Another Registry Question

PirateintheSky

I was reading the other registry post and wondered:

Can I put on my invitations that if they chose to get us gifts, that we would prefer donations to a couple of our favorite charities? I know this is kind of like asking for money, but its kind of different, right?

If its acceptable, how would you word that, and where would you put it?

tldh

No, it's not different at all.  You cannot make any mention of any gift of any type.

Also, please consider that no matter how far out of the realm of possibility, you may have guests who do not agree with your choices for whatever reasons.  I know that I personally hate charity suggestions.  I already support my own charities and do not appreciate being told to donate to others if I really love the B&G.

arbolita

Nothing about gifts/registries should be on the invite, regardless of what it says.  If you have a wedding website, it would go there.

PirateintheSky

That's really sad that charities have to lose out so we can get stuff we don't need/want. But I totally get it from an etiquette standing.  Thanks for the info.

tiffersnc

Agree with PPs. No registry/donation info on the invitations. You can direct those invited to your website for hotels, directions, etc. Your registry information can go there.

You can mention it on the website, but you'll have to be careful how you word it. Some people won't agree with your charities and won't want to donate. 

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:bf0c426b-dcf2-4255-9d36-741d5bc51963">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]  I know that I personally hate charity suggestions.  I already support my own charities and do not appreciate being told to donate to others if I really love the B&G.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

Would you really hate that if you were going to buy a gift for someone and you asked what THEY wanted and they gave you a specific charity they support?  Do you always only get people only what YOU want to get for them and not what they want?  I realize you already support your own, but it wouldn't be your own charity money going towards it, it would be the gift money you were intending on spending on the Bride and Groom. Plus we'd be happier with any charity over getting stuff for us.

...... I need caffeine, sorry.

skittles1977

As said above, I might not support your charity!  Besides, if you really want to donate to a charity, just do so!  Don't use your wedding as a platform for your charity!  Maybe you will get lucky and get money and then you can use that towards a donation to your chartiy.  That would less likely to offend people!

skippylouwho

I don't see it as the charities losing out. I either already give to the charity or it's not a charity I would give to - so they aren't losing out on money from me.

I want to give something to the couple, not their choice of a charity. That is my choice.

If you don't want box gifts, don't register. Most people will then either not give you anything or they will give you cash or gift certificates.  You can donate the cash to the charities yourself. The added bonus is that you may be able to take that donation as a tax deduction

As far as the gift certificates, depending on what stores they are for your charity might still be able to use them. If it isn't for supplies and other usable things, they might be able to auction them or give them to clients if it is a charity that serves needy families. I would guess a place like Ronald McDonald house could also use gift certificates, both for their needs but possibly you could stipulate they be given to families to use while they stay there to pay for meals (if restuarant cards) or clothing if they are from stores like Penny's, Macys, etc.

There are ways to make this work the way you want if you think about it. Some people might complain that giving away what you've been given is wrong but once you give something away it is no longer yours and the recipient can do whatever they want with it. If you want to give away gifts or sell gifts, it's your choice.

Even if you don't register, not every guest will bring cash or gift cards. Some will stll give you box gifts. That's just how it is.

PirateintheSky

Its not that I don't get it, I do. 

But then why is acceptable when people make donations to chairties in place of giving favors?

tldh

Here's the thing.  Some charities have political overtones to them.  Others are badly managed where administration and overhead get the majority of what is donated.  There are a lot of reasons I don't like being told where to donate and why I am careful about who gets my money - and even if it's a gift in your name, it would still be my check and my money going to the charity.  This isn't like a registry.  I don't think anyone would have a philosophical reason against giving place setting or stand mixer.

If you have a small registry, I'd get the hint to give you cash.  You can do whatever you want with it.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:13a8fa05-5225-4c04-aaa9-e4fb84382ff5">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Its not that I don't get it, I do.  But then why is acceptable when people make donations to chairties in place of giving favors?
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

It's not.  Anyone who thinks this is a favor is kidding themselves.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:7b6a36af-5c4c-49a3-8981-65e70624104a">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's the thing.  Some charities have political overtones to them.  Others are badly managed where administration and overhead get the majority of what is donated.  There are a lot of reasons I don't like being told where to donate and why I am careful about who gets my money - and even if it's a gift in your name, it would still be my check and my money going to the charity.  This isn't like a registry.  I don't think anyone would have a philosophical reason against giving place setting or stand mixer. If you have a small registry, I'd get the hint to give you cash.  You can do whatever you want with it.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]


I'm not arguing, promise.  But I certainly don't think there are political overtones to saving starving and abused animals.  And honestly if I thought any of my guests would down right refuse to donate to a charity that supported that, I wouldn't invite them. Not saying they would have to donate, but if they would rather get me a blender that could be friends with the blender I already have, instead of donating because they only support charities that helped save music programs and I simply didn't ask for that.  I'd be very sad for a person like that.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:ce438fa7-69f6-466d-8aff-7b4dc5a2924f">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : It's not.  Anyone who thinks this is a favor is kidding themselves.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx</a>

The knot thinks it is.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:728cdb30-ef34-45e0-9005-cdb2f2a5eba2">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx</a> The knot thinks it is.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

I'm not trying to argue either but post a specific question on these boards where people (not the bridal industry) answer and see what kind of response you get.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:0cfee06c-6ef1-422b-b58f-4f0f5d3d3565">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : I'm not arguing, promise.  But I certainly don't think there are political overtones to saving starving and abused animals.  And honestly if I thought any of my guests would down right refuse to donate to a charity that supported that, I wouldn't invite them. Not saying they would have to donate, but if they would rather get me a blender that could be friends with the blender I already have, instead of donating because they only support charities that helped save music programs and I simply didn't ask for that.  I'd be very sad for a person like that.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]
So if I think that my charitable contributions should benefit humans rather than animals, you would be sad for me? Wow, arrogant much? Charitable contributions are an incredibly personal decision, and what is right for you most likely won't be right for every guest. I'll draw this analogy for you - let's say I whole-heartedly support the mission of Planned Parenthood. Some of my guests are passionate right-to-lifers. Should I impose my choice of charities on them, when it is antithetical to their personal beliefs?

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:728cdb30-ef34-45e0-9005-cdb2f2a5eba2">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-favors/articles/top-tips-for-fabulous-wedding-favors.aspx</a> The knot thinks it is.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

I hate this. A lot. I don't care for favors-- unless it's edible and I eat it on the spot, I don't necessarily want your tiny picture frame or your glass with your monogram on it (like seriously? What am I supposed to do with that?) But also, donating the money to charity in lieu of favors grates me. For starters, in the grand scheme of wedding budgets, the favors are nothing, so I kind of feel like it's a big show of donating money for not that much money. And, like everyone else has says-- people dont' always like the charities in the first place. So it's very presumptious to either:
1) donate to charity in someone else's name (the favor thing) without knowing what charities they support; or
2) asking someone to donate to specific charities (since they may or may not agree with the charity's mission or the way it's run)

You can definitely put that information on your website, or spread it through the grapevine. I still think if you word it on your website, though, it will sound weird. And maybe a little holier-than-thou. If I saw something that said, in effect, "We have everything that we need. In lieu of gifts, please donate to XYZ charity), I'd roll my eyes.

What I'd prefer is a very small registry, which clearly tips me off that couple wants cash. I give you cash. You do what you like with it. Or, even better- you use my cash for a purchase you were planning on making (like your honeymoon upgrade, your downpayment, an anniversary trip-- something wedding-related) and use your own cash to save the world.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:1985c545-ccb1-4f25-9a94-9c3e6cffd812">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : So if I think that my charitable contributions should benefit humans rather than animals, you would be sad for me? Wow, arrogant much? Charitable contributions are an incredibly personal decision, and what is right for you most likely won't be right for every guest. I'll draw this analogy for you - let's say I whole-heartedly support the mission of Planned Parenthood. Some of my guests are passionate right-to-lifers. Should I impose my choice of charities on them, when it is antithetical to their personal beliefs?
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

No, I wasn't saying that your charitable was better than mine.  I don't only support animals either.  But that is probably the one that has absolutely zero political motivation, such as your hypothetical planned parenthood support.  Also, you missed my point, that I wouldn't want to invite someone who would rather buy me an additional blender instead of donating to an organization they didn't commonly chose.

And your last line sums up my point.  If someone didn't believe it supporting starving or abused animals (not over something else, but at all) there is no way I would want to invite them.

nhelene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:0cfee06c-6ef1-422b-b58f-4f0f5d3d3565">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : I'm not arguing, promise.  But I certainly don't think there are political overtones to saving starving and abused animals.  And honestly if I thought any of my guests would down right refuse to donate to a charity that supported that, I wouldn't invite them. Not saying they would have to donate, but if they would rather get me a blender that could be friends with the blender I already have, instead of donating because they only support charities that helped save music programs and I simply didn't ask for that.  I'd be very sad for a person like that.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

Lots of people refuse to donate to large organizations because they can't see where the money is going.  AIDS and Breast Cancer charities are examples where a lot of the money raised goes on to throw big awareness parties; some people know this and are fine with it, but I know a lot of people who don't donate to some foundations for that reason.  Some people only donate to local issues for that very reason.  And likewise would be pissed if someone made a donation 'in their name'.

It's not because they think they're bad causes.  If someone doesn't want to donate to the Humane Society that doesn't mean they're serial puppy-kickers.

LuluP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:1985c545-ccb1-4f25-9a94-9c3e6cffd812">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : So if I think that my charitable contributions should benefit humans rather than animals, you would be sad for me? Wow, arrogant much? Charitable contributions are an incredibly personal decision, and what is right for you most likely won't be right for every guest. I'll draw this analogy for you - let's say I whole-heartedly support the mission of Planned Parenthood. Some of my guests are passionate right-to-lifers. Should I impose my choice of charities on them, when it is antithetical to their personal beliefs?
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

To be fair, I think what she was trying to say is she wouldn't pick somewhere like Planned Parenthood (which is politically polarizing). She'd pick somewhere she perceives as neutral, like the humane society. And it's not like she'd refuse to have guests who aren't donors to the humane society; it's that if any guests refused to donate money to the humane society when she asked, she probably wouldn't be freinds with them.

I still hate charity donations in lieu of anything, but I wanted to stand up for OP, because I don't think she was meaning to come across as you took it.

tenofcups4me

I think this is one of those places where the "rules" are used to pervert the intent. Yes, you should not tell people what gifts you want anywhere on an invitation (and I believe that applies to shower invitations too). But if you DON'T want a gift or would rather that people donate to a charity instead of giving you a gift, I think putting it on the invitation is appropriate. In fact, I think it's a beautiful gesture. So this is an instance where I personally would not follow the rules and would feel free to put it directly on the invitation.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:3b8c14e8-62ea-4beb-a0c7-eb8af4c62240">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is one of those places where the "rules" are used to pervert the intent. Yes, you should not tell people what gifts you want anywhere on an invitation (and I believe that applies to shower invitations too). But if you DON'T want a gift or would rather that people donate to a charity instead of giving you a gift, I think putting it on the invitation is appropriate. In fact, I think it's a beautiful gesture. So this is an instance where I personally would not follow the rules and would feel free to put it directly on the invitation.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

You disagree with EVERYONE, and I love it!

Although I haven't decided if I will do it or not yet. I think I will probably not and just only register at places that are charities (most of them have online donation areas), and then only put that up for my registry information.

LuluP82

I got some coffee, and I'm more eloquent.

Here's the issue with charity donations-- you're asking (really, telling) your guests to specifically get you something-- a donation to a charity. A registry, on the other hand, is seen as merely a helpful suggestions, so that guests know what the couple really needs or wants to set up house. Lots of people don't give off of registries, and it's perfectly acceptable-- maybe Aunt Sue always, always gives a silver tray. You didn't register for one? She's going to get it for you anyway. I always, always, always write a check for a wedding (I get gifts for showers). I  figure, it's not really like a birthday gift where I can bargain shop and they won't know how much I spent- if it's on their registry, they know anyway, so I might as well give them cash. If they want to buy their silver badly, they can use my cash for that.

Asking for charity donations, to me, screams that 1) you expect gifts; and 2) that they have to be exactly what you asked for. That's why it's an etiquette no-no, in my opinion.

Just have a small registry, and tell your close friends/bridal party what you really want. People will ask them, if they want to know.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:b1924b69-c4f8-4798-a44d-726b8a837181">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : To be fair, I think what she was trying to say is she wouldn't pick somewhere like Planned Parenthood (which is politically polarizing). She'd pick somewhere she perceives as neutral, like the humane society. <em><strong><u>And it's not like she'd refuse to have guests who aren't donors to the humane society;</u></strong></em> it's that if any guests refused to donate money to the humane society when she asked, she probably wouldn't be freinds with them. Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

Considering the OP wrote this - [QUOTE]If someone didn't believe it supporting starving or abused animals (not over something else, but at all) there is no way I would want to invite them. [/QUOTE]  it appears that she would refuse to have those guests. Just because you or the OP don't view something as politically polarizing does not mean that some people would not judge them as polarizing.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:861f0f0e-800d-48e9-a324-d08519c1f2aa">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE] Asking for charity donations, to me, screams that 1) you expect gifts; and 2) that they have to be exactly what you asked for. That's why it's an etiquette no-no, in my opinion. Just have a small registry, and tell your close friends/bridal party what you really want. People will ask them, if they want to know.
Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

What if I registered at a couple of our favorite charities? They do have registries.
Why does it mean they have to get exactly what I asked for? Why does that mean my Aunt can't still give me a silver tray? (which I would find useless, but if my Aunt always gave the same thing, I would feel like I was missing out of a tradition if I didn't get one)

tenofcups4me

This whole conversation is mind-boggling to me. The OP wants nothing for herself. And rather than commend her, you're all telling her she really needs to register for gifts so people can buy  her presents that she doesn't want. So she follows "etiquette"? Seriously, in what world does that make sense?

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:3a4b618c-2c49-40ae-9c51-5ccf849ceef5">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : Considering the OP wrote this -   it appears that she would refuse to have those guests. Just because you or the OP don't view something as politically polarizing does not mean that some people would not judge them as polarizing.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

Thats not what I said at all.  I very clearly said that they wouldn't have to be donating to them, but just that they couldn't refuse to donate to somewhere that saves abused animals in preference to get me something I don't need because they don't want to support abused animals. That is the person I wouldn't want to know, or have present at my wedding.

Also, just to mention it, I wouldn't chose the Humane Society because I actually do know a few people who would not prefer them because they are a kill shelter.  Only a non-kill organization would be chosen.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:ec1ab25a-45d3-4600-a4e3-2ad2437e22ff">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]This whole conversation is mind-boggling to me. The OP wants nothing for herself. And rather than commend her, you're all telling her she really needs to register for gifts so people can buy  her presents that she doesn't want. So she follows "etiquette"? Seriously, in what world does that make sense?
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

Please quote me where I said <strong>ANYTHING </strong>to the effect that she needs to register. I'm trying to impress on the OP that her "guests" will likely have differing opinions on charities they deem worthy, and may not appreciate her choice of charity for whatever reason.

PirateintheSky

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:ec1ab25a-45d3-4600-a4e3-2ad2437e22ff">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]This whole conversation is mind-boggling to me. The OP wants nothing for herself. And rather than commend her, you're all telling her she really needs to register for gifts so people can buy  her presents that she doesn't want. So she follows "etiquette"? Seriously, in what world does that make sense?
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

At least someone seems to not be making this into some kind of crazy frenzy. Why would someone rather get me things I don't need than give some things to people/animals that are obviously in need. I understand I should probably not ask for donations to support my local crack mom in buying crack, or to the rise of the communist party, or the ressurection of Elvis, but seriously, there are plenty of charities that people may not be their donation of choice, but they can certainly make a "compromise" and donating to so they can both help people and give me a wedding gift.  And like I said a couple times, I would LOVE a donation to pretty much anywhere (except the crack mom cause) over getting a gift I don't need. I just thought it would be nice to provide an idea of places I do encourage donations to.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:e0b08e5f-7ff1-402f-b4a9-c9604c753a93">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : Thats not what I said at all.  I very clearly said that they wouldn't have to be donating to them, but just that they couldn't refuse to donate to somewhere that saves abused animals in preference to get me something I don't need because they don't want to support abused animals. <strong>That is the person I wouldn't want to know, or have present at my wedding.</strong> Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

You just made my point for me. Thanks!

[QUOTE]Also, you missed my point, <strong>that I wouldn't want to invite someone</strong> who would rather buy me an additional blender instead of donating to an organization they didn't commonly chose.[/QUOTE]
You are contradicting yourself.

PirateintheSky

In Response to Re: Another Registry Question:

In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : To be fair, I think what she was trying to say is she wouldn't pick somewhere like Planned Parenthood (which is politically polarizing). She'd pick somewhere she perceives as neutral, like the humane society. And it's not like she'd refuse to have guests who aren't donors to the humane society; it's that if any guests refused to donate money to the humane society when she asked, she probably wouldn't be freinds with them. Posted by LuluP82

Considering the OP wrote this -

If someone didn't believe it supporting starving or abused animals (not over something else, but at all) there is no way I would want to invite them.

  it appears that she would refuse to have those guests. Just because you or the OP don't view something as politically polarizing does not mean that some people would not judge them as polarizing.


I think you missed my point again and DEFINITELY Lulu's point, which was actually want I was commenting on.

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-registry-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d88c2f81-dc21-4ea6-93a0-9b7faaca9dccPost:c9db8f06-203e-4a34-a68a-221ef6864228">Re: Another Registry Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Another Registry Question : Please quote me where I said ANYTHING to the effect that she needs to register. I'm trying to impress on the OP that her "guests" will likely have differing opinions on charities they deem worthy, and may not appreciate her choice of charity for whatever reason.
Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

You didn't. Others did.

I don't see how this is any different than the millions of couples who register at, say, Walmart. I don't shop there for a host of political reasons. If that's where someone is registered, I wouldn't buy them a gift from there. I'd get them something else. So if you don't support the charities she supports, why not just give her some other kind of gift, cash, or no gift at all? What's the difference?