how do i make it clear i do NOT want gifts?

beachybride333

hi everyone,

i had a destination wedding in the caribbean and am planning a little "at home" BBQ reception for those that couldn't make it (well those that made it as well are of course invited).  I am doing this becuase i know close friends and family felt really bad about not being able to come to our wedding.  We plan to show the video of our ceremony along with a slide show of our professional pictures,.

I am just wondering what i can do to make it clear that this is not a gift grab.  Obviously i won't mention gifts on the invite and i took down our registry from our wedding website.  but is there any wording i CAN put on the invite that signals "no gifts"

thanks!

JanoBean75

It's not polite to mention gifts at all. You should spread this information by word of mouth. If anyone asks where you're registered, just let them know you have everything you need and hope to see them at your celebration.

barrelbabe004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clear-not-want-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d90e96ca-b06e-4a4b-8c52-24344a7e7e0bPost:70f46a34-18f7-4b1d-ab2f-062dff0a841c">Re: how do i make it clear i do NOT want gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's not polite to mention gifts at all. You should spread this information by word of mouth. If anyone asks where you're registered, just let them know you have everything you need and hope to see them at your celebration.
Posted by JanoBean75[/QUOTE]


Ditto this.

SilverLining1

I think that as long as they were invited to the ceremony, no one is going to think you're gift-grabby. Even if they weren't, I don't think they would think "beyotch wants presents". Honestly, taking away your registry would probably just confuse them. Many people will get you a gift regardless.

amys325

I'm sure I will get scalded for this, but we had a DW and then had 3 AHRs (all very casual, just didn't want friends and family to have to travel) and on the invitation we said "Your friendship is very important to us, we ask that you bring no gifts."

Since we were inviting people who weren't invited to the DW, I had no problem making it clear.  Many people got us gifts and many didn't.  Either way, we wanted to celebrate. 

You can also just tell your parents to spread the word that you don't want gifts if you don't feel comfortable putting it on the invite.

thesequel

Word of mouth might be best.  I gave this "task" to my FMIL who is really good at this sort of thing.

We don't want gifts period and are hoping that people don't bring us anything other than best wishes.  

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_clear-not-want-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d90e96ca-b06e-4a4b-8c52-24344a7e7e0bPost:1965bc0c-bc1f-466c-ac85-5321e846551f">how do i make it clear i do NOT want gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]hi everyone, i had a destination wedding in the caribbean and am planning a little "at home" BBQ reception for those that couldn't make it (well those that made it as well are of course invited).  I am doing this becuase i know close friends and family felt really bad about not being able to come to our wedding.  We plan to show the video of our ceremony along with a slide show of our professional pictures,. I am just wondering what i can do to make it clear that this is not a gift grab.  Obviously i won't mention gifts on the invite and i took down our registry from our wedding website.  but is there any wording i CAN put on the invite that signals "no gifts" thanks!
Posted by beachybride333[/QUOTE]

<div>You make no mention of gifts, and you don't have a card box.  If anyone asks, just say it's a no gift event.  </div><div>
</div><div>The thing is, people who want to give you a wedding gift are going to give you one no matter what you tell them.  By saying "no gifts please" you are implying that you think they should have brought a gift, which puts them in an awkward spot.  Just leave it be, and expect that you will likely get at least a few gifts.  Just like people who aren't invited to the wedding who still choose to give you a gift, it's because they want to give you something in honor of your marriage.</div>