My friend has invited H and me to her engagement party. She's already told me that her wedding is going to be very intimate, just family, so I'm 100% sure I'm not invited to the wedding itself (don't even get me started on the "I'm inviting you to my engagement party but not the wedding" situation). I've never been to an engagement party (my social circle doesn't do them), so is a gift expected? The party is at a restaurant/lounge and I'm not sure if it's hosted or if we're expected to buy our own food/drink...If we're buying our own I'm more inclined to NOT give a gift, you know? But if I arrive empty-handed and it's hosted and I'm the only one without a gift I'll feel like a tool.