Does everybody in the fam get +1?

KellyS01

I am working on inner envelopes for my invitations and have a question.  My pastor has four kids, all living at home.  His oldest is dating someone and is, I think, pretty serious.  I don't know about the other three.  Is it in poor taste to only give the oldest a +1 and not the others?  They are all old enough to be dating.

TIA!

jessicabessica

If the kids are over 18, they each get their own invite, even if they all are under one roof.  

I think it's fine to only give a plus one to the one in the relationship.  It would be less awkward if you found out the sig other's name (and more considerate, IMO) and put that, so it wasn't like only one kid had an "and guest" on their invite, you were deliberately inviting them as a couple.   

KellyS01

I do know the name of the SO so I could definitely put that.

firsttimersluck

We are having a smaller (70 ish) wedding so we have run into this as well. Luckily the family is all coupled up so there is no awkwardness there. My close friends that I am inviting, I felt comfortable explaining to them that bc we are keeping the guest list tight we can't fit a lot of people outside of the family, but  I really want them there if they don't mind coming without a "plus one" No one had an issue with it, because they were excited that I wanted them there, despite the small wedding size.
We have people from Ryan's work, however, that could get a little messy. We'll see how those turn out. My concern is putting "mister john smith" and them checking "will attend" and write a little "+1" next to it.. this will not please me.. buut I suppose well deal with that when we get there :P

erogosin

We followed the rule of if it was a significant relationship, one that had lasted 6 months or more, they got a plus one.  If not, then no.  

The only exception to this 'rule' is that if they knew no one else at the wedding, we added a plus one, so they had someone to talk to.

On the other hand, my sister doesn't have a boyfriend, but informed me that she gets  a plus one.  When I asked who she would bring, she said it didn't matter; she would find someone.  *sigh*

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_everybody-fam-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d0ffaed8-f27c-4cd6-a860-992a25a0fb97Post:b9a0c142-df28-45c5-94e9-4c08a5fff2fe">Re: Does everybody in the fam get +1?</a>:
[QUOTE]We followed the rule of if it was a<strong> significant relationship, one that had lasted 6 months or more, they got a plus one.</strong>  If not, then no.   The only exception to this 'rule' is that if they knew no one else at the wedding, we added a plus one, so they had someone to talk to. On the other hand, my sister doesn't have a boyfriend, but informed me that she gets  a plus one.  When I asked who she would bring, she said it didn't matter; she would find someone.  *sigh*
Posted by erogosin[/QUOTE]


You shouldn't have an arbitrary time limit that defines what relationship is "serious" or not.  Some people have met and gotten married in less than 6 months, so you really don't know how they define their relationship.  If they have only been together for 3 months, yet consider themselves to be serious, then you should invite them.    FI and I had already decided 5 months into our relationship that I would move in with him when my lease was up 2 months following...if he got invited to a wedding without me at that point when we were already planning to live together, I would've been annoyed.