How long to stay?

kmjarvey

I'm going to a wedding in Chicago next month. I'm spending the night before the wedding at the hotel there and then have to drive home (3 hours) that night. The wedding is at 4 so the reception won't start until at least 6. How long do you think I should stay so I wouldn't be considered rude for leaving early. After the opening dances?

Sing2phins

If the wedding is at 4, I'd drive the day of and spend the night after the wedding.  Unless the wedding is on a Sunday?

Catwoman708

I think I would stay the night AFTER the wedding instead, to avoid a 3 hour drive after a long day, and possibly drinking. 

But if you need to get home that night, then it's usually considered polite to stay until the cake is cut.  Or at least until after dinner, and the first dance, toasts, etc... are done, so it doesn't look like an "eat and run".  Because sometimes the cake is not cut until it's almost time for the reception to end, which would put you getting home in the wee hours.  Maybe leave by 8:30-9:00, putting you home about midnight?

kmjarvey

I'm doing a reading at the ceremony so I have to be there Friday night for the rehearsal. The wedding is on Saturday. Hotels are expensive in that area so I'm trying to avoid paying for 2 nights.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Usually the cake cutting is the "signal" that people can leave. Hopefully it happens after dinner? I'd stay at least through speeches and first dance.

Sing2phins

Do you really need to be there for the rehearsal, though?  I mean, you'll be in the program, right, so you'll know when it's time for you to get up and do your reading.  And someone, an usher or GM who's around before the ceremony starts can point out where you'll go for your reading.

mandybear7

I've seen most cake cuttings happen either before dinner is served or in between courses. I would wait until after the specialty dances have ended.

I agree with a pp, though. Can you talk to the bride or groom and see if it's okay to miss the rehearsal in order to fully celebrate with them at the actual wedding?

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_long-stay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7cbfb7c-5b92-48c5-bc9a-75fe2f80f2ecPost:9e46487f-e377-425b-8288-b125bf5a2e20">Re: How long to stay?</a>:
[QUOTE]If the wedding is at 4, I'd drive the day of and spend the night after the wedding.  Unless the wedding is on a Sunday?
Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

This definitely.  We are having our wedding at the same time, 4:00pm.  All of our oot guests are driving in that day and spending that night here.

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_long-stay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7cbfb7c-5b92-48c5-bc9a-75fe2f80f2ecPost:5cfb6edf-eeb4-4201-90e7-8731736e8321">Re: How long to stay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm doing a reading at the ceremony so I have to be there Friday night for the rehearsal. The wedding is on Saturday. Hotels are expensive in that area so I'm trying to avoid paying for 2 nights.
Posted by kmjarvey[/QUOTE]


Sorry, didn't see this.  Talk to the bride, tell her you are trying to save money and weren't sure if it would be OK for you to skip the rehersal and come in on Saturday so that you would be able to stay for the entire reception.  I would be understanding if someone came to me about that.

jnic0319

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_long-stay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d7cbfb7c-5b92-48c5-bc9a-75fe2f80f2ecPost:5cfb6edf-eeb4-4201-90e7-8731736e8321">Re: How long to stay?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm doing a reading at the ceremony so I have to be there Friday night for the rehearsal. The wedding is on Saturday. Hotels are expensive in that area so I'm trying to avoid paying for 2 nights.
Posted by kmjarvey[/QUOTE]


Sorry didn't see this.  Talk to the bride, tell her things are tight right now and you are trying to avoid the cost of 2 hotels.  Ask her if she thinks it would be OK for you to not attend the rehearsal in order to stay the night the next and celebrate their wedding with them without having to leave early.  I would understand if someone came to me with that.  If she doesn't like the idea, then you are off the hook and can leave early, she knew it was coming.

hz80408

Would you be comfortable staying at a hotel other than where the rest of the WP is staying?  I've had several friends use priceline.com to name their own price.  Most recently they stayed 2 nights at a 4-star hotel downtown for $138 total for both nights.

aragx6

Maybe you can stay somewhere less expensive (by Midway or O'Hare perhaps) on Friday night and then stay at the more expensive blocked hotel for Saturday night.