Stuck in the Middle - Family Issues

ShiloP

In the past couple months my father's relationship with his parents and siblings has quickly and dramatically deteriorated. I've tried to ask him if he would still like them invited to the wedding (my mother has already given her strong NO opinion) but he avoids talking about it. From what my aunts and uncles have done to my father I will not be inviting them but I don't know what to do about my grandparents. My father hasn't talked to them for weeks but I'm the first grandchild to get married. I've set their invites aside because the rest of them go out this week. Any advice on etiquette or personal experience would be greatly appreciated.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I would very, very carefully consider 1) how this squabble with your father affects you and 2) if it will blow over and 3) even if it doesn't blow over, will there come a time in your life when you regret not inviting them.

JennaV26

Without knowing the full story I'm not quite sure if this is the right advice but if you want to invite your grandparents, go for it. If they have a big enough problem with your dad that they feel uncomfortable coming then at least it will be up to them.

georgia_bride09

Unless your grandma has called you a slut or something I see no reason why they shouldn't be invited. They're all adults and should act as such if they all end up attending.

*BeachBride0410*

I am in the side of inviting them.  As a PP stated they have a problem with your father for whatever reason & not  you.  If you still talk to them & have some what of a relationship with them, I think you should invite them.  They also should be adult enough to except the invite and not let what drama there is spilll in to the wedding.  Same with your father.  Who knows your grandparents might decline the invite & you need to be ready for that.

I have a some what estranged relationship with my grandfather...he cheated on my grandmom and has kids with another women who he later married.  My aunt & uncles have managed to talk to him...my mom not as much.  I want nothing to do with his 2nd wife and kids, who are younger then me.  I invited my grandfather only to the wedding, knowing full well he would decline because I did not want his family there.  And I as ok with him declining. 

ShiloP

Thank you for all the advice and questions I need to be asking myself not others. It is a very unique and complicated family situation that will forever change the way my immediate family interacts with my father's side. I feel that I need to stand by my father's side (because I believe he is right) but one post brought up the point of regret and that is sitting in the back of my mind. Again thanks for the input and I wish I could share more background info but it would take a novel

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_stuck-middle-family-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7511d75-a669-4ae0-b8b9-eccc60f5a41dPost:832549cd-4903-412a-b04c-1c0a5e4bb05e">Re: Stuck in the Middle - Family Issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you for all the advice and questions I need to be asking myself not others. It is a very unique and complicated family situation that will forever change the way my immediate family interacts with my father's side. I feel that I need to stand by my father's side (because I believe he is right) but one post brought up the point of regret and that is sitting in the back of my mind. Again thanks for the input and I wish I could share more background info but it would take a novel :)
Posted by ShiloP[/QUOTE]

I don't think we need to know the whole story, it's more that we caution being hasty with family.  I know that when I decided not to invite my father or any of his family I knew that was the right thing to do.  Actually, I had more dilemma about not inviting some of my cousins than my own father.  When stuff like this comes up,  I just say, you won't have to question it, you'll know!

Kristin&eric

maybe if your that stuck, ask him right out and talk to him. if not i would take your mothers advice, you mom probably knows more than you and maybe you dad told your mom how he feels.