Wedding Etiquette Forum

One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....

I live in the UK, and am watching a wedding show right now (Don't Tell the Bride, for any other UK knotties), and they had a tiered reception.  Immediately following the ceremony, they did a sit-down dinner with the 50 or so people invited to the ceremony, and a dance/after-party with another 50 or so of their friends.   From what I've heard from friends and seen on wedding shows, this is apparently quite common in the UK.

So, this couple's wedding day was running so late, that after-party guests (NOT invited to the dinner) were showing up at the reception location before the dinner even started, at the same time as some of the dinenr guests.  The USHERS had to stand in the hall and tell people, "Wait a minute while we try to figure out who is supposed to be here...."  

Talk about TACKY.   
DSC_9275

Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited January 2012
    I guess the dance-only guests had to stand out in the hall while everyone else ate dinner.  If it had been me, I would have gone home....
    DSC_9275
  • In fairness, if tiered receptions are common and expected in a certain culture, it's not tacky for the couple to have one. It sounds like this wedding was poorly planned, but that's not the same thing as doing something which goes against etiquette.
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:c562ec0f-44d1-494d-8050-b3a73f554b2b">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In fairness, if tiered receptions are common and expected in a certain culture, it's not tacky for the couple to have one. It sounds like this wedding was poorly planned, but that's not the same thing as doing something which goes against etiquette.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    <div>It might not be tacky to HAVE a tiered reception here, but to have events overlap in such a poorly planned way that one "tier" of guests has to wait in the hall while other people are allowed in to eat?  That part is tacky.    </div>
    DSC_9275
  • Even in a place where it's common, it's gotta suck to show up ready to dance only to be told to wait until the more important guests are done eating.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:59d08cb7-4490-49db-aa85-8d6525d4a8ad">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : It might not be tacky to HAVE a tiered reception here, but to have events overlap in such a poorly planned way that one "tier" of guests has to wait in the hall while other people are allowed in to eat?  That part is tacky.    
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    But was it really due to poor planning?  Was it the couple's fault things were running so late?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:1abec0a0-1721-4f43-8aa2-e14d0e5397a6">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : But was it really due to poor planning?  Was it the couple's fault things were running so late?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am going to guess not.  I have had friends involved with some of these new reality shows and apparently they often run late...I think in an effort to build tension. The husband of a co-worker is a wedding photographer and he worked the wedding of a couple who were on some show about dueling MOBs and MOGs...he said he would never work another wedding that was involved with a show, apparently it was brutal. </div>
  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:1abec0a0-1721-4f43-8aa2-e14d0e5397a6">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : But was it really due to poor planning?  Was it the couple's fault things were running so late?
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Well, both of them showed up an hour late to their own wedding.   And they planned the dance in the same place as the dinner (which, I gather, is not how it is usually done).  Well, the groom did anyway.  In this show the groom plans the wedding so it's a surprise to the bride.</div>
    DSC_9275
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:9e4efef7-31bf-42d6-92f9-6a8076ab82d4">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : Well, both of them showed up an hour late to their own wedding.   And they planned the dance in the same place as the dinner (which, I gather, is not how it is usually done).  Well, the groom did anyway.  In this show the groom plans the wedding so it's a surprise to the bride.
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    But, as Number said...when you're filming, you're at the mercy of the film crew.  Just because they showed up late still doesn't mean it was their fault.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:4ec136e1-a599-41c6-8763-9806ddc86ba1">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : But, as Number said...when you're filming, you're at the mercy of the film crew.  Just because they showed up late still doesn't mean it was their fault.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    <div>Meh, could be.  Didn't think of that.  However, I've seen about a dozen episodes of this same show, and no other bride and groom have ever been late to their own wedding.</div>
    DSC_9275
  • ElinetrouwtElinetrouwt member
    500 Comments
    edited January 2012
    Still. Tiered receptions are the norm were I live (Belgium). For example, after our ceremony (with enough time in between), a larger group of people will attend our cocktail time (about 2.5 hours). The ones who didn't attend our ceremony will leave after that, leaving a smaller group for dinner and dancing. This is very normal and accepted here.

    But the situation Avion describes is tacky, and unfortunately, it happens often. It is becoming more and more common to invite a certain group of guests, usually the younger crowd, after dinner, just for dancing and dessert, to save costs. This is something pretty recent. We were not planning on this, because we don't like the concept. When we met with our venue coordinator, she applauded us on this and said she was glad, because it often happens that dinner is running late and the dancing group has to wait, and this is very embarrassing for both parts.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:fa1f2607-c3a1-464a-b558-16e52917d6c5">Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception.... : Meh, could be.  Didn't think of that.  However, I've seen about a dozen episodes of this same show, and no other bride and groom have ever been late to their own wedding.
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

    <div>Maybe the producers didn't think it would be interesting enough if they weren't late. Seriously, the amount of 'producing' that goes into a 'reality tv' show is ridiculous.  I don't for a minute believe that they don't purposely pick brides and grooms who are likely to cause some sort of drama - why would anyone watch these shows otherwise?  Of course, I don't know about this particular show, just 'wedding' reality TV in general. </div><div>
    </div>
  • Yes, the situation is tacky, especially if it was the couple's fault due to being late or having things in the same place when that's not how it's usually done.

    But you used this as an example of why not to do a tiered wedding. It's not an example of that in this case, it's just an example of why to plan your wedding well enough that your guests are inconvenienced.
  • I <3 "Don't Tell the Bride". It's so dumb, it's awesome!

    And that does sound like a nightmare situation, but I agree that it's probably the fault of the film crew or the producers. It happens that that's one of those TV shows where things are forced by the producers to create drama and tension.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_one-reason-not-tiered-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d8867767-166e-4017-8934-49a074add221Post:4be4b9d1-5188-4b6f-b989-64550bce336a">One more reason NOT to do a tiered reception....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I live in the UK, and am watching a wedding show right now (Don't Tell the Bride, for any other UK knotties), and they had a tiered reception.  Immediately following the ceremony, they did a sit-down dinner with the 50 or so people invited to the ceremony, and a dance/after-party with another 50 or so of their friends.   From what I've heard from friends and seen on wedding shows, this is apparently quite common in the UK. So, this couple's wedding day was running so late, that after-party guests (NOT invited to the dinner) were showing up at the reception location before the dinner even started, at the same time as some of the dinenr guests.  The USHERS had to stand in the hall and tell people, "Wait a minute while we try to figure out who is supposed to be here...."   Talk about TACKY.   
    Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>A little off the point of the post but they just started this in the USA. Such a weird show. :]

    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards