Confused and Curious: NWR

shanaea87

I am really curious about something right now. This has nothing to do with weddings or needing advice about weddings.

I typically lurk on these boards just looking for ideas for my upcoming wedding. I have obviously seen people talking about the "regs" and the "newbs." I see alot of times people getting honest opinions about whether something is rude or tacky. I have seen where, to me, the regs kind of do their own thing after a big discussion and create a new thread sort of making fun of that previous discussion. (mostly cash bar related/whose paying type things) I read what I need to read and move on while trying to stay away from that. I'm not saying it's right or wrong just saying what I've seen.

To my point now: It a previous post earlier today I read a comment that a "reg" (atleast I think would be considered a reg; I've seen alot of postings from this person) made that was really rude and disrespectful. The OP did not post about your normal "cash bar/whose paying stuff." Her question was no rude and/tacky. 

- I just want to know why everyone seems to jump on the people for other things IMO not so important as OP's question but fail to see anything wrong with this "regs" comment. I'm just curious, that's all. 

P.S. The "reg" also never even answered the OP's question. They simply responded to make the comment they did.  

ootmother2

linky?

shanaea87

http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx

aleighk1

Yeah I wanna know!

aleighk1

That link doesn't work.

shanaea87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_food-truck-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:721caef5-91d3-4720-a69c-d4b231bd31a0Post:2141d1c0-5c0c-48cc-9002-c4c9693f5809">Food Truck Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]I just got engaged and live in socal.  we want to have a less traditional wedding.  It might be fun to have food trucks come and serve some different meals, anyone ever done this.  Any suggestions on what trucks?
Posted by sarahlapenna[/QUOTE]

Did you go to the link or are you talking in general?

achiduck

Agreed, it's hard to get a handle on the situation (ie if the comment was "uncalled" for) if we don't know what the comment was. 

shanaea87

I am really bad with the internet stuff. I apologize. It's on the this board under this title....Remembering a loved one at a ceremony???

Remembering a loved one at the ceremony??? kawelter on theknot.com

aleighk1

What Snippy said?

shanaea87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:2762ea32-05ca-49ae-b240-c48fbe6c83ba">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]What Snippy said?
Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

Yes.

Sidenote- I'm not looking for everyone to validate my OP. I am simply looking for different perspectives that might help how I am seeing things.

aleighk1

I think people did say she should not have said that but I also think this is something OP should've taken up with Snippy.

achiduck

ok, I found it. SnippyLynn called the OP out on her use of multiple question marks. 

I agree that that was pretty bitchy, especially since the board was about someone who JUST lost someone who was essentially their FBIL. I think in that case it was uncalled for and if you read the whole thread people did call her out on it later in the board.

Having been flamed by Snippy previously for something I never actually said (someone else said it and she just assumed it was me and proceeded to attack me in a thread I started later) I find that she can be a little aggressive sometimes, but it seems that's just who she is. This is the internet and people say what they want. Just ignore those comments and move on. 

EDIT: Regarding the OP's comments on the FFF boards, I also agree that it's kind of unnecessary and honestly I feel that it just perpetuates the "women are bitches who just backstab each other" perception. I choose not to participate in them because of that. 

ootmother2

I see it.

Yes, amoro was rude but quite a few others stepped in.

shanaea87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:96f3e006-c16d-4749-89d6-eb7bc02ad6f7">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I think what Snippy said was dumb, and somebody DID point it out besides you, so there's that.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]

Yes someone else did point it out. However, that someone wasn't one of the "regs" that I always see participating in many if the "rude/tacky" discussions.

aleighk1

Would you like one of us to go say something to her? I mean why does it matter if you're a "reg" or not. A lot of the "regs" don't read posts that don't interest them, so it's possible that none of the other "regs" saw the thread.

tidetravel

Eh, everyone has their days when they're snarky for the sake of snark.  Doesn't make it right, but I didn't think what she did/said was really that rude, either.  It was an offhanded comment that was probably overlooked by the majority of "regs" because that's kind of how Snippy is, and I don't think it was outright offensive.  Regs generally don't have a problem calling other regs out if there's an actual, legitimate grievance to be had.

DeadUtopia

I think that comment was pretty unnecessary. IMO, the point of these boards is for future brides to post questions about things that they might not be familiar with or just want others opinions, whether they are future brides' or past brides' opinions. A lot of 'regulars' get too carried away with thinking that they are always the only ones 'in the know' and that anyone asking a 'newb' question is somehow below them. It is frustrating, but I do like how the poster on that thread that you're talking about chose to be the better person and ignore that comment completely whereas the commenter apparently shouldn't be posting on a E board if that's how their responses are, even though sarcasm and downright rudeness may be hard to decipher via comments.

shanaea87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:33b5f593-9eaf-4a52-b18f-26070a8708bf">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I think people did say she should not have said that but I<strong> also think this is something OP should've taken up with Snippy.
</strong>Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

While I get now that may have been the route that I should have taken before posting I simply did not think about it. I was not planning on posting the actual comment. However, I did not think it entirely through to begin with. That was a comment that I read that after seeing many different things lurking around here made me decide to post.

mica178

Sorry.  I didn't read that post until right now.  I agree that it was unnecessarily snippy, even for Snippy.  

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I think most of us would think the comment was a bit uncalled for, but I will try to explain the regs/newbs thing. Snippy is a regular who has been around here for a few years. She has a dry sense of humor and little patience for things like bad grammar or dumb questions. However, if you hang out here enough, you get to know the other regular posters on a personal level. So from that one comment, yes, I can see how you would be put off, but the "regs" know Snippy is like that, but that she also has some great qualities too. Well, most of us like her, I'm sure some people don't, but that can said for any reg. Does that make sense?

Sometimes you'll see a reg say/ask something that people let slide, whereas a newb would be flamed over it. It just has to do with how well we know someone. We'll give people the benefit of the doubt if we know they're normally nice, rational people, but if the ONLY thing we know about them is that they're doing something rude, that's all we have to judge them on.

shanaea87

I just don't get how that does not upset other people reading that. To me that goes above and beyond being snarky and having different personalities. It's called respect. She chose to make a comment because the OP put three question marks. Seriously? Was that really so down right wrong?

tenofcups4me

Don't know if I'm a "reg" or not, but I can tell you why I didn't comment on it. First, I'll say I actually DID write something in my response to the OP and then I deleted it because that particular poster is so regularly nasty that it hardly seemed worth it. I just didn't have the energy to get into a pissing contest with someone who rarely (never?) shows any real empathy or understanding. It's just not worth it.

So I think there are probably those of us who just don't bother any more and others who are friends with her and either seem to enjoy her nastiness or be able to ignore it.

andy71781

One thing is clear though.....passive aggressive posts like this do not really advance the cause of being/playing nice.  Address the issue when you see it - page/PM if necessary.  Snippy is a big girl and has even apologized before. 

aleighk1

Well said, Mery

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:b24a7557-9f51-4a81-bf14-0e35888521da">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't get how that does not upset other people reading that. To me that goes above and beyond being snarky and having different personalities. It's called respect. She chose to make a comment because the OP put three question marks. Seriously? Was that really so down right wrong?
Posted by shanaea87[/QUOTE]

But you've only been here for 103 posts. Us erm... "regs"... have had (in some cases) years of getting to know each other and know how people will respond to things and choose when to ignore it, laugh at it or make a comment based on our relationship with the other reg.

alixzafiris

Or what Mery said. She be smart

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:b24a7557-9f51-4a81-bf14-0e35888521da">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]I just don't get how that does not upset other people reading that. To me that goes above and beyond being snarky and having different personalities. It's called respect. She chose to make a comment because the OP put three question marks. Seriously? Was that really so down right wrong?
Posted by shanaea87[/QUOTE]

If something like that is truly upsetting to you, perhaps the internet is not an appropriate playground for you.  It's not like she called her an ignorant bitch that needed a lesson in grammar.

DeadUtopia

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:9c63e982-ac92-42ce-974f-5ac7fb105a81">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confused and Curious: NWR : If something like that is truly upsetting to you, perhaps the internet is not an appropriate playground for you.  It's not like she called her an ignorant bitch that needed a lesson in grammar.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]


See, this is slightly uncalled for too. If a 'newb' were to even hint towards this type of grammar towards a 'reg' ooo the shite would hit the fan and someone would be reported.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:c1348d12-ae65-4b87-bb36-6309a62ff14a">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confused and Curious: NWR : See, this is slightly uncalled for too. If a 'newb' were to even hint towards this type of grammar towards a 'reg' ooo the shite would hit the fan and someone would be reported.
Posted by DeadUtopia[/QUOTE]
Calm down there newbie. 

shanaea87

Ok. Well as I previously stated I realize that I should have stated something to Snippy. Everyone has obviously different opinions and I understand that. I guess I simply do not get the whole dynamic of this board and everything that goes along with it. I apologize for stirring up things and appreciate the responses.

alixzafiris

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_confused-curious-nwr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:dadb89ef-6fe6-4a67-9e1b-7c1449686508Post:c1348d12-ae65-4b87-bb36-6309a62ff14a">Re: Confused and Curious: NWR</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Confused and Curious: NWR : See, this is slightly uncalled for too. If a 'newb' were to even hint towards this type of grammar towards a 'reg' ooo the shite would hit the fan and someone would be reported.
Posted by DeadUtopia[/QUOTE]

Erm. In what world exactly? It doesn't matter how long you've been here, if you spell like a moron, you're going to get poked for it by someone, regardless of how new they are. It happens.