Not a good idea to give cash

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-a-good-idea-to-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cfea9186-f787-4111-94a7-c6ee13f82781Post:f992c742-ec1e-4b7d-8c66-80048c1505f6">Re: Not a good idea to give cash</a>:
[QUOTE]HBTK, I guess I don't understand why you and your H had to do them together. Why not just divide up the list and just get them done as soon as possible? I know that ship has sailed, but FWIW, I really wish the trend of the professional photo TY had never started. They take forever to get back, and many times, the B&G never get around to actually writing them.  <strong>All of our wedding TYs were mailed within a week of us returning from our HM.</strong> I don't understand why people think writing them is a chore--I took pleasure in writing them. It was nice to spend a few minutes on each one, thinking about how nice it was to see my aunt, or how generous my uncle was. 
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
Wow, I wish I had that type of time on my hands. We received our wedding TY cards (with wedding pic) about 2 weeks ago and I've had the time to write half. I'm going to finish them up this week, so people will receive them in under 2 months. I don't consider that too long at all. My life is so hectic that I rarely have the free time to write them.

tkddddddddd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-a-good-idea-to-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cfea9186-f787-4111-94a7-c6ee13f82781Post:ed5d0958-b64a-41e2-8360-e97b78539517">Re: Not a good idea to give cash</a>:
[QUOTE]That's why, even it it seems a bit sexist, I always write the check out to the groom. It's pretty rare that his name would be changing.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]



Hey now, my fiancé is switching over to my last name! But yeah, in general...that's the be way to write a check for a wedding!

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-a-good-idea-to-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cfea9186-f787-4111-94a7-c6ee13f82781Post:cda23cd9-d3fe-49a8-99e9-c89a6f6a9619">Re: Not a good idea to give cash</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not a good idea to give cash : Wow, I wish I had that type of time on my hands. We received our wedding TY cards (with wedding pic) about 2 weeks ago and I've had the time to write half. I'm going to finish them up this week, so people will receive them in under 2 months. I don't consider that too long at all. My life is so hectic that I rarely have the free time to write them.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, we didn't order photo cards. We just used the standard engraved ones that matched our invitations. Also, writing them was a priority, so I wrote them at every opportunity after we got back: while watching tv, while dinner was simmering, in the waiting room at the Social Security office, etc. If you make it a priority, you can get it done.</div>

HappinessByTheKilowatt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-a-good-idea-to-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cfea9186-f787-4111-94a7-c6ee13f82781Post:f992c742-ec1e-4b7d-8c66-80048c1505f6">Re: Not a good idea to give cash</a>:
[QUOTE]HBTK, I guess I don't understand why you and your H had to do them together. Why not just divide up the list and just get them done as soon as possible? I know that ship has sailed, but FWIW, I really wish the trend of the professional photo TY had never started. They take forever to get back, and many times, the B&G never get around to actually writing them.  All of our wedding TYs were mailed within a week of us returning from our HM. I don't understand why people think writing them is a chore--I took pleasure in writing them. It was nice to spend a few minutes on each one, thinking about how nice it was to see my aunt, or how generous my uncle was. 
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

Honestly... because I wanted them to actually get done, and to every person on the list. My husband is capable and fantastic in many, many things. Things like this? Not part of those things. Judge away, but there it is, haha. As it is, the number of questions he asked made me almost finish them all myself, but my hands hurt too darn bad. Patience is not a virtue I have a whole lot of. But honestly it's far more complicated than just being in two different places-- we've moved three times in the six months, spent several months in separate states, the first move was a week after we returned from the wedding (I got the job offer while we were away for the wedding, and came back and had to pack up and go)... blah blah blah. I STARTED the TY notes the day I got them (which was about two months after the wedding, so not awful, but still not great) but it's taken me this long to finish them all, check them against my list, etc. since I have been living in fear I would lose them moving. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" /> I know it's awful, and not making excuses at all, it's just been crazy, crazy, and more crazy since the wedding it seems. I really did think I heard a year though, and would have made a much bigger push to get them done if I didn't think I had one... I don't even remember the last time I got a TY under 6 months. Sad, but true. But, now I know. I will comfort myself with the knowledge that I sent out both my Christmas and birthday thank you notes immediately since the wedding happened, so my family might not judge me too harshly.

Anyway, like I said, busy busy :) I still try to pop in when I can and say hello, but unfortunately that's not very often these days. Hope you're doing well!

EDIT: That said, I did really enjoy writing them. It's been especially fun since we just took our honeymoon a couple of weeks ago and I got to tell everyone what we did with the money they gave us and whatnot. I also did not see it as a chore, and loved reminiscing about moments during our wedding weekend, since it was a DW for a lot of people and everyone was on "vacation" together and particularly... relaxed, haha.

futuremrsbruno

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-a-good-idea-to-give-cash?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cfea9186-f787-4111-94a7-c6ee13f82781Post:e73b4d68-e01e-4a8f-9720-98456ef92e5d">Re: Not a good idea to give cash</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends on how close you are to the B&G. If it was one of my closest friends, I personally wouldn't have an issue saying, "Hey, did you get our card with cash in it? I was concerned because of where the gift table was located--it didn't seem very secure and wanted to make sure it wasn't stolen." If she apologizes for not sending a TY card, I would just play it off and say, "No big deal at all; just wanted to make sure you got it." However, if you don't feel close enough/feel it would be awkward to say that to this person, then there isn't much you can do. I agree it was stupid to have the gift table completely unsupervised and open to the public like that.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

I agree. A few people weren't able to come to the shower a few weeks ago and I got a few phone calls asking if I had gotten their gifts because they sent them in the mail. I gave my MOH a list for the shower when she asked, but at the time of the shower I couldn't remember who was on it and who wasn't. I'm glad they called because one card still hasn't come. The person had sent a check so they were able to cancel it and they gave me another card when they saw me.

I do think there are people who just forget to send thank you cards, or for whatever reason don't do it. Have you heard of other people getting thank you's? I think that would be a clue as to whether or not they got your card.

I plan on sending a thank you to everyone who came, regardless of whether or not they give us anything. Not all people do that, though.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

See, I find it much more convenient to give cash. The checks we got for our wedding were hard ot cash. My bank wouldn't let me cash checks with my husband's name on them, checks with one name or the other had to be cashed by the individual, and some checks had my name wrong. If I was going that way, I guess I'd only make it out to one person (which might seem like a slight), but then the other person probably wouldn't be able to cash it.

Anyway, after my wedding, I decided cash was the way to go.