Guest Names on Save the Dates

laurAndJer

Hi, I am 8 months away from my wedding and am trying to get STDs out this week or next since many people will be travelling.

I am trying to get the names of everyone's boyfriend or girlfriend to put on the STD. I ask my mom for people's last names and she says I don't need to put that on there, what if they break up? I thought it would be nice to put the names and  not assume relationships will fail. Then again, what happens if they do break up? What do you do on the invitation?

Also, we have family members we haven't seen in a while and don't know if they're in a relationship. Do we ask? Use facebook? Using facebook just seems a little presumptuous and maybe even stalkerish?

[Deleted User]

On non-married/engaged/ long term couples, I only put the name of the actual invitee on the STD envelope. It is not an invitation so it just has to get to the household. I would do the names of SOs for the invitations though.

eshaufle

STD's are not mandatory for everyone.  To me they are only sent to those who are 100% for sure getting an invite to your wedding in 8 months.  I could be completely wrong on this so that's my disclaimer lol but I think it would be ok just to address the STD's to the one person and not include their bf/gf (unless they're engaged/married of course).

It's not like you're assuming there's a chance that their relationship might fail but, for argument sake, if it does I'm assuming some of these SO's would not normally be on the guest list if they weren't in this relationship?  If they're not 100% for sure invites they don't need a STD (or be addressed on one) by any means.

If it makes you feel better, I've been engaged since last year and my friend (who got engaged and married after we got engaged) sent out the STD and the invite to her wedding actually only addressed to me.  I didn't think there was anything wrong with the STD addressed only to me but I did find it funny that the invite wasn't to both of us.  But since you're question is just on STD's I wouldn't go nuts collecting names of bf/gf's.  Unless they're married (or engaged probably) it's not necessary at all I don't think.

jcamm11

STDs are not formal, so you don't need to add the SO's to them.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I only sent STDs to OOT guests (the majority of my guest list) and I addressed them to the guest and their SO. I 1) didn't want them to assume I wasn't inviting their SO and 2) wanted to make sure everyone knew they could bring someone for travel planning purposes.

If you really can't find out if the person is in a relationship, you can put "and guest," provided you stick to that an actually invite them to bring someone, regardless.

If someone breaks up, you don't need to invite their ex just because their name was on the STD, as long as they were only invited because they were a guest (like, you don't know the person). It might be nice to let the guest bring another person, though.

rena5498

My wedding is formal so im keeping the STDS formal too I found this info online on how to address invites and this is how im addressing the STDs. if your married I addressed it as Mr.and Mrs, Bob Thomas the husband full name is written out
on the same line.
 
if their not married and a couple then you address the person you are closest to first then their significant other name goes below theirs not on the same line  for example:

Ms. Lee Thomas
Mr. Bob Wilkins
123 east mark street

If you arent inviting both people you address just the one inividual

If I had to address a married couple with children I put their names as below

Mr. and Mrs. Harry rowley
megan and mark
123 mark street

If they are single and can bring their child

Ms.Lydia rollins
Dasir Johnson
123 mark street

If they are single and its ok to bring a guest

Mr. Lydia Rollins
Guest
123 mark street


HTH this is just what I found online and I liked it but everyone does it differently! But I would address first and last names and address the people you want to invite on the front otherwise some might take it that their mate is not invited. to me this seemed like the proper wedding etiquette. They always say how you do your invites sets the tone of the wedding.

sprat85

For Save the Dates we put the name of the person and guest.  Unless they were married or living together.  If living together we put both.  Then for the invites we tried to put everyone's name on there if we knew it.  The RSVP also stated that we had saved __ number of seats for them.  If it was a couple we put 2, if it was a single we put 1.  This way people knew whether they could bring a guest or not.  Additionally, we left a blank on the top for them to write who was RSVP'ing.  Everyone put their guests full name on it, so that def helped. 

We actually had a few friends break up during our engagement and a friend start dating someone and get married during our engagement.  The friends who broke up just let us know that they were not bring their plus one.  We told them they could bring someone else but most didn't want to.  The other politely asked if we had space.