shower and bachelorette party on july 4th weekend

sknmysanity

Alright, so i'm frustrated and i'm going to be as blunt as possible. My really good friends are getting married in August. Two of us knew the groom before we knew the bride. We probably love her more than him now lol truth be told. Okay, so here is the situation. The bride is way younger than the groom 21 and 30. So two of us are 30 and the other three bridesmaids are 21. The MOH is 21 and the bride has asked another bridesmaid (30 year old) to take the reigns due to the fact that the younger one has no exp ever planning anything to do with a wedding.Not to mention the fact that the older one was a wedding planner. Makes sense right? Well the MOH, is just not listening at all to anyone. The best part is that when we tell her "this won't work because of a,b,c" she will state "well, let's focus on solutions and not what won't work" ... So here are my two questions

One: the MOH wants to plan the bachelorette and shower on july 4th weekend. yes you read that right. Two wedding events on a family friendly holiday weekend. The wedding would be one thing, but this is ridiculous to me. When I tried to say "hey people won't show and the people that do will be pist" I got the whole let's work on solutions speech. The MOH's normal condescending response.So I write back...okay if none of us can do it any other weekend in july let's do the bachelorette party and shower in late june. She states that july 4 will be perfect bc people are going to fly in for the shower.  They aren't going to fly twice in a month to calfornia for the wedding and shower in a one month period from new orleans, not going to happen.. They will send a present plus the airlines are going to gouge them price wise bc it's a holiday weeknd. People dont want to go to a shower on fourth of july. I can't get through to her and neither can the bridesmaid who was a previous wedding planner.

I think this is extremely stupid and selfish to the guests. Am I off base here ... what do i do? Any help would be appreciated

crash2729

Let her plan it how she wants. If it flops, the other BMs should be prepared to throw another one I guess. 

And when I say Let her plan it..That means let her pay for it.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-bachelorette-party-july-4th-weekend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d6fd3439-53c9-4e23-b94d-feeb6ef7e4d1Post:2ac8d871-7093-430c-9bb3-34c4eb3d43af">shower and bachelorette party on july 4th weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright, so i'm frustrated and i'm going to be as blunt as possible. My really good friends are getting married in August. Two of us knew the groom before we knew the bride. We probably love her more than him now lol truth be told. Okay, so here is the situation. The bride is way younger than the groom 21 and 30. So two of us are 30 and the other three bridesmaids are 21. The MOH is 21 and the bride has asked another bridesmaid (30 year old) to take the reigns due to the fact that the younger one has no exp ever planning anything to do with a wedding.Not to mention the fact that the older one was a wedding planner. Makes sense right? Well the MOH, is just not listening at all to anyone. The best part is that when we tell her "this won't work because of a,b,c" she will state "well, let's focus on solutions and not what won't work" ... So here are my two questions One: the MOH wants to plan the bachelorette and shower on july 4th weekend. yes you read that right. Two wedding events on a family friendly holiday weekend. The wedding would be one thing, but this is ridiculous to me. When I tried to say "hey people won't show and the people that do will be pist" I got the whole let's work on solutions speech. The MOH's normal condescending response.So I write back...okay if none of us can do it any other weekend in july let's do the bachelorette party and shower in late june. She states that july 4 will be perfect bc people are going to fly in for the shower.  They aren't going to fly twice in a month to calfornia for the wedding and shower in a one month period from new orleans, not going to happen.. They will send a present plus the airlines are going to gouge them price wise bc it's a holiday weeknd. People dont want to go to a shower on fourth of july. I can't get through to her and neither can the bridesmaid who was a previous wedding planner. I think this is extremely stupid and selfish to the guests. Am I off base here ... what do i do? Any help would be appreciated
Posted by sknmysanity[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Who is hosting these parties?  </div><div>
</div><div>I don't see any problem with them being on July 4 weekend, if that's what works for the host and the bride.

</div>

Beachy730

I would ask the bride her input on the dates.  

My good friend was in a wedding that had the shower on Memorial Day weekend, and because of it she had to skip our yearly campng trip all of our friends went on.  She was pissed because she had to miss long standing plans for it.  Some people don't care though, and would be fine.  i would check with the bride, then if she's fine with it just let it go. 

As for people flying in, I would be shocked if anyone flew in for the shower, regardless of what date it is.  

DramaGeek

"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it that weekend.  If you're open to alternate weekends I'm available X and Y dates in June and Z date in July.  If that won't work, I hope you guys have a fun time!"

elizabethjane25

i would just let her plan it for that weekend. let her know that you will be unable to make it but you hope they have a great time. if people don't show, you don't look bad. you tried to get her to change it!! 

lyndausvi

I really do not see the problem.  If you can't make it you can't.  Sure some people have long standing plans that weekend, but I here to say to you a lot of us do not.  I normally make 4th of July plans a few days before.

sknmysanity

Hey everyone!
        Thanks so much for all of your help! I met with the bride last night and she said no to the july 4th weekend. We planned for july 30th, thank god