Wedding Etiquette Forum

Conflicting Addressing Info

On the Emily Post website, it says the following on addressing envelopes:
Unmarried, living together
Mr. John Kelly & Ms. Jane Johnson
Note: Use one line

This seems to go against the typically E response of:
Ms. Jane Johnson
Mr. John Kelly

Which is right? Or am I confused?
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Re: Conflicting Addressing Info

  • Yeah, most people on E think that if you put two people on the same line it means they are married. Really, it means that they are a social unit, not necessarily that they're married. If a couple is in a relationship and living together, I usually (not always) go with Post and address them on one line, but I differ with that advice in that I'd put the woman first, always.

    Where you definitely don't want people on the same line is on invitations where divorced persons are hosting, or two couples are hosting - something like that.
  • I used one line for the people in that situation - I also did the ladies first.

    Note though, my invitations were quite informal as is my wedding - I didn't even use salutations.
  • One line and ladies first.
  • So on the ladies first thing... does that apply to married couples as well? I want to use both the husband and wife's first names.

    I am seeing Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Lastname on ettiquette websites, including Emily Post. Or should it be Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Last name, which is what I have seen here.
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  • I think Crane is considered the ultimate guide for wedding addressing.  Crane says unmarried couples are on different lines with no "&" in between the names.
  • if you want to use first names you would do Jane and John Doe.
    Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe is not correct although many do it now.
  • ^Frankly, I'd rather address my guests in a way they'd prefer rather than be "correct" in this instance. Anyone of my parents or grandparents generation will be addressed in the old fashioned way, unless I know otherwise. Those of my generation I'm asking their preference.
    Lizzie
  • Thanks chicas!  Yall rock!
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