Coworkers.

Amandarose531

Okay I realize it is completely rude to exclude parts of families (kids etc.)

My concern is that, my guest list maximum is 150, my family is rather small but FI's family is enormous. We're already going to be pushing it with just adding a few close friends from either of our sides.

I've already decided I am going to invite my close coworkers (I work in a drugstore, so quite a few employees, over 40), assuming my guestlist can handle it, but some of them have huge families (4-5kids) and I just do not have the room for their entire family.

How can I politely explain, or include on their invitation, that i'm extending it because I do want them to attend, I just don't have room for the whole family.

It's either allow the coworkers and their families and cut my own family (not going to happen)
Invite coworkers only.
Or exclude them alltogether.

I'm not a huge fan of wedding politics

Brandiewine11

You are not obligated to invite kids, but you do have to invite significant others. Although it works best if you have a clear cutoff of what kids to invite/not invite (i.e. WP only, family only, etc).

Amandarose531

oh okay, thank you ladies.

I was a little worried there. That really frees me up. We haven't invited any children that aren't related to FI so I suppose we could use that as our cutoff.

RivelAmy

I think the co-worker ettiquette rule is a tough one. You said you work in a drug store. Have you ever met their spouses? Kids? Are they young and unmarried?

I'm a substitute teacher and am inviting 10 teachers from the school I work at. However, I am not inviting their spouses/girlfriends or boyfriends and they are all fine with it. As teachers, we do many "teacher only" things together where their spouses and kids aren't invited (chaperone dances, take field trips, have "girls only" dinners, etc.). I also have never met any of their spouses. They will all be sitting at the same table, so I don't think it will be awkward for them. Also, remember it is an INVITATION to someone else's event, so worse come to worse, they decline the invitation and miss out on the fun!

I know some people will think this is horribly rude and will rip me apart for not following proper ettiquette, but we are paying for this wedding ourselves and the teacher guests seem really excited to be included!

Brandiewine11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_coworkers-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d093d876-815f-4790-9826-6564f7f258e1Post:5e164507-eaa1-44e0-8524-12413118a010">Re: Coworkers.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think the co-worker ettiquette rule is a tough one. You said you work in a drug store. Have you ever met their spouses? Kids? Are they young and unmarried? I'm a substitute teacher and am inviting 10 teachers from the school I work at. However, I am not inviting their spouses/girlfriends or boyfriends and they are all fine with it. As teachers, we do many "teacher only" things together where their spouses and kids aren't invited (chaperone dances, take field trips, have "girls only" dinners, etc.). I also have never met any of their spouses. They will all be sitting at the same table, so I don't think it will be awkward for them. Also, remember it is an INVITATION to someone else's event, so worse come to worse, they decline the invitation and miss out on the fun! I know some people will think this is horribly rude and will rip me apart for not following proper ettiquette, but we are paying for this wedding ourselves and the teacher guests seem really excited to be included!
Posted by RivelAmy[/QUOTE]

<div>You're right. Its a bad idea and rude to do this. So OP, don't. If you've never met their spouses, its likely they would decline anyway and just your coworkers would go, but its rude not to invite them SO. Just b/c you're doing it and no one told you they were offended, doesn't make it right.</div>

RivelAmy

Brandwine, I value your opinion. I'm VERY new to this whole wedding/etiquette thing, and have been taking pointers from anyone who will offer them politely. I guess things that I have seen done in the past aren't the norm or what is generally acceptable? So I'm learning as the days go on.

I haven't sent out my invites yet, so I'll reconsider my original option of just my co-workers and not their spouses. Thanks again.