Family inviting family

aychen702

One of my FI's family RSVP'd for 3 when only two were invited. They have several children, but I think the 3rd person they included was one of their children (who are all grown up, in their late 30's/early 40's, but one may still live with the parents). I had to severely limit my guest list in order for both of us to have equal numbers of guests, but my FI wasn't so careful with his initial list that he even actually forgot some of his family. He ended up adding close to 10 guests days  before we sent out the invites (we ended up dead even on guests after the additions).

Though it's just one more person, and may have been my FI's fault for forgetting, how should I approach him to handle the situation?

Any advice? Thanks so much!

Calypso1977

I'm only going by what I've read on posts on who gets a say in what and it always has to do with who's paying.

well, yes, this is true, but i think its generally understood that the bride herself paying is pretty much equivalent to the bride and groom paying together, since in theory, its all joint money since they will be married.  since its their wedding, they should have equal say regardless of whether the bride herself or the groom himself is paying.

sjnsjnsjn

Not all joint money, just because you're getting married...  People make all sorts of different arrangements in grown up land... And if people decide to split the list even Stevens, that's their choice.  I think I'm over this site.

kelly&wayne

I don't think it's crucial to have equal sides on your invite list.  My friends/family will likely make up more of the guests than my FI's, but neither of us think it's a big deal at all. That being said, when we asked FI's Mom for a few addresses she got back to us with many more addresses than we had asked for.  Unfortunately she had taken it upon herself to call and get addresses from people who were not invcluded on the original guest list.  However, having been asked for their addresses already we don't feel we can now simply not invite them so we're sucking it up and adding another 10 people to our guest list.  Sure, it will cost us more money if they do indeed choose to come, but we figured better to include people than to exclude them.

aychen702

Thanks for you reply! I am far from wanting him to limit his side of the guest list, and I do want to meet his family members I haven't yet met. We are going to suck it up as well and add the extra people. We still haven't heard back from everyone as well, so we still don't know what the final counts will be.
I appreciate the help, there are so many "rules" that apply to wedding planning, and so just wanted to outside opinions.