any when you apply for your marriage license." In other states, friends say they had until well after the wedding, like more than a year, to decide or take any steps to change their names.

NicoleSahara

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:63a4c955-e27c-4217-a37a-c21475f6f40b">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please! : If I am understanding everyone correctly, basically whatever name the SSA has on file for me is the name that I have to use  when filing taxes, applying for loans, applying for a job, etc? Is that correct? So my marriage certificate can say "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName" but if I haven't gone to SSA, I would still file taxes, etc under "Suzie MyLastName". And I can still file as married under MyLastName if I haven't gone to SSA & my W2 reflects MyLastName, etc correct? But it would be ok to sign my child's report card as "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName". Do I have that right?
Posted by cvmami78[/QUOTE]

Again, it really varies state to state. Here, my Social Security card has my maiden name on it. However my driver's license, loans, everything else has my married name. The only thing I need to use my maiden name for is filing taxes.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:c6e35033-8d6e-489d-bb27-93ee05e343e3">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmm I didn't even have to sign my marriage license. Our officiant and I think one of our honor attendants did. Anyway, even if you legally change your name, you can still go by your maiden name when you want. Like if professionally you have a following or reputation with your maiden name, you could still use it <strong>at work</strong> but legally/socially use FI's last name. Anything you do legally though (like buy a car, a house, etc) would need to be done in your legal name.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]


At work you have to use your legal name, since they're issuing you checks and taking out taxes in your legal name.

DramaGeek

This is completely anecdotal and not at all legal advice, but I changed my name with the bank, DMV, etc but not through SS so it wasn't a legal name change.  It was like that for 8 years.  I used the new name  (Maiden Hislast) on everything.  Our tax accountant filed me under Drama Hisname, even though I told her what it should be, I got paid to Drama Maiden Hisname, and our homes were purchased as Drama Maiden Hisname.  I've never had any legal issues.

I'm now back to just my maiden name because it's what I prefer, but I haven't changed it on the mortgage or my license because it's a PITA.  Still no legal issues, and it's been that way for 2+ years.

ElisabethJoanne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:63a4c955-e27c-4217-a37a-c21475f6f40b">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please! : If I am understanding everyone correctly, basically whatever name the SSA has on file for me is the name that I have to use  when filing taxes, applying for loans, applying for a job, etc? Is that correct? So my marriage certificate can say "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName" but if I haven't gone to SSA, I would still file taxes, etc under "Suzie MyLastName". And I can still file as married under MyLastName if I haven't gone to SSA & my W2 reflects MyLastName, etc correct? But it would be ok to sign my child's report card as "Suzie MyLastName-HisLastName". Do I have that right?
Posted by cvmami78[/QUOTE]

Except for what I say above, you have it all correct.

Also, schools don't care what parents' names are. The only time schools ever asked my parents for anything government-y was when they were volunteer drivers for field trips or maybe stuff about paying tuition. [My sisters and I attended public and private schools.]

I was once a nanny for a family where the mother was "Dr. Jones," having kept her maiden name and the children had the husband's last name, "Smith." The school called her "Mrs. Smith" even though this was doubly wrong. Dr. Jones worked with my mother for many years, so I had known the family since before the kids were even born. This was not a case of different professional v. social names.

ElisabethJoanne

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:79b380a1-a9b5-4797-aa88-a96dbafd2350">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]This is completely anecdotal and not at all legal advice, but I changed my name with the bank, DMV, etc but not through SS so it wasn't a legal name change.  It was like that for 8 years.  I used the new name  (Maiden Hislast) on everything.  Our tax accountant filed me under Drama Hisname, even though I told her what it should be, I got paid to Drama Maiden Hisname, and our homes were purchased as Drama Maiden Hisname.  I've never had any legal issues. I'm now back to just my maiden name because it's what I prefer, but I haven't changed it on the mortgage or my license because it's a PITA.  Still no legal issues, and it's been that way for 2+ years.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

Doesn't surprise me. The IRS doesn't check names v. SSNs always. Some years, they check most/all; some years, not. It relates to immigration policy, among other things.

The SSA had my uncle's birthdate off by 2 days for decades. He was around 60 and had been working and paying taxes for decades before, one year, he couldn't file. The stated birthdate didn't match, though the name and SSN did. He got the SSA to tell him what birthdate they had, used that the year the trouble came up, then got his birth certificate and driver's license to fix the SSA records. [Could have been clerical error, but previous generations of my family were also known to fudge birthdays to get kids into kindergarten earlier or due to confusion about Gregorian v. Hebrew/Jewish dates.]

MyNameIsNot

It sort of sounds like you're thinking of keeping your name legally but using his infomally.  That's an option for some people.  You would still file taxes, license, bank, get paid, and so forth in your maiden name, but people will call you whatever you tell them to.  You can introduce yourself as Maiden-Married to your kids' teachers, to the neighbors, whatever.  I know a number of women that delayed the name change for years, and thus kept the legals in their maiden name, but everyone called them by their married from the date of the wedding.  

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:beee1c4f-24d0-4d3d-a71c-fdded7d6f1ab">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please! : At work you have to use your legal name, since they're issuing you checks and taking out taxes in your legal name.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I meant more for client purposes. Yes, if you change your name, you need to let HR (or whoever) know that you changed your name because of taxes and everything you listed. I agree. But I know many people who professionally (meaning when dealing with co-workers, clients, etc) still go by their maiden name especially if they've built a following or reputation, even though they legally changed their name.

KatZ12345

I work for SSA so perhaps I can lend a helping hand. Typically a marriage certificate/license shows the intended name you will be taking. However, until you change your name through SSA it is not a legal name change. Pretty much every other agency pulls from our systems so once you change it with us it's best that you change your license, banks, employer's records, etc within a reasonable amount of time (I typically suggest no more than 30 days). Otherwise you will have conflicting information on different agency records and may receive letters to change one ASAP. As far as changing the name you will need the marriage certificate with the raise seal or stamp from the town/city and a driver's license or state ID. You can always contact your local SSA office or registry if you need guidance Hope this helps! 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_changing-last-name-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cf6372b5-6271-4189-b3ef-4c37c2f92735Post:bca2011f-d3d8-4392-bf0d-e284b1f9a841">Re: Changing last name?? HELP Please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I work for SSA so perhaps I can lend a helping hand. Typically a marriage certificate/license shows the intended name you will be taking. However, until you change your name through SSA it is not a legal name change. Pretty much every other agency pulls from our systems so once you change it with us it's best that you change your license, banks, employer's records, etc within a reasonable amount of time (I typically suggest no more than 30 days). Otherwise you will have conflicting information on different agency records and may receive letters to change one ASAP. As far as changing the name you will need the marriage certificate with the raise seal or stamp from the town/city and a driver's license or state ID. You can always contact your local SSA office or registry if you need guidance :) Hope this helps! 
Posted by KatZ12345[/QUOTE]


Thank you!! I actually called the SSA & the IRS because I was so confused and they both told me the exact same thing you have told me!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

I decided to go ahead with the hyphenated last name because giving up the name I have had for 33 years was too difficult. I didn't realize how important it was to me!!

Thank you ALL for your input Ladies!!
Blessings!!