Flameworthy opinion

ring_pop

Having caught up on the few honeymoon registry-related posts today, I'm a little shocked that so many people simply cannot fathom the concept that someone might actually have everything they *need*. 

There must be SOMETHING you need! Even if you HAVE it, there must be a BETTER version!

I mean, my linens aren't 10,000 thread count, but they keep me cozy at night. My towels don't all match my bathroom paint colour, but they get me dry after a shower. Neither of these were enough reason for me to suggest that people buy me these things.

Anyway, this is aside from the whole honeymoon registry idea. I know we all have opinions on that, but it's irrelevant to what I'm saying here. I don't have a good solution for the couple that has everything. I'm just saying that it really is possible that someone might actually "need nothing".

I'm glad that it was suggested at the end that you don't HAVE to register, but I'm surprised it took as long as it did.

tlv204

Mandy that's a great picture! I don't think I've seen that one before.

Also I really could not care less if people register or not, for honeymoons or blenders.

SarahPLiz

I jsut don't like the HM registry, or the mortgage or bill registry, because it costs money. The B&G are not getting the full bang of the giver's buck, because of transaction fees. Why people can't just say we don't need anything and pass that by word of mouth is beyond me. WHy wouldn't you just take the cash and skip the 5-10% fee? Its more money if you just take the damn cash . DOH!

I see a registry as more of a guide. It tells me what the B&G are into and what their style is. I am the person that will shop off registry for something that coordinates with the registry.. but that's just me.

Personally, I don't want anyone to know how much my HM cost, or how much i need for a down payment, or how much I am behind on my bills. That's personal info about my financial situation that is none of their damn business. If they want to give a gift, the amount should be based on their personal finances, not their perception of mine.

end rant

tenofcups4me

As recently as a year ago, DH and I literally had everything we needed and wanted for our house. For the past several years, I've had a hard time even coming up with something relatively inexpensive to tell my parents I want for a birthday or Hanukah gift (that's how we do it in my family). We made good money and spent it on what we wanted. So yeah, I can easily see being in a position where you don't need or want anything, especially if you're "older" and have either been living together for a while or have been married before.

I think it's silly to register for things if you don't want them. But of course then you take the risk that you're going to get things you want even less.

FWIW, NOW we are in a completely different position. We've moved to a new house and there are all sorts of things that I need/want.

colky

Thank you!!!

That is all.

Mrs.B6302007

The way I see it is if a couple isn't in *need* of household items to put on a traditional registry, then a HM isn't a real *need* either and doesn't need a registry.  If a couple doesn't need anything, then they can let guests give them cash/GCs that the couple can use as needs/wants arise.

hayleymajayley

So frustrating when you DONT WANT GIFTS and everyone tries to prove you wrong! I know what I want people! And it isn't gifts! I just want people to show up and have fun. How about a hug? Can you register for HUGS?

smokeybailey

Eh, I'd rather have a massage on a HM than a new kitchenaid, but that's just me.  My vacations have been more valuable to me over a lifetime (as far as memories) than any old mixer, high thread count sheets, or new wine glasses.

Just because I register for a HM registry doesn't mean that I can't afford it.  It just means that this trip is more valuable to me than a $50 gift card at Target.  And yes, I have had gift cards sit for well over a year before I made myself buy something dumb or at least unremarkable with them. 

I am not going to "upgrade" stuff just because I can.  I'd rather have people pitch in and buy us a great piece of art or pay for a fantasic day trip on a vacation or some other thing.  I am damn near forty and don't need any more spatulas.

I am bad one to listen to though because I much prefer a registry of ANY kind and I would also prefer that you include the card in the invite.  I sit down at the desk, mark my yes or no on the RSVP card, close the envelope, click onto the internet, buy your gift, mark my outlook calendar and then I am on my way.  So don't ask me.  Tacky is as tacky does and I think that I is tacky.

deepcovejackie

Hi all--Ring_Pop, I very much respect what you have to say about that.  I'm in the same boat, a DW and I don't need anything.  I don't even really want any gifts at all.  I'm wondering how to tell people that there are two GREAT charities (one a turtle rescue, and one a school) in the small Mexican town that is our wedding venue.  I'd love if folks wanted to choose to make a donation to one of those deserving organizations.

I can't help remembering the night when I was watching TV and there were two shows back to back.  One was about Doctors Without Borders, an episode in which a small child died for lack of iron in his diet.  And the other was a show on how to organize all your "stuff".  On one side there was a person with nothing and on the other side a person with too much.  *sigh*

c-dub

I'm getting in on this late, but still wanted to add my two cents. We are one of those couples who don't want to register because we already have everything we NEED. Yeah, sure, if pressed I'm sure we could "upgrade" to nicer sheets and towels and pots, but we don't want to. What we have works fine, and I don't want all my current stuff to end up in a landfill or have to drag it to goodwill just because wedding guests think I should "upgrade."

I think PP said it best when she remarked on the juxtaposition of the kid who died with the person who had a problem organizing all her stuff. I don't need more stuff, I don't want more stuff, I'm not going to register. I'm trying to avoid excess in my life and be satisfied with the modest things that I have.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flameworthy-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d91d3435-1934-478c-8593-a93454987cf8Post:a87c3fa6-42b6-4401-b29c-c3603cb49dd4">Re: Flameworthy opinion</a>:
[QUOTE]So I guess the bigger question is - WHY is it so hard to believe? Is it so unfathomable that someone might actually be completely happy with what they already have?
Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]

I am completely happy with what we have.  But, I still manage to go shopping regularly and buy things.  I actually have a lot of stuff I covet for my house but just can't justify buying for myself or replacing at this time.  Like towels.  They all pretty much suck - the white ones are greyer than they should be, the green ones match nothing in our house, the dog has chewed a few of them.  While this doesn't mean I will replace them, the only reason towels weren't on our list is because we still can't agree on colour.

I don't NEED all of the attachments for my kitchenaid, but you know, it'd be nice to have some of them.  I didn't NEED a hand blender since we have an awesome cuisinart one, BUT it's nice to have something easier to clean up after making my morning smoothie so we registered for a hand blender.

I didn't need sheets or table cloths so I didn't register for them, but I did register for a new set of goblets since ours are less than matched if we want to entertain.

This is from someone who was already married once before and is queen of buying what I want/need.  I actually managed some self restraint in the year before the wedding and had stuff to put on a registry.  I don't remember all of it, it wasn't huge by any means, but it gave people options if they wanted to buy us something.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_flameworthy-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d91d3435-1934-478c-8593-a93454987cf8Post:0924882a-b8b0-420c-b925-88dab9c28e3d">Re: Flameworthy opinion</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all--Ring_Pop, I very much respect what you have to say about that.  I'm in the same boat, a DW and I don't need anything.  I don't even really want any gifts at all.  I'm wondering how to tell people that there are two GREAT charities (one a turtle rescue, and one a school) in the small Mexican town that is our wedding venue.  I'd love if folks wanted to choose to make a donation to one of those deserving organizations. I can't help remembering the night when I was watching TV and there were two shows back to back.  One was about Doctors Without Borders, an episode in which a small child died for lack of iron in his diet.  And the other was a show on how to organize all your "stuff".  On one side there was a person with nothing and on the other side a person with too much.  *sigh*
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

With a DW people will figure it out and likely not bring gifts. 

You can take cash given to you and make donations to whatever charity you want.